FUN AND FANCY

Hutt News, Volume 2, Issue 36, 13 February 1930, Page 11

FUN AND FANCY

PROGRESSING . . ■ ' * .. " A beginner at golf when how he eanie out oij. the first day on the. links Teplied .that he made it La eighty. »" "Eighty!" ejaculated . his - friend). ■'-.' That>?s really remarkable. 'Most oldtimers .-"would..envy you with that score. -You'll1 surely''be an .enthusiast from now on?" -■■", • '.'' Yes, .*' said the • novice eondeseend-- • iagly."' "I'm going back to-morrow to the jseeond hole.? [ . r. , " SOMETHING LEFT. , - > :/■ ■ The >g} ipuVer v was complaining about, his bad luck. \ . - ; <fJ'h Jonah and Job rolled into one" .he said, ''only I don.'t happenvfco pos3dss -the. patience of 3db. J} -. - c 'Never mind, old man, '' said his only friend, "you've still got Jonah's wail. -J SCARCELY ..ACCURATE. ::| t - _ The golfing novice finished, his . first 'game and airily handed his score card 'to the seerejtary with- the remark,' < '.Two belo'wbpgey." - ; • -' ."".". The novice looked'hurt. .' ~t' t Compare the" score, "he said, c i witK ■ the qn the card and you'll see— ■'■* But "protested the official, is nowhere, near bogey!" J . ; ' .The seci'etary .looked. ■■■'■,:. .'_'. l Great Scot, man"-he roareclij' *iihat 7s the length of the course in yards. AN EASY FIRST. A little boy was always getting punished at school for talking. At the end of the session tlie ; teacher

sent a report to the fattier,, and added as a postscript:, 'Tommy talks a great (le-4:>? .. ■"■ ; . . " . ■ In Give time the report-was returned was written: "You ought ,to.hear his mother." SHE SAW; HE SAW • /. ' VDid you see that pile' of wood in the yards?" said/the lafdy.to the tramp. t - MYeSj I seen it," said'the tramp. ► *' You mean you saw ''.it,*'' said the 'lady... -..".;-•. ":,/.",/ v.'/;/■.•■ ~: ':; ■•. •"-._■■ .'"No mam," said the:tramp. "You saw me see it; but you .won't see me saw .it." " .-;- ■ ' .■• ;/.. ;;:'-.. • /.,.. HIS FANCY NAME " ■ . ' A fancy-dress/ball was held in a High-. land shooting lodge. To it were the residents of all -the shooting boxes for miles around. Two brothers arrived, one in a gorgeous French costume , and/ the other (who 'haa travelled from London thai day and lost his luggage) in plus-fours. ! The butler, wishing to announce the names of the characters they represented' asked \who they were. . ■' . '~ "Oh said the magnificent young man "I'm Louis the Fourteenth!" "And I," chipped in his brother, "am October the Twelfth." WHAT-IS A BOY! A correspondent sent to an American paper this answer ,to the above question: — ■~ - ' ; : .'. " . "He is a person who is going to carry, on what you have started. , v"He is going to sit where you. are sitting and/when you are gone, attend to those things you think are so import-' ant..'; : • -..■.,... ■.■ ■- ";, /"You can adopt, all the policies you please, but how they.will be.carried out depends upon! Turn. , ' »• , •■.-." Even if you make leagues and treaties, he, will have to manage/them. ' .. "He'wiir assume' .control Of your cities, states, arid nation. is. gding to* move ia, -and take over. youi'pHsons; churches, schools, universities and "corporations^ -,-.■'. « ,-" All" your work- is' going to? be judged and p"raised or condemned by hinv ' c Your . reputatioß. and your future are in^iiis hands. ■■•.'* ■/. '^ All> your work is for' him and the fate of the nations andi'of .humanity is in his hands.----"So it "might be"as well to. pay him r some attention." ', THE BIi&HT NAME. ' ' Husband (hearing the latest crash from':the kitchen): "I think w.e. ought to call that maid ojt our '' Dawn." '.' | Wife: "■Wh/f" , ■'•■'■,■ - " Husband:, "Because there isn^t a day •fchat she doesn't break." ~ v