CHEERY HUMOUR

Hokitika Guardian, 13 August 1925, Page 4

CHEERY HUMOUR

SAMPLES OF SAILOR JKSTS. SIIOAVI.NC VISITORS KOI'.XI). I CHRISTCHURCH. Aug. 12. Cheery humour is one characteristic of the American sailormeii, and they will spare no effort to show visitors round. Most of them are very young, and have been in the Navy for only a I few years, but there are some old stilts who have seen active service. “Well what’s the first tiling you will do ashore?” asked a reporter. A gaunt long-limbed mail, just off watch made reply: “AA'ell. I guess it will be a drink. Sure you people must do a lot of that to keep you warm in a climate like this. This is the nearest 1 want to get to that snow over there!” STOKEHOLD PHILOSOPHY A stalwart fireman who hailed from Pennysylvania was a gallant guide to two young ladies whose courage was apt to fail at the sight of vertical ladders. They were taken below decks, and down into a pokey and tremendously hot chamber, where amongst coils of pipes there were oil fires roaring under the pressure oi forced draught. He explained why on the way down there was a chamber botween two steel doors, and why olio door had always to be closed before the

other one was opened. “If wo were moving and a guy opened both doors,” Fie said, “there would be a rusli of air out and the oil fires would leap into the chamber and wipe out the firemen. The fires are kept blowing inwards by the draught.” PROUD OF THE SHIP. After the ladies had gone to cooler pans, ho said “you know we can get :ifj knots out of this bus and that’s 38 miles an hour. We did that when we were “the enemy” in a, mock attack on Hawaii, and the vibration made it hell. You would have thought the boilers were going to meet. Of course the faster we go the cooler it is, as the draught is greater. A PET NAME. “Tell me why do they call you gobs?” the big fellow was asked. “Well, I didn’t know till I got to Melbourne.” said the Pennsylvanian, “and then I saw a piece in a newspaper which said that when the American boys were away in Europe during the war. the folk at home used to call them “God’s Own Boys.” Of course the other chaps would not fall for that, and they called ’em “gobs”—lor short, like.” “Do you mind being called a gob?” “No fear; we call each other gobs, and we don’t mind a hit. In laet it’s sort of home-like. “A DRY XAVY—PERHAPS.” “You are a dry navy afloat, of course; but what happens when you are ashore?” “Well, in Melbourne 1 had a wonderful iwo days. And I’ll say it was a pleasure to drink real good beer. You know that America doesn’t have anything hut ‘hooch’—stnil' that knock? you "blind. It’s killing the people, and (becoming philosophical! that's the reason why we’ve had all the murdering and things.” " from TOM MIX’S STATE. “(ice. I ain’t used to this cold!” another man declared. “IN here 1 come from you never got it below 90 degrees. That’s out in Arizona, where Tom Mix comes from. Before 1 joined tire army and went to France I worked on the old man’s ranch. I joined up with the navy, for when we soldiers came ashorei at Xcw York there was everybody clasping bands and saying. “Hullo, friend!” but T came from out west and nobody eared a dang about me. So T just joined the navy, and here 1 am.” “Have a cigarette?” “Xo. thanks; 1 smoke ‘Bull Durham.’ ” Here he sprinkled a cigarette panel* with tobacco and rolled it with deftness, pulling the threads of his pouch to close it. with his teeth, in the approved eowlvov manner. “Did you see much of Melbourne?” “Well, no, not really. You see. 1 look a. taxi from the wharf to the nearest, hotel, and saw nothing hut. the pictures on the wall of the bar for a fortnight. But. boy. I’m not tired of si'dit -seeing vet !” A WAY. A group of young fellows were look-in-r over the shoulders of a, man who was reading the “Press” welcome. “Well, that’s all very pretty.” said a wag, “and it seems they speak He American language, although they haven't, learnt it properly.” He discovered that 50 additional police would reinforce the city while the Fleet was here. “Well, look here, n they haven't got fifty-one policemen to see we don't get into harm’s way,” he said. His males ;i(*km>\\'ledt r <‘(l tin? JH?st •>' t liunipi n<i liiin on Hkj bark. A n.*iK>rU*r asked him if bo had over seen snow as dost* as Ml. Ilerheit before. “Why. hoy. up in the. North where I come from it’s knee deep, and it snows all the year round.” He would have told other yarns, too. probably, hut the reporter did not stay.