Talks With Tom

Horowhenua Chronicle, 9 December 1915, Page 3

Talks With Tom

INCIDENTS AT THE OItI&TAL rALACK MOT'UU o-tiuu. (Written lor Ine Chronicle.; "I'oits.month to London .s 8-1 miles, tile return excursion lare -■*», the journey uikcs one and turee-quarter hours, and llie tram is packed witn country visitois to the metropolis, or the motor show at yydeiuuun. "A follow passenger uound tor the show enquired it it was a lact London was alive with thieve;?, an ready lo rob thv) man irom the country. I toid 'him it might be so, but 1 had, not run across them. "Oh, uut you oe a townie, and tliev woukunot touch you, lie exclaimed. ".My advice was to Keep sober, ai.u not nuiKe a display ot lus money, ana .1 had no fear that lie would coma through safely. 'Don t you troubie about me, mister. j. have only taken one smiling to pay my way in, as i ve heard all about they.'

"As an act of courtesy l promised to see him through the turnstile. ifie interior of the Palace- was packed with motor cars, manufactured in England, France, Germany and America, ranging m price from 70 guineas to J'J'H) guineas. I was surprised at the good value of some of the low-priced cars, and alter inspecting and Having all tlr. good points explained i carried away a fiamilul of advertising matter to peruse on the return journey. My attention was drawn to an overcoat 'Price BO guineas,' the attendant assured me it was a good coat." 1 looked ai the motor car lor /U guineas uno then tlie coat lor 80 guineas, and won tiered where was tlie vaJue in the ooai.

He then asked if I was wanting a coal of that description. "I am looking foi something a bit better,' was my reply, and he at once became most attentive, and business-like, and promised to have a very fine 'skuiik' coat down for u.* inspection in about au hour from thei. Regent-street branch. lie evidently took me lor a millionaire, so x promised to return later in the day, but unfortunately forgot to do so. ."Passing along, 1 stooo admiring a lot of wax figures seated in motor car.-, and dressed in all the latest moto, wear lor ladies, but it was the life-like appearance of some of tnese 'wax' figures that cuflsed- me to make a closu examination. I touched one on the hand and another on the arm, but they were ootli inanimate. I stood looking into the face of one and said '1 could swear you were alive.' Ihat was too much fo.r 'that particular figure, t sinipiy scj^tjicd-with laughter, and i bolted of its sight. I can assure yj? 1 am not now on speaking terms with wax Figures, whether they are seated iu motor cars, or on view in Madame Tussauds.

"l>n my return to the railway platform 1 again encountered my friend ot the up journeVj ivho, with a doleful countenance, informed me that he was now quite satisfied that London must be 'chockful of thieves, as. he had paid his only shilling to gain adinrission, and had by accident, passed through the wrong door, and found himself outside, and the person 011 tho cfdor would not allow him to re-enter without thd payment of another shilling) which, unfortunately, he did not possess.

'-'I sympathised with him and him to (bring two shillings next timo he came to town, but when 1 told hinj that I had met a worse late, and had also been robbed—robbed of my com- \ posure, and by a "woman, too, wbo wag v seated in a motor posing as u wax-figure he indulged 411 a real boisterous old country laugh that ho kopt going until he reached his destination w'h'oll He shook hands and parte 1. He laughed again and called jn at the carriage window as the train was moving out, 'And von be a Townie, too. Ha ha ha!'"' . '