JOKELETS

Hutt News, Volume 1, Issue 13, 23 September 1927, Page 8

JOKELETS

BARRED Judge: "Have you ever seen the prisoner at the bar?" Witness: "Never, your Honor. But I've seen him when he's come away from it, staggering something awful." * * * Mother: "Dicky, why didn't you tell me it was nurse who broke the jug?" Dicky: "She bribed me not to, Mummie." Mother: "How ? " Dicky: "She didn't wash me for two days!" + * * Bridegroom: "I wish I'd known that tunnel was going to be as long as that—l'd have kissed you." Bride: "George!—w-wasn't it you who kissed me V " * * * Betty: "How old would you say she was?" Jill: "Just depends whom I was saying it to." * * * A DIFFICULT GUEST A man was taking dinner at the home of a friend. The dinner consisted chiefly of hash, and on being ottered some he refused. The host, not wishing to see his guest go hungry, insisted that he take some. Upon that tne guest replied that he never ate hash, not even at home. "Why is that?" asked the host. "Well,' answered the other, "I never eat it at home because I know what's in it, and I don't eat it away from home because I don't know what's in it." * * * WORKS "Does your man work, Mrs. Waggs?" "Oh, yes; he peddles balloons whenever there's a parade in town. What does your husband do?" "He sells smoked glasses during eclipses of the sun." * * * THE CULPRIT "How long have you been with the firs?" "Forty years and o'er," Answered the ancient clei'k, Hope in his eyes once more. Then the new boss hissed, "I have Suspected it before— 'Tis you, no doubt, have made These inkstains on the floor.!" * * THE "PIRATE" Jones was helping to locate the cause of poor reception on Smith's valve set. "Funny," he said, "connections all right, batteries working well; everything else seems 0.X.; must be a leakage somewhere. Perhaps it's your dog." "Dog! What can he have to do with it?" "Well, I see he's a wire-haired 'un!" * * * THE SMALL BOY AGAIN. A clergyman with a very large nose was invited to tea with a lady who had a talkative child. The mother warned the child several times not to pass any rude remarks during tea. The boy's eyes' were fixed on the clergyman's face so long that the mother frowned on the child, whereupon he shouted: "It's all right, mother, I'm not going to say anything; I in only looking at it." * ♦ ♦ The Summer Boarders' Constant Cry: "Have you much variety in your boarding-house?" "Yes, we have three different names for the meals." * * ♦ Insurance Agent: "Pardon me, madam, but what is your age?" Miss1 Antique: "I have seen 23 summers." Insurance Agent: "Yes, of course; but how many times have you seen them?"