A COMMON 6000.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 1 February 1915, Page 4

A COMMON 6000.

There are thousands of people who suffer from common ailment*, sack u Rheumatism Indigestion Gout Biliousness Neuralgia Jaundice Lumbago Sick Headach« Sciatica Gravel Backache General Debilily - B!ood Disorders Stone Anaemia Bladder Troubles -who have no idea that their suffering is due to a diseased on inactive condition of the kidneys and liver The" that treatment by Warner's Safe Cur has been so successful in cases of the <lisorderis named is that Warner's Saf Cure exercises a specific healing and stimulating influence upon the kidneys and liver. Once the kidneys and liver are restored to health and activity, the uric and biliary poisons, which cause the disorder, are removed from the sys ' tem by the natural channels, and pain due to the retention of the poisons ceases. A descriptive pamphlet will be sent •post free by H. H. Warner and Co., Ltd., Melbourne, Vic. Warner's Safe Cure is sold by cliPinists and storekeepers everywhere, both in the original (se) bottles and in the cheaper ('2s 6d) " Concentrated" nonalcoholic form. For Constipation take Warner's Safe Pills. For Diabetes take Wari.er's Safe Diabetes Cure. For Asthma take Warner's Safe Asthma Cure. * For Nervousness and Sleeplessness take Warner's Safe Nervine.

a S TIP I Nfcfc aide a hearty meat •! a re» j i SftaM&t, aftd gittiikg up, he said to the fitter: " I deeMft if I haven't forgotten my Sine." The Walter fired up. and hurled | Eg words at htm for full three minutes be- j Eft p&ftMng for breath. When a chance i Kfn« the stranger continued —" But I have ag&a-sov. here la my waistcoat pocket." i Kb waiter couldn't smile to save his life. ] BE OBJECTED TO THE RENT. / A lawyer made out a bill to a client who Mb a bit of a wag in his way: most of the Items were for trifling services, and covered leveral sheets ef foolscap. t The client went to settle with the man of law, and stood at the door with the request Sat he would receipt it. i*"v" Please come in," said the lawyer, in his Host cordial tones. 1 " Not much," replied his client; " you'd Jkarge me rent if I did." FREE OPERA GLASSES. L A pair of opera glasses will, this year, be Shached to every seat in all the theatres of Warsaw, Russia. Every glass will be fastened with a chain to the chair. No money will be needed to cause the lever to slide fcjide. The contract fcr furnishing all the Kequired glasses has been awarded to a i German manufacturer, who will charge j nothing for them, and will present them to 1 the various theatres in 1902, provided that . fill then he receives 3 cents on every j theatre ticket sold in the Warsaw theatres ; The managers of the Warsaw theatres think they can afford to pay this royalty. "QUlfcK MARCH 1" A, preacher was addressing an out-door irciwd in the city, when a drunkeri soldier game up and ridiculed the service. Finding ft was useless to the man, the preacher said: " Ah, my friend, you are no soldier; you have only borrowed those clothes! No servant 01 the Queen would drunk and interrupt a peaceful service." The man protested that he was a soldier, and invited the minister to test him. " Very well," was the reply, " I will. Now, attention 1" This thi soldier did as well as his condition allowed. " Right about face 1" This was also accOmplf'iied with somt trouble " Now, quick march And off he went, marching down tIC- ?oad at a desperaiP t?ace, unable to sea the preacher's suceessfal manoeuvre. COMPARISON OF AREAS. T;;k largest state in the civilised world is Texac wi'rich ?»£ tiTOs. of 274,356 sqnare miles; She smalle..' is *he little state of Monaco in Europe, which Only has an area of six square miles. The Austrian empire , contains 240,<(43 square miles: the empire, 212,091 square miles; France,. 204,091; Spain, 177,781 ; Sweden, 168,045 J California, 157,801; Dakota, 150,932 ; Territory of Montana, 143,770 ; Norway, 122,280; New Mexico, 121,201 ; Great Britain and Ireland, 120,879 '• Italy, 114,296 ; Arizona, 113,916; Nevada, 112,090; Colorado, 104,500; Territory of Wyoming, 97,883; Oregon, 95,274 ; Territory of Idaho, 86,294 : Territory of Utah, 84,476; Minnesota, 83,531; Kansas, 80,891 ; Nebraska, 75,955 ; Territory of Washington, 69,994 I Indian Territory, 68,991 ; M issouri, 65,350; Turkey in liurope, 62,025 i R'umania, 45,642; Bosnia ar.d Herzegovina, ::8,i25 ; Bulgaria, 24,360 ; Servia, 20,850 ; Netherlands, 20,527; Greece, 19,941 ; Switzerland, 15,235; Denmark, 14,553, Eastern Kcumelia, 13,500; Belgium, 11,373; Montenegro, 1,770. HOGARTH AND HIS PATRON. Hogarth was once applied to by a miserly old nobleman to paint on his staircase a representation of Pharaoh's host in the Red Sea. In attempting to fix on the prica Hogarth became quite dissatisfied. The miser was unwilling to give more than half the real value of the picture. At last Hogarth, out of all patience, agreed to his patron's terms. Within a day or two the picture was ready. The nobleman was iurprised at such expedition, and im- ' mediately called to examine it. The canvas ivas painted all over red. " Zounds 1" said the purchaser, " what have you here ? I ordered a scene of th» Red Sea!" " The Red Sea you have," said Hogarth, »till smarting to have his talents undervalued " But where are the Israelites ?" " They are all gone over." " And where are the Egyptians ?" " They are all drowned." The miser's confusion could only be. fquallerl by the haste with which he paid vis bill