Good Stories From The Magazines.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 28 May 1915, Page 2

Good Stories From The Magazines.

A catalogue of farming implements sent out by the manufacturer nally found its way to a remote rural village, where it was evidently welcomed with interest. The firm received » carefully written, if somewhat clumsily expressed, letter, asking further particulars about one of the articlee advertised. To this, in the usual course of business, was eent a type-written answer. Almost- by return of poet came a reply: "You need not print your letters to me. I can read writhing."—The Windsor Magazine; • •••••• The schoolmaster wanted to know whether the boys had an understanding of the functions of a British Consulate. "Supposing," he began, framing hip question in the likeliest way to arouse the interest of His hearers, "someone took you u pin an aeroplane and after a long, exciting flight, dropped yew down thousands of miles trom 'home in a country quite foreign, what plaet'" would you seek put first of allP" Atf eager hand was inetantly uplifted.l "Well, Willie, what do you aaylPj*' "Please, sir, the hospital."—The Cfrganist and Choirmaster. / ' ******* A family which had only come into great wealth bought a country estate. One day at a„ tion the wife was telling of the purchase. "It's all so interesting, she gushed, "We're to nave our own cattle and horses and pigs and lieia "Oh, TiensP" interruptedanother guest; "and they'll lay fresh oggs for you!" "I don't know," waa the frigid - response. "Or course our hens can work if they want to, but situated as we are, it really won't b| necessary."—The flrand Magazine. • •••••• In a country school the teacher waa trying to moke the lesson as interesting as possible to her -class of little ones. "Now, children," aha said, "you've named all the domestic animals but one. Who can tell us. what that one is?" There was no reply. "What!" exclaimed the teacher. "Dofca 110 one know F What animal has bristly hair, is dirty all the time and laves getting into the mud?" A small boy raised a timid hand "Well, Allan," said the teacher, "tell us what it is." "Please ma'am." said the boy .reflectively, "it's me."—The iiairns' Maga- \ ziuo • •••••• "Please may I keep my book till . Monday?" asked the small voice of a small boy the other day over the tall counter of a London public library. "Why do you want to-keep it"P" tBB librarian. "Because I 'aint finished it," said the little tellow. "How long will it take you to finish itP" quoth the librarian.' "An hour," said the boy. "Well,"' said the librarian,* "it is Saturday night, but we do not close for two hours; go home and finish the book and bring it back." The boy thought hard, and the librarian said, "Can't you do that " "No," ho said, "I can't do that oecause if I go home I'll get a bath!"— The Book Monthly.

A good recruiting story, told by an officer, at Seaforth, shows Sow prons IS a simple mind to be confused by the elaborate eross-qiieetioning Teliicfi the .new reoruit has to undergo. This off* cer was entrusted with the collection of the necessary particulars for the alf&lment of allowance Co the soldiers' dependents. He was interrogating a young fellow who did not seem to hav* a clear idea what it was all ahout. "Next-of-kin?" he asked in a sharp business-like way. The young aoldiet dropped hi voice and became confidentially apologetic. "I'm only wearing a jersey," he said. "Sly shirt's getting washed. "r-Boys' Own Paper. • •••••• Ho had' waited thirty minutes for his eb'of), another ten for ins fried potatoes, and then twenty minutes for his cheese. More in sorrow than in anB«r he touched the waiter on the arm. "Do you think," he asked, "that you could manage to bring me some eoSeef" "Yes,'sir; in a minute, sir." "And," continued the patient one blandly "jupt drop me a postcard now and then while you're away."—Pearson's Magazine The flurried young man approached the guard. "How did this aeoident happen?" he inquired desperately. "Someon pulled the communication cord, stopped the train and the boat express ran into us. It'll take five hours to clear the line." "What! Great Scott, I was to be married ia three Eoura' time." "Look hire, demanded the guard sternly (he was * married.man evidently), "are you the cove that pulled the oordP"—Ths Treasury.