THE "SQWSER."

Hokitika Guardian, 25 August 1917, Page 4

THE "SQWSER."

“WOWSER’S” OPPOSITE

Wellington, August 22 • Cleverly adaptiug a section from' Billy Sunday’s whimsical s.ermons, Mr Isitt, who is cLuhbed a “wowser” by some of his fellow-mem-bers, turned the tables on them tonight with an elaborate, amusing definition of the opposite type to “ wowser,” which lie called _ a “ sowser.”' He intended, he said, to hammer away at the old note of the imperative need for economy. Four great sources of waste in New Zealand were drink, gambling, pleasure and display. Doubtless this would excite the intense indignation ot the “ sowsers.” Members looked up inquiringly ] at the mention of the strange word. Mr Isitt went on to interpret it. ] A “ sowser,” lie said, is a creature half-animal, half-man. He’s loyal, he loves his country, but loves his stomach better. He loves his country’s whisky and is known by his patriotic spurge. He pumps up, apparently from the region of Jus boots, utterances which seem a strange and inadequate return for all the physical; exercise involved. He’s a somewhat vain animal. If lie’s had a University education he is carried away by the fact and forgets you cannot make a silk purse out of a “ sowser.” (%°ud laughter.) A “ sowser ” is. implacable in his hatred of the “ wowser,” and eternally manifests, it by porcine ■ grunts of disapproval. He’s timid, : but sometimes, in his intense desire 1 to “ strafe ” his enemy, lie throws 1 all precautions to the winds. On those occasions the “ sowser ” quotes poetry—generally Burns, (daughter.) For years, concluded Mr Isitt smilingly, I’ve, allowed gibes and jeers to be fired off at the expense J of the “ wowser,” but it’s about time to show that even the worm like ( “ wowser” sometimes turns. (Rej newed laughter.)