SQUASHED

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 28, 4 December 1930, Page 10

SQUASHED

She (gushingly): Tell me. Profess r, what you think of my voice! jle (frankly): Well, madam, it reminds me of toothpaste. She: Er—toothpaste, Professor! He. Yes. You squeeze it and it comes j out flat. ' , WITHOUT MUSIO The young married couple were having a tiff while av.aiting lunch at a modest eating hou&e. "* : She, as usual, was grumbling because they, were, unable to afford the luxuries which had been a feature of their honey- . moon. :' . . * ' , ' ■ ■ - '.•■■": .•'' "All rights all right!" he 'returned. ?- rather sharply. "You can't have a brass buuri everywhere yon go." "Oh, yes, I cant** she returned cuttingly. "1 ye got it now— on my finger.' THE BETTER BET !Pourteen-year old Thomas had fallen. , into'the bad''habit of betting. lii the hope of curing the boy, his father and) uncle decided to make him lose by taking on any bets he proposed, which > they knew they would win. ' The following morning Thomas met his uncle on the landing. **I bet you sixpence you've got corns' said the boy. Uncle who knew that he was free from corns readily took the bet on. "But what proof can you give?" said Thomas. <' Easy,»» said the other. ■• 'J ll take off my shoes and socks and show that you're Wrong." Presently uncle's bare feet were exposed and Thomas gave him the sixpence , During the morning uncle met theboy'B father. . ' , **Our scheme's going fine," he said, and went on to explain how he had won sixpence from the boy. "And to prove that I was right," went on the uncle, "I took off my shoes and socks and showed him my bare feet." "What!" ejaculated the boy'a father. '' Whatever's the matterf'' asked the uncle. v '*Matter," murmured the other hollowly. "Only last night the boy bet me naJf a crowa he'd see your bare feet"