LAW COURT SPARKLETS

Hokitika Guardian, 22 November 1923, Page 4

LAW COURT SPARKLETS

JUTS FROM THE HO.ME CAM) SOME AMUSING RETORTS. Magristrate (at Willsden) : What arc you suffering from ? Defendant: It's my clotted artery. Mail (at Bow): When you want a favour done, send your wife. She's an "odds on” chance. Man iat llighgate): I am sorry, most sorry. . . I wish J had hit the policeman on the head! Solicitor (at Marylehone): W’hai means lias the debtor-' Witness :A wireless sc-t, but it isn’t licensed. Description of a debtor at Bow County Court: She’s one of those wear no-

thin;;, make anything "iris. Wife (at How) : Some people agree to dill'er. My Inisbaiid and I have never agreed either one wav or ilio othor. .1 mine Chier (to a woman at Shoreditch) : Don’t bellow at 111 c! Save It until you reach homo for your husband ! "She said to me. 'l’ll kill yon,' ” said a woman at Enfield. "I said, ‘if you do I'll never speak to you sixain.’ ” ‘'Married life would not be worth living if you didn't have an occasional ‘dust-up.’ ” —Woman at Bow County Court. Nothin;; is more painful than a “t l iaolit forward r|Uestion to a crooked mind, said .Judge Clucr at Shoreditch County Cotii-i. Witness ;,! .Mat li-h.uic : This motiier-in-law is a new kind of mother-iu-h\w—n business woman who minds her own business. "! I men would only travel a lit tle, lh v would timl out what little usig-itilii-nni worms they arc.”—A woman at Bow County Court. Woman at Bow County Court): Very few women ;;ot happiness out of life unless they shut their eye- (o

their neighbour’s dresses. Clerk (at Marleybone) : Wind relation is Lhis man who annoyed you? Woman : be is my baby’s father’s sis-ter-in-law's husband. "What, is this woman:"” asked a solicitor in Marleyhone County Court. "She is the widow of her diseased husband,” was the reply. Solicitor (at Wills,-Jen) : Did you not call her a Sunday School teacher? Woman: Good gracious, no! I never use such language! Solicitor -:ai Marleyhone County court): Wlmt was the date of your wedding?. .Man: I ean’l remember every little detail in my life. Woman (at Shoreditch County Court): I never "row’-' with my hus-ban-.1. Il lakes two to make a <|iiaricl. ami ! do all the talking. "lie thinks I am made ol money. I've paid him at least three senarate shillings this year.” —An indignant debtor at Bow County Court. - Solicitor (at Bow County Court): What is your objection to my client? I.amlladv: There is too much of the Belgravia about her for Poplar. "Widows arc beter than single women for dome-tic service." said a woman at Bow. "You see, they’re served tlieii- apprenticeship. I.amliady at Marleyhone): I don't know where my lodger finds her language. I don't know half the words, am! that is saying something. Sol it *i lor (at Shoreditch) : lias your husband money? Wife: I cannot say. lie paid for the marriage license-lie's paid for uni king since. 'I have never been prosecuted for ‘oiling; rotten iisli : therefore il is impossible for me to have sold rotten li-li.” Man at. Mauslieid Police Court. "Will your wife take the until?” a mail was asked (ft .Marylehone County Court. "I don't know,” lie replied, "but she can swear without that.” ”Wlicn you are married you have lo 'iso a lot. ol strategy. The man always lias Hull lilile word ‘obey’ in lii< "--Wife at (Marylehone.

Wile (at Marvlehone' : My husband olicn. talk- about roliriug from marri d life, fun | iloll'l think lie'll ,|o that while.! have hands lo work' for him. v “'di< iloi- .at Croydon 1 : This mail's name is Rainbow. and he assures me that., si, inr as these olfonces aio coll < oriicd. this shall lie 1 In- end of the rn i 11 1 1 -1 v.. 'Wlial is votir wife's maiden mime?" a man was asked ai .Marylehone. Mail: I am her third husband. She lias pt'ob.iM\ P", gotten il by V" . and I pm-;-' knee it.

“To the true motorist, tho nofsy barking for his engine is as c-heery and comforting a sound as tho jingle of tho harness was to the old time ‘cabby.’ ” —Motorist at Ealing. A complaint was made of a woman’s conduct at Shoreditch County Court. "You can’t change your wife like you can vein- socks,” was the husband’s

despairing com men t. Solicitor (at Maryleboiie County Court; : How are you conducting your case? Man: 1 have the facts plain enough, lint 1 cannot afford to have anyone to spread (hem out a hit for me. A woman was asked at Bow to say what her husband's occupation was. "lie's a ticket in the strike,” she explained. It appeared that the man was a dock strike picket, wearing a ticket.