Various Clippings.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 13 September 1913, Page 4

Various Clippings.

From a contemporary: "ller feet were .swollen from standing in wot, salt water." Xext time she will probably try water that is only moist. , A desire to soli his tigs moved a Clapham greengrocer to pleasant humour. lie otters a suit of clothes five to every purchaser of a pound. The suits are exhibited in the window, but they follow tlic pattern of the garment worn bv Adam!

An irishman who was brought before the M agist rale for poaching pleaded that the only bird he shot was a "rabbit," and that 1 knocked down with a stick.

Someone has said that some men could come out ox their coffins and read the inscriptions on their tombstones, tbey would think they had got into the wrong graves.'*

"Waiter!" The voice of the cusi omer rose in accents of .wrath from his table bv the window.

"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, bustling forward. The customer swallowed several times quickly before he could command his voice. "Ilere, take take this egg away!" he roared. "Yes, sir," said the waiter. "And what shall I do with it, sir?" The man rose menacingly in his chair.

"I)o with it !" he bellowed "Do with it? Wring its neck!' •!' * * * -v

The general manager of one of the great French railway companies (says the Paris correspondent of the Daily '.Mail) Mas leaving Paris for a holiday recently, and ihinking himself, unknown, sli]]-

ped a couple of francs into his porter's hand. ''What, yon accept tips?" he exclaimed when the man touched his cap. "Don't you know it is forbidden ?" "Oh, yes, sir," was (lie reply; "I never fake anything from ordinary passengers, but as you are a colleague I thought there was 110 harm." * * - * The firm, desiring to be up-to-date, had put a suggestion-box in., tile offices. All the employees wlio had an idea for the improvement of the firm's business methods were invited to deposit their ideas in this box. If they were approved the firm would pay for them. When it was first opened, the box contained one slip of paper. It was unsigned, and when the heads of the firm read "That those who work most overtime should get the biggest salaries" fhey recognise a cry from the office boy's heart.