Jane Eliza

Horowhenua Chronicle, 29 December 1913, Page 4

Jane Eliza

(By Walt Mason.)

' Jane Eliza, our domestic, is a damsel tali, majestic, and she l leaves a trail of wreckage whei | soever she has tracked • heedless of our prayers and wishes, Jane Eliza breaks the dishes, and says "she didn't mean to,' when we read the Riot Act, Jane Eliza sits adreaming while the coffee pot is steaming, and the beverage resulting is a thing to grey your hair; when she cooks a steak she flies it, so that hungry folk despise it, and she says "she's awfully sorry" Avhcn Ave rip around and swear. Jane Eliza has a steady who is known to fame as Freddie, and she always 'wants the parlour when this youth is due to come; and her loidy friends in legions come from all surrounding regions, and they sit on our verandah, in the evening, chewing gum. Jane Eliza is a daisy, though she is a trifle lazy and inclined to waste the moments writ-" ing yards of dippy verse; .from her bonds we don't enlarge her, do not fire her, don't discharge her, for we know that her successor would be forty times as worse. For an early death she's itchin, and some day shc4ll leave our kitchen amidst the fragments of the cookstove and the stovepipes and their wire; for she's always coal oil pouring in the stove, and that means soaring to a far and famous country where she need not coax the fire.