CLINK HUMOUR.

Hokitika Guardian, 31 August 1918, Page 4

CLINK HUMOUR.

In one respect, at any rate, every soldier who goes to the military prison a second time profits by his first experience of “ clink.” He conceals about his person-generally in his month —a stump of lead pencil. This little slump has saved many a man from the madness of despair When everything else except a pocket handkerchief has been taken away, it has proved a thrice-blessed companion through many an hour of soulracking monotony". Ai d abundant testimony is available to show that solitude, instead of dulling the mental faculties of the sinning soldier, sharpens his wits and brings into play little-suspected powers of expression, fn “clink” as elsewhere, one finds evidence of the' unconquerable optimism of the British soldier. On the whitewashed walls of the cell the confined Tommy, with the aid of the priceless stump of pencil, expresses his views of life and matters generally. Some do it pictorially, others in prose, many others in verse, and not a few in clever French idioms. Could these “clink, thoughts” he collected from, say, a score of military prisons and published in book form the result would be a. work embracing pathos, tragedy, comedy, drama, philosophy". Solomon-like wisdom, biting sarcasm, and the shaking of i lie human note to an almost tearraising extent. Take one or two examples picked at random from the cell walls:

“ From this knot) (these words were written beneath a heavy bell handle) Private Blank hanged himself. He was a fool. Don’t you do the same. No sentence lasts for ever. Buck up and take your gruel like a man.” One can visualise a philosophical Tommy who has had a good time and is now paying for it in “clink,” lying on his foot-high had plank bed and soliloquising, and then rising and expressing his thoughts in the writing on the wall thus : "King David and King Solomon led rather naughty lives, They enjoyed themselves immensely with their concubines and wives But as old age came creeping o’er they experienced serious qualms, For King Solomon wrote the Pioverbs and King David wrote the Psalms

Expressed tersely, not far away one finds a poignant little human tragedy, the central character in which is a soldier who. after giving number, name, and regiment, -and length of service, says: “Came home after eighteen months Found wife sloped with a Russian. Got drunk. Went mad. Bashed two M.P.s (military policemen). Sentence 56 days. Marriage is a lottery ; I’ve drawn a blank, God knows! Happy is the chap who has drawn a prize.” The latter part of the sentence is so faint that it, can only he deciphered with difficulty, and one can well imagine how the point of the pencil had jvorn away, leaving the prisoner with no means of sharpening it and cutting short his hitter reflections. Even with the hard labour he had to perform one sinning Tommy found the atmosphere of “ clink ” restful after tossing on -what was evidently a tempestuous matrimonial sea. Ho has placed on record for future wrongdoers to see that in his opinion the place is a “ blinkin’ paradise, after twenty-three years of nagging by the woman I married.” And then he gives her fnil name, address, and occupation ! Some of the drawings to be seen are worthy of the name of art. The political opinions expressed are often shrewd, cryptic, and convincing. But the way the soldier in “clink” expresses himself concerning the officer or officers who passed sentence upon him, often accompanied by a crude pictorial representation of a clutching hand, is a subject best left to the imagination of the reader.