Varieties

Horowhenua Chronicle, 15 June 1916, Page 3

Varieties

i Mother: "Ethel, i don't like the way ! you and Alfred lean over the front /gate every evening." Ethel: "Well, as to that, there's a gretat deal to be said on both sides 1" "Won't your mother be mad when she sees how you tore your clothes j" "1 guess not so very. Ma'll have 'ots of fun huntin' up cloth to match andi putt in' in a patch so people can hardly notice it." He: "I shall never marry until jmeet a woman who is my direct opposite." She (encouragingly )~J "Well, my friend there are numbers of bright, iitelligent girls in this neighbourhood." Magistrate: "And so you sacrificed name, honour, future, freedom for the sake of two miserable shillingsF" Thief: "Right you are, your \Vorship. 3ni what was Ito do? There was not any more in the safe." Kitty: "Jack told me last nig&t that I was the prettiest girl he had ever seen." Ethel: "Oh, that's nothing; he said the same to me a year ago." Kitty: "I know that, but as me grows older one's taste improve* you know." She: "No, George, I afraid 1 ! cannot marry you. I want a man who •possesses a noble ambition; whose heart is set on obtaining some high andi worthy object." "Well, don't I want you?" She: "Oh, George, I am yours I" An Irishman had just landed in .New York, and as he made his way -rim the docks ho came upon a street fight. Going over to the nearest policemun, Pat asked: "Will ye kindly tell me, sor, is this a friendly fight, or can anyone join inP" >