THE COW CONDEMNED

Hokitika Guardian, 13 January 1920, Page 4

THE COW CONDEMNED

Tho cow is a quadruped, nearly square, encased in a hide devoid of hair; Two shapely horns adorn her head, ornamental, but things to dread. At her opposite end is affixed a tail, which on troublesome insects is used as a flaal. She carries an apparatus below, from which the lacteal fluid doth flow. Finally, she can lament or rejoice in an -upmteen horse-power foghorn voice.

Cow juice, •which as milk is commonly known has peculiar properties all it’s own. Infants hail it witli delight, imbibing bottlefuls fit sight: j’allid invalids mop it lip, gaining strength with every glassful or cup. Super milk, once known sis cream, is a thing off the past of which wte dream, A brand of milk, condensed in tins, is foisted upon us for our sins.

A dairyman is one who retails and vends his milk in pitchers and pails. Like a policeman ho lias a beat, and felines follow him in the street. Hjb delivers tho goods at his stately leisure, and seldom overflows the measure. > Sometimes being a thrifty chap, he alignments liis stock from the watertap. When taxed with this he will loudly vow that his sky-blue lotion is straight from tlio cow.

It used to be in days of old, that the price of milk was uncontrolled. Round about fourpenoe a quart it stood, and supplies were plentiful and good. , .... Now prices alas have gone up with a bound, and supplies are so scant they will scarce go round; Farmers along with dairymen swear that meagre profits ai(e all the shareTherefore, dear reader,’tis plain and clear, the cow herself is the profiteer CHAS. NESS.