"ALL, FOR SIXPENCE" THE HUMOUR OF THE THE EIGHTTEENTH CENTURY.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 25 March 1916, Page 2

"ALL, FOR SIXPENCE" THE HUMOUR OF THE THE EIGHTTEENTH CENTURY.

lii Auckland- last week a Chronicle .vpivsoiitative picked up lor sixpence, a a secondhand bookstall, a hundred year old Book ot Recitations. It lias ii it many niiliomely phrases jhat would shock tlie ears of Mr. BaI'ci'ts a-ndt other judges ot elocution in Jiose days, but apart from its "broadiess' it has many queer and entertainng passages amongst a welter of less ,'iuertaining matter that pa-ssed lor yue humour wth otir great grandfather s. A fair sample of the middling ■tuff iii' tlio book is THE TWO MISERS. Two neighbouring gentlemen of equai lor tune, and remarka.ble for tilieir .ivariee, were distinguished ill their parish by the names ot Ci'ibb , and btarvegut. .Sir. Cribb often visitod iii.s neighbour, and wag. as often visited by him, but as they liadi botii tihe same ( iid in view, they "never asked each other to eat or drink; and they jLV-ent . 011 together very amicably, till bb one day was present at liis friend's w hen a man came to pay the interest uT "a thousand pounds, which raised Cribb'.s envy so much .that lie left the room and went home ;>but returned in the cveiling to -Mr. Starvegut, in order to learn seme ot his saving maxims, when Cribb cailie m, lie found mm writing a letter by a farthing candle; be was 110 sooner sat down thorn Mr. iSbarregnt put it out. "How now!' 1 says Oiibb. "wiia-t'fi that forP" To which iStarvegut replied, "Oa-nnot we two talk as well in the dark?" •'faith, neighbour," says Cribb, "you are an excellent economist ; I wish yo 1 would teach me some 01 .your ruled.

"Why, friend," says Starvegut, "one of my c*liie-i maxims is never to spent moro than is figgegsury; witless th* i-andte."' jUiglit!" quoth Oribb. _ I remember, says Starvegut, "the saying oi ar old pliili sopher, which ougtift to mo wrote in , letters of gold—namely, ?n;u whatever is unnecessary is aea<.* at a farthing." "Right," ouotli L'riUh, "thank yon neighbour, egau t'il set' this down." "'Now we aro calking oT saving," says Starvjgun "lot me ask you one question) for you must know there is a groat cfifference between being covetous anl toing saving; for my part, there's nothing l hate _moro than a stingy man ; but to my question,—"Pray, friend Crihb, do von shave yourself?" Quotli Crihb, "What, do you take me for a fool?" s> Well," sajjs Starvegut, "do not be' in a passion ;I did but ask. But what to you do with your lather?" "Winy, iiiug it away." sav.s Crib!); "what do you think?" "Why. tliere it is now." says Starvegut, "that is enough to ruin a man: why. .1 ahvavs wasli half a dozen handkerchiefs and a nightcap in mine, and then save it to wash iiiv stockingsP