"All Scissored."

Horowhenua Chronicle, 11 April 1913, Page 4

"All Scissored."

Mistress: "Norah, you must always sweep behind tho doois. .Now servant: "Yes'm, 1 always <loes. It's the easiest way of gettin' tho dirt out of'sight." Three students were out having a walk one day when they espied an old mull in front of them. "Come, and \vc will have a rise out of the okl fellow," critxl one, so they hurried to get up to him. "How are you, Abraham?" the first one said. "It's not Abraham, it's Isaac," said tho second. "No," said the third, "it's Jacob." The old man turned round quietly and said. "I'm neither Abraham, Isaac or Jacob, hut I am Saul, son of Kisli. and I'm out in search of my father's asses, and. behold. I have found three."

"Oi've lost me mother-in-law," said Terence. "Ay," replied Shatniis. ;f Oi tell ye it's very hard to lose your mother-in-law." "Hard!" exclaimed. Terence. "Begorra. me blioy. it's almost impossible!"

A caretake of a school thr. v. - up his job the other day. When asked the trouble, he said. "I'm honest, and T don't like being under suspicion. Tf T find a pencil or a handkerchief about the school when I'm sweeping, I put it by. A little while ago T saw written on the board 'Find the least common multiple.' Well I Tooked from collar to garret for that thing, and T wouldn't know it if T met it in the street. Last night, in big writin' on the blackhoard, it said. 'Find the greatest f nimon divisor. , 'Well.' I says to myself, 'both of them thing are lost now, and I'll bo accused of taking 'em so I'll leave!' "