JOB UNKNOWN

Horowhenua Chronicle, 13 May 1916, Page 3

JOB UNKNOWN

A KJSOJTAIIOiW tor Iho Chrouiclw). In Inveruete or some such other piace, There lived a man oomo of tho Scottish race, Yet named so strangely in a way was ho That scarce a son of Scotia could agree To deem him aught but Semite; For 'lis name Job jU.-ha.bodi O'Reilly smacked that same— Which phrase reminds mo that the surname grew Across the Irish Sea ere Sootia knew The giant causeway had been 'wheliUHl 'neath -waves That left their Highlands free irom wadiing braves. O'Reifly primus lived, and laughed andi died— And many others or fiis lino beside— They tinctured Scotland with tlvjir pawky jests,

Matched Scottish crotchets with Hibernian rests; On Irish pij>os played accidental ai r That fiilcd their Scottish neighbours with despair; Till came a day when hundred pipers two Their hardest for.Old Caledonia blew On blethers keyed to such discordant note That every Irish callant straightway smote His pipes with bludgeon till they sang no more, Then swam in dudgeon to his native shore. But one O'Beilly failed to join *he rest— His deafness saved Him from the torture test— Alas, h® saved/ on Caledonia's shore. And lived to rue His choice for evermore ; At least he should have rued it; to tell The truth, his case em proved 'ioes passing well On either side, both yea and nay agree; With tongue in cheek and tear in eye went he; And 1 all confessed his Irish wit shone slyly "When ho became Jr»l> Tchabod O'Reilly As testimony of his grief, deep-heart ad. That with his kinsmen ltf had not :lopart«d{ And placed entail upon his hat nd lamd """""" That every eldest son sliouVl hear the brand "Job Tehabod!," nor ever look rmkarv-r. On pain of instant disinheritance. And so until this day tho name urviVes And modern whimsies utock O'Reilly's hives. I

In 1900—so tliio story goes— Job icliabod O'lledly'e lame arose In Glasgow Uity, where- the beer rune biwn, And fifteen tankards cost but half a crown; Where whisky reeks not ot the smoKe, and' prime Old vrino and brandy run the whute year's time; And every nose with erubeeceut ray ■Defies the winds that hurtle o'er the bay; \\ hero men from (Jreenoch and the Urig of Weir Drift daily in, disguised in local beer, To earn tetime the wherewithal f<>" mora Anibroeial liquor served at half-past four, Or other time that suits those folk wTwwe Wend Tends always to a biting liquid end. 'Twos here Joh Ichahod O'Reilly stayedi, And plied bertime his earliest forbear's trade Of piping,—in the rrtyle of later days— For Job piped beer instead of piping lays. Yet though he circled daily roundi the cask He never raised a pot, and none could ask AVhy walks O'HeilV with a rolling gait f Nor why his speech seemed siiddeily elate. 2. In Glasgow town, diespite its vin>us ways, Good Tennplar lodges flourish like green bays; In Glasgow town, despite a world-wide lie, The Jews still lire, and thrive, as well as die; They have their jocund days as weM as

Each gets his own, and always foots his biU; Though Mime waste cash, earon«'ng cheek by v*A, The many shun far aye the flowing There gathers weekly, when the day runs The Rechah. Lodge of Zion's exiled Bonn. 9. " . (.hie ''pound night," 'midsit the s»micheerful din, Job Icliabodl O'Reilly handed in llis name for membership; the "Worthy Ghii« Questioned the lodgo, the words were swift and brief; "With such cognomen, how could fellow laii? What eon of Israel at Job would raiii The new-made brother, maugro his sad trade. Drank all litis comrades' health in lem-1 onudo, And pledged lids word that he would prove a sticker .For all Good! Tonrpdar rights, and (worn such "shicker," As whisky, eider, gin. or other healy liquor. UnVike cough mixtures "Nazol" goes direct to the seat off the trouble and quickly soothes and relieves. No coid is "Nazol" proof. 60 doses Is 6d. Advt.

He ran his course troni "outside'' guard to "in"; He euunned the fluid that with daily din He clasped l and cared for, and with settledl pim Sent out to meet the needs at' fellow man; And when tho lodgomen grievetf abou, iiis case He gencty viewed uiom with a g a y grimaoe And softly asked- tne one with deeposi. coffer If he'll a better job that lie could offer. Hut tor the first O'lleiiiy s whimsy vein My tale nad lacked the dKniax it may ga in; iSteo had tho Job of 190J been i'or ever steadfast in hie Bober miem; And desolation had not come to stay Amongst the Rechab. Lodge out Glasgow way. A joking turn the lihst, O ißeilfy knew; The latest one inclined that same unio ; The first upon the latest thrust his name; i Tho lat,c?6t 'whelmed his lodge in last- | ing shame, By thrusting on their palate, unbeknown, A potent liquor held in jars of stone. 5. It was tho "poitndi night" of the hogmanay, And all the lodge was gathered', to display In simple fashion for each other's pleasure The sober joy that templars deareet treasure. f-'o Sister Blue recited; Blancstain »ang; Vertz pla.vcd the harp; the roof with cheering rang; They hear how HaTins the flowing bowl turned! down And bought his child new boots; how Snizzlevown Tripped o'er hir shadow while pursir.ig beer, And traveller] forty yards upon his ear; Of horrors that tho drunkard dreams, while w« Enjoy our placid slumbers; how the bee Gathers its honey 'gainst the winter's wind; Nor feans tße"waspish death that drunkards find; Till in his choir the slrok Chief Templar roe® The health of Joib O'Reilly to propose; The chief sipoke earnestly, and prai?ed

him highly; They all drank d«vp th.<* liquor of o'T?oil]v. 0. 'Twas usquebaugh disguised in cloves and spices; 'Twas sweet in taste, though fiery in its beading; Iho brothers liked its tang *o weid that ioes And headache wafers next alt day were needing; Hut ere next day arrived some now devices fßantis' arguments, and twa three noses bleeding) W'ere tried for entertainment oi Good Templars TTho proved for once a Bet ot sad exemplars. 7. When tlic light hand supporter had drunk two, And the assistant secretary four, Healths to the brotherhood, their bibs looked blueSeen in a vinous light; and mid the roar Of inside guard, in protest, as he tiew To save a brother dragged across the floor, The lodge from harmony was reresolved. To have the riotous enigma solved. 3. Til.' Chief proposed: "-lob lehab'vd. "Reilly "From Tempinry be ostracised forth- i "with "Though one and all till late lad "prized him Highly, "And given hiin the of Rechab's "kith; •'They scarcely could conceive he'd "prove bo wily, "But facts were facts, and faith a present myth." The ostracism passed without a note Of protest 'mongst the hrotti jrs ■who could vote.

Job IcHabod O'Reffly still obtains At Glasgow's brewery, and Hoops the the casks; From cidler, whisky, beer, he still abstains, An«l chortles gaily as he does his tacks; But in the summer's suns or winter 5 raina Of liim the lodge's password no one asks; In pothotißo circles now is tumid his fame, And every brother counts it to his shame. —G. l»r BROWN. Levin, May 3, 1916.