"Limericks"

Horowhenua Chronicle, 24 December 1915, Page 2

"Limericks"

O.N VAKIOUS THEMKS. (Written for Tlie Chronicle). The making of limericks is easy; bits the trouble comes when one tries to make them ol' good quality. "The tatal facility" said, to attac'n to the use of the .eight-syllable couplet k nifti'iing to the easiness of descent into jingling prose that besets the seeker after .success as a linierick-niaker. The several snetTincns" of this writer's endeavours %ero following are submitted with this explanation, to disarm criticism in the captious and in the, ho|>:: that the jingles will amuse ssonie 'Ji The,, Chronicle's readers. first example needs a special apology, for the last line "tumbles down to prose" in actual form; but the unusual nature o l .' the incident therein depicted may be deemed sufficient reason for the innovation. A Tuimble into l'rose. •■ A fellow whose temper was nasty Assaulted his wife wfuh a pasty Tlmt lately she'd cooked And the jury that looked Oi. the victim's remains and the stiii unbroken pasty returned a verdict of "justiliaible homicide."

Why Sam kept roor. How sad is the tali? oi Sam h'loozii: \Vho never made wealth but he'd loo*o , it. . ' Uo used up Jiik brains Planning wonderful gains;. JJut fitch separate shilling—he'd booze it! And Charles Walked Queerly. Charles Antimacassar McShane Jvrank wliisky to moisten his brain, To siicli an extent . That wherever he went He 'witnessed a rolling terrain. "J u sti fia'b le Ass a u It. JJo whistled all over his section, And Haunted objectors invection; When he started to sing An axe they did bring— What followed i l'eave to oonjet'tiim Kereru Grass.

A Kereru farmer one day (lot lost in his paddock of hay: So quickly it grew lire the .searchers broke throiigu The poor man had mouldered away!

"He Died -with his Music in .Him. The man who was singing for fun Left off with his ditty half-done As soon as he heard That his neighbours averred Their chorus would come from a gun. White Jap and Black Wallaroo. Ail emigrant Hairy Ainu Located at Bunnainagoo With frenzy grow bald When he hoard himself called Albino Japan AValkroo. Milk and Water. A milkman, with conscience at rest, Was crossing the Ohau out west. His milk cans fell in,— And I'm sure you will grin When you road that this bettered \v? "test!" ■■. (S.P.L\ Levin, Dceembor 22. 1915.