NEWS BY MAIL.

Hokitika Guardian, 27 September 1923, Page 2

NEWS BY MAIL.

“Do you speak English ?” asked the Magistrate .Mr J. L. Stout, S.M., of a Chinese defendant at the Palmerston North Court (says the “Manawatu Times”). “1 dunno,” glihlv replied the Celestial.

“No fear. 1 won’t! the. wife says I must never go out at night again.” Such was the brief, but more or less effective remark, with which a Rnetih soldier met a request to stand for election to the committee of the Raetihi Iv.S.A.

“Yes, but if I saiil ‘yes' to a question like that it would mean a lot!” was the reply of Scottish witness, who exhibited all the cautiousness characteristic of his race in the Wellington ■Supreme Court recently. Evidently counsel though so. too. as he did not reply as lie resumed his seat.

The loss on soldier settlement had been variously estimated at from £-1.009.000 to £<->.000.009, but last session the estimate 'was reduced to £2,000,000. Mr Rolleston told his audience at Timaru (says the “Herald”), and he added the hope that the latest estimate would not prove too optimistic.

A well-known American .lournal has written to a New Zealander asking if he will contribute articles concerning this .part of the world (says the W airarapa. “Age”). The articles, says the letter, “may be written in English, il convenient.” Evidently the people of the United States are of opinion that. New Zealand possesses a distinctive language.

The State as a rule sells too cheap and buys too dear, said Mr Rolleston, M.E., in his post-sessional address at Timaru. when referring to the proposal to sell national endowment lands, to which he was strongly opposed (says the “Herald”). Mr Rolleston added that holders of l.i.p land would be very ill-advised if they attempted to convert their leases ini* freehold.

A judgment debtor in the court at Wanganui made a novel excuse. He stated that he was a joiner. He did a certain amount of work lor a solicitor and the latter paid him in dribs and drabs, and it took him a long time to get: the money out ol him. He lost discount on material through having to wait. The magistrate replied that the amount, was a small one. and thcic seemed to be just a little bit ol disinclination to pay on the part ol defendant.

“It is rather strange that these people carry on their trade with the Europeans and yet when they come hetc they don’t understand the English language,” remarked Air Rowdnn. the inspector of weights and measures, during the hearing of charges under the Weights and Measures Act. which were preferred against three Chinese vegetable hawkers at the Palmerston North Alagistrate’s Court (says the “Standard.”). “They understood me all right when 1 interviewed them,” .Killed the inspector amidst laugh let.

It was stated at the Te Awainutu Borough Council meeting by one councilor who is interested in timlier (says the "Waipa Post”), that he had lately repurchased from the State an area of standing timber, which lie had many years ago bought troni the Government a i about £sl), and tailed to ciit oi 10move. The land and timber reverted to the Crown, and though nothing had been done in the interim, he had had to pay more than three times as much to repurchase the area.

A woman presented herself al the door of a professional man. and. holding towards him a bulky parcel, announced that she wanted her dog “stuffed,” anil that the package contained the animal in question < relates the “Taranaki Herald."). Ihe professional man assured her that he did not “stuff” (logs, or. in tact, .'tay other animal. Ihe visitor became indignant. and demanded to know why people should he brought from the other end of the town on a tool’s errand. Finally she llmiiicefl out. only enlightening the object of her wrath as she passed down the street, muttering: “Calls Himself a chiropodist and don't stuff a dog. Some people are lull of swank.”

A good storv of the army was told by Colonel R. Henry on Saturday night in Tiinaru (relates the “Post”). I He was a sergeant-major of a British regiment,” the story-teller began, “and the regiment was ruled by the Colonel am! him— hut mostly him.” A\ bile strutting about the sergeant-major was given a very smart salute by a young man who was anxious to progress in the army. This warmed the old fellow's heart, hut had perforce to remark to the recruit that one holding the rank of sergeant-major was not entitled to such a distinction as tile salute conveyed. The would-!)!' soldier, by uo menus modp'ussed replied: “Oh any old tiling will do to practice on!”

“As one who loves a good horse, never misses a prize tight, and shouts himself hoarse to see New South AAales get a good whacking at football, and speaking not as one who is by no means a spoil-sport. I think there is too much pleasure in the life of our young people to-day.” declared the Rev. Jasper ('aider, in the course of an inspirational address at Auckland. “I do not sav there is too much joy in liie. but why should the youngsters, and I am speaking of those from school age on to 25 years, have to he spoon-fed in their jov, and have all their pleasure organised lor them? Surely they eon get a hit of fun for themselves in their own homes.”