A Birth By Order

Horowhenua Chronicle, 6 January 1917, Page 3

A Birth By Order

♦ UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR I' iiOJu AYIVES OF OUR SOLDIERS. Difficulties which tho military authorities experience in deciding the merits of individual claims to Army separation allowances were illustrated at London Mansion House. ' The Lord Mayor, presiding at a luncheon given to officers of the Territorial Association, quoted a number of letters which, he said, were types of those frequent*ly ref-cived oil behalf of applicants claiming separation allowances. Their rtx-.ital causcd considerable laughter. Here arc some ol them: Dear Sir, — I write these few lines for Mrs , who cannot write herself. She is expecting to be eonlined, and can do with it. Dear Sir,. —In accordance with instructions on the ring paper "I liave given birlh to a daughter on October Dear Sir,—You have changed mv little boy into a, iitl-le girl. AVill it make any difference? ■ Dear Sir, My husband, Jiill, has been put in charge of a spittoon. Shall I get any more payP Sir.—AVill you please send me my money as soon as possible, as .1 ait! walking about Bolton like a dating ed pauper. Sir, —My huband has joined the Army. I shall be glad if yen will send his elopement money.