JOKELETS

Hutt News, Volume 1, Issue 4, 20 May 1927, Page 6

JOKELETS

WHAT OFFERS? The scene was the road to Epsom, and a cheapjack was plying his trade. "Charnce of a lifetime!" he cried. And the spectators flocked round him. "'Ere you are!" he shoutetd. "A real crokerdile purse, jest the thing to 'old yer winnings; and a safety-razor, wot cuts like a bloomin' grass-mower; and a key-ring; and a real pig-skin collar box! The 'ole lot fer two bob! There's a bargain for yer!" "Say, mate," shouted someone, "couldn't you chuck in a race-orse?" The cheapjack replied witheringly: "A race-'orse? I'll do betten'n that!" he shouted. "I'll add a stud!" * * * GETTING THE BEST OF IT A certain author, like many another, was paid so much a column. To spin out the guineas, he introduced long stretches of dialogues, such as: "You here?" "Yes, and why not?" "Well, but I " "But what?"— only in tabular form. The editor at last remonstrated, and told him that in future he would be paid by the number of words. The author wasn't at all upset. In his next instalment he introduced three new characters, each with a stutter! * * * WRONG Judge (to prospective juryman): "So you've formed an opinion of the case?" P.J.: "Yes, your Honor, one look at that man convinced me he was guilty." Judge: "Heavens! Man, that's the prosecuting attorney!"