WHO SAID SINGLE TAX?

Horowhenua Chronicle, 26 November 1912, Page 3

WHO SAID SINGLE TAX?

(To tho Editor)

Sir, —Mr James Prouse is returning to the attack on tho singfo tax entrenchments. So ho says! As a matter of fact he is doing nothing of the sort.

In the first place 1 thought the argument was about rating on Unimproved Values. Now he says it's single tax. I voted for rating on unimproved values, but I am not in favour of even a single tax. lam in favour of no tax at all!

Secondly, the single taxers are not entrenched. They are all at work trying to earn enough to pay tho rates and the rent. Can't even afford, Sunday morning off to go to church, much less to dig trenches for Air Prouse to assault.

Thirdly, if there were any trenches Air Prou.se would not assault them . Can anybody imagine a gentleman of Air Pronse's tonnage and benevolent aspect with blood in one eyo and thunder in the other, doing the Unitarian act in a bayonet charge on a ditch full of base-born brutal singletaxers and traitors generally? I can! With tho aicT of a quart of bad beer, I did it in my sleep last night! Air Proiiso wan a horrible figure. On his hack he bore a huge shield made of his own broad acres. His head was protected by a bullock proof helmet of many gables decorated with the legend "Houses to let." In his hand lie bore a long rifle with bayonet fixed. His attack was supported by the lartillery fire of "A Worker," who bore a certified statement to prove that he was not

"a loafer," and another "Unit. , These on the left flank fired peashooters. On the starboard roared the popguns of Air Chas. Palmer's battery which threatened to desert in i\ body if rating on unimproved values were carried: and of "A True Scotch" who waved an empty bottle of heather-dew. Under a withering fire of laughter from the trenches the hero advanced in line ahead, crawling on his stomach till within striking distance. Then with an exultant cry. "Up, Guards, and eat ! oin!" he charged homo. A grinning Chinaman leaped aside exclaiming, "No Savoy!" and T shrieked in horror as the seven horse-power thrust went home. The atmosphe.ro was stained with a perfume that could bo felt, and Air Prouse found be hiad stabbed a marc's nest with a very old egg" in it. For a moment he stared in horror at the carnage. Then he throw away his rifle and fled from the stricken field tightening tho straps of helmet and shield as he ran!

NViw Mr Prouso becomes grimly humorous mid says "there is no such thing ns absolute ownership of land by any man." Tt belongs to the country. ftight! Then what is Mr Prouse {loins with such a lot of my Inn<l. and your land, and everybody else's land? He says "freehold tenure is «i life occupation at the furthest." And quite enough, too! T don't ask more than a life, tenure of twenty of Mr Prouse's acres which he says <are not liis but ours. Hand 'em over, Mr Pronse, and I'll vote ng,ainst rating on all values! He sa.ys "A man can't take the land away" (when ho is dead?) Well, T hear Premier Mnssey is about to bring in a bill to

rectify that, and relieve the poor squatter of yet another disability.

Then Mr Prou.se took a. voyage from Collingwood (where's Coll ingwood) to somewhere else: and in the course of a nine hours' voyage, ho pointed out the weakness of the

arguments of a "motley lot of passengers." and finally prevailed on them to pass a unanimous vote condemning tho "one man (and one woman) one vote- , ' principle. He was not prepared to place his new scheme before them as "tho time was not ripe." But I can guess it. It is

"one. aero, one vote! ,. Well, "motley" used to signify "fool, , which explains why the passengers were so

easily convinced. And now perhaps a lot of "motleys" who don't own much land in Levin will understand the enormity of their folly iu voting on the side of the man who would take tho vote away from them altogether. This is not the first time Mr Pronse has given vent to his dislike of universal franchise. After all that, Mr Pronse became interested iu "a fine physique!" It was a "gentleman." lsu't it strange how all "gentlemen" have line physiques—about the equator! Did you ever see a "traitor" (I am obliged to Mr Prouse. for tho word; it signifies "ono who differs from the established Mr Prouse") with a fine physique, or an expansive equator? The "gentleman" told the usual hard luck story. "Ho looked the stamp of man to bo a pioneer" ; but be wasn't. He was an "old soldier." We all know the "old soldier." He had been a failure as «a pioneer, but had made some money as a sawmiller Mid blown the lot in land speculation, nnd the people who voted for rating on unimproved values in Levin are in some way to blame! Now he was looking for work. Mr Proiiso didn't offer him any. He just sympathised with him. Everyone who knows Mr Prouse's kindly disposition knows that the statement, "he was on tlio look-out for something to do," is only Mr Prouee's gentle wiay of stating the fact that "the old soldier" breathed beerlly into Mr Prouec's ear and asked for tTVe lend of n. bob! And now you want to know what all this lias to do with rating on nnimprovod values, or even with siuglo tax. The same as Mv Prouse's effort. Nothing at all.— Yours, etc,, KU KLUX KLAN.