Feeling Glum ?

Horowhenua Chronicle, 1 December 1916, Page 3

Feeling Glum ?

» , An Irishman coming from the old country: was leaning agaist the rail ol the ship wrapped in deep thought. Tli< ship was just rounding Sandy ilool when the stillness K>f the late afternoor was broke by the terrific boom of £ cannon. Pat, in a fright, turned t( the officer in charge, and asked "Pliwat was that?" The officer replied: "Sundown." After a few moments of thought Pa turned to the officer and remarked "Well, begorra, the sun goes down wic a divil of a crash in tit s country." An old lady who was paying her first visit to a picture theatre gazed in silent awe at the wonders on the screen. She could scarcely believe the evidence of her eyes. These things were real—they were actually ' happening 1 She stared with astonishment as miracle succeeded miracle. Then a motor car appeared on the screen, coming into sight in the distance, and racing along a country road at about a mile a minute, straight out of the picture at the audience. Catastrophe seemed' inevitable, and sho ' shrank back in her .-:eat. Then, just at the critical moment, i.t swerved asido and dashed out of sight. The old lady rose firmly to her feet, ignoring the protests of those behind her. "Come along, Amelia!" she said to a youthful niece. "It a'n't safe here! That thing only missed me by a few feet!"

The cook cn the ship had fallen overboard. The only one of the crew who had noticed him rushed up to an officer to inform him ot" the fact, but ho stammered! so much that the officer turned away in disgust. He went to another officer, but with the like result. In despair he tried a third one and this time the officer said: "Well, man, if .you can't say it, sing it" "•Should old acquaintance be forgot. and never brought to miniT? Our dear old cook fell overboard, and is now two miles behindi." The brothers Eckstein were being I | entertained by one who was anxious to avail himself of their financial acumen. But, as ill-luck would have it, the talk to other things. "Do you like Omar Khayyam?" thoughtlessly asked the host, trying to make conversation. It was the elder bro tlier who plunged "herociallyi linto the breach. "Pretty well," he said, "but I prefer chianti." Nothing more was said until the } Ecksteins were on their way home. •'lkey," said Abe, breaking a painful silence, "why can't you leave things you don't understand to me? Omar KI my yam ain't a wine, you chump; it's ahecse."