A Square Mystery

Horowhenua Chronicle, 10 March 1916, Page 2

A Square Mystery

LOUD EXl'LOrilOiN. ■Last evening the editorial retreat of the "limes" had its usual solemnity disturbed by violent ringing oi tne telephone. The voices on the wire insistently enquired it the staff had heard a big explosion 111 the Square. Not once, hut two or three times anxious citizens 'asiied of the disastrous noise that seemedi to emanate from the centre ot tlie town. At first the staff were inclined to think it was all an illusion ol a brain charged van. the gruesome detail ol tlie war cables. Then it was opined that it might be the Kairaiiga River Board "straliing' the Mayor, or the '"blowing out" ol the voluntary system, out the night being dark and propitious to aerial raids, it was at length decided to sei:d out tho office boy's understudy to investigate. He returned two hours jateiwith an ice cream, half ft cigarette, a liottle of fizz, and a dead frog on which he had evidently performed an autopsy. He had made a thorough inspection of the Square and its environs, had visited lour picture theatres and a "pub' ; on the press ticket, and had interviewed leading citizens, taxicab dri\ ers an.l amorous couples b.v the dark pond side. All' 'declared! that they had not heard a sound. One individual who had only broken his vigil on the cab stand once in six hours, and then only under the imperative call of thirst, gave to the Nthpower to mathematical uncertainties oi such an explosion having taken place in his absence, and suggested that it might have been caused by the bursting of a brain storm in the miiul oi a city father trying to reckon the incidence on poetenty ot the cost ol the new gas retort. Finally the bruStiaxit youth found his way back to tne office laden with copy and the frog, which he held up with evident delectation as the solution of the "Dark Square" mystery, and with quivering voice related that, thinking the night ideal for a murder or a suicide ne had wandered on to the fountain, hoping to find its concrete steps bloodstained and the wretched, suicide walijwing at its base. Instead he ha'* found the frog, still and dead. In the dim light of an adjacent street lamp he had performed the post mortem with the aid oi the publisher's knife, and discovered that the interest'Jg but unfortunate biologicajl specimen had unwittingly swallowed the five loading questions in the Moderate League's letter to Mr Allen—and had croaked 111 —Manawatu Times.