More or Less Funny

Horowhenua Chronicle, 10 August 1916, Page 3

More or Less Funny

A PICTORIAL DIFFICULTY. One morning Mrs Mallony noticed that a picture of tlie leaning tower of Pisa that hung in the drawing-room was not straight. She straightened it, and said nothing of the matter to the servant, who had evidently moved it while dusting. The next day the picture was again tuted to one side.

"Jane," she 6«id to the maid, who chanced to be in the room, "that picture of the tower is not straight. Just look at itl" "That'g what I say, m'm!" said the domestic. "Look ait 1 The only way I can get that old tower to hang straight is to hang the picture crooked I" .DESCRIPTIVE 'li'jRMS. A motorist who had a mishap on n flinty Norfolk road, and was underneath the car executing r©pains wlien a rustic came along, and after star ing vacantly at tho car walked round it slowly several times. ''"Well, my man, don't you know whut this is?" the motorist asked sharply. "fTs a .motor car," said tho rustic. "Not at all, my man!" snapped the owner. It ti aji automobile." The rustic still stood staring. At length lie said, "Oi say guvnor! D'you know what this is oil niy shoulderP" It's a sCythe, of course!" was the reply. Oh, no, it ain't!" said the rustic. "It's an ought-ffo-nidw-graes, but it won't!" THE TACITURN AMERICAN. \

Two travellers in ulaho u ad driven for two hours without meeting a human being, when they came in sigJit of a cabin in a clearing. The hogs lay sleeping in the sun, a thin mule gazed round and round in a circle, to save the trouble of walking, and one thin man leaned against a tree and let time roll by. "Wonder if he can speak r"' said one traveller to the other. "Try him," said the compni«°n. "flow do you do?" . aid bhc traveller. "Howdy?" said the tVn man languidly. "P] eilsant col , Dtrv "r them that likes it." "Lived here all your life » The thin ma., looked, pensively at the questioner. h t . gaid.

HUR.T HIS FEELINGS. Litwate, the butcher, had been verv busy for a f ew moments with ji weliknown dictionary. Suddenly he cloeod with a snap and -lowered at his wife in the cash desk. "That Mrs .Smart® its getting 100 clever,'' he growled. "What's the matter?" a ,«kedi the goo.l lady surprised at this criticism ot ;>. good customer. "When she came in just now she told rm- that I ought to rename ;.iy scales the Ambuscade brand." "Well, why ?" "f'v,. just looked up (he word." went on the infuriated man, ".un!. t! ,• dictionary says that imhu-cade means 'to lie in weight.'"