WAR STORIES

Hutt News, Volume 2, Issue 45, 17 April 1930, Page 5

WAR STORIES

Between Ecoust and Bullecourt in January, 1918, my platoon was passing a mine crater which was half-full of water when suddenly Jerry sent one over Six of our fellows were wounded, and one.of .them a Bow Road C6ckney, was hurled into the crater. • .' ;' "

He struggled to his feet and staggered -towards a pile of rubble that rose above the muddy water like an island. Arrived there, he sat down and looked round him in bewilderment.

Then "Blimey" h(B muttered "Ro binson Crusoe." ;

WILLIAM TELL TOLD OFF

It happenel on the Somme. '' Scrounger" Webb, obviously a real ripe Cockney, exposed) Ms head a trifle higher above,the^ parapet than was then consided^heaifhy^artd' an alert German sniper sent one over immediately which lucMly j only just grazed the centre front of i "Scrounger's" tin hat. On removing Ms helmet and seeing the dent, he remarked to 'his unseen, enemy, | "Nah, yen, William Tell, stop'that." FORETHOUGHT H.M. Q. ship 18 was sinking 60 miles off the French coast as the result of gunfire after destroying a German submarine. ..; -■";■ :; ; :/' \^::" ■'. ,:.''. • After getting away-we had a hurriea callover -and found that a Cockney fireman was missing. We hailed the ship wliich seemed about to take the plunge any minute, and at last the stoker appeared, spotlessly clean and dressed in "ducks." . He had to jump anai swim -£6r it. As w° hauled him to our boat we asked liiin ' why lie had waited to clean Mmself. "Well" he explained, "if I am going to hell there's no ned to let the I blighter know I'm a .stoker." LOGIC Fritz had been knocking our wire about and a party of us were detailed to repair it. One of the party, a tri_« more windy than the rest, kept ducking . at the stray bullets that were whistling ;■ by. Finally 'Erb, who was holding the coil of wire said to him, "Can'ft yer ■ stop that bobbin' abaht? They won't lit yer, unless they 'its yer."" BITTER MEMORIES During an attack nean B^er-sheba, Palestine, our regiment had been without water for over 24 hours. We were suffering very badly, as the heat was intense. Most of us had swollen tongues and lips, and could hardly speak, but the company humorist, "a Cockney, was able to mutter, "Don't it make you mad to fink of the times you left the barf tap inimingr' . . HIS Just befor* our big push in August, 1918, were resting in " Tank- Wood.'' The :p]ace was dotted with site- holes^ one of wMch was filled with rather clean waterj evidently from a nearby spring. A board at the edge of tMs hole bore the word "Mine" so we gave it a wide berth. ... ■ I Imagine our surprise when later we: saw "Tich," a lad from the Old Kent] Road, bathing in the water. One of our I men yelled, '.'Hi, Tich, cam't yer readfj

"Yes," replied <fTich," "3pn rt yer fink a bloke can read 'is own writiiigT"