A DISTRACTED CONDUCTOR

Horowhenua Chronicle, 23 October 1912, Page 2

A DISTRACTED CONDUCTOR

OansoNS have been known to apprtcinfci ''•u indescribable mixture of sound pro ecu by the preparatory tuning of an ornostra with the organ, even more than thi -rrformance itself. Handel was not ol this opinion. Aftaf jc was once at his desk, woe betide tb* b» ' itf'd fiddle that scraped a fifth, or the ins* - rijnced flute thai attempted tbe heasl tootle." H was a grand night at Jlie opera. Thi I'rince of Wales hrwl arrived in flood tinip 'ememberinß how Handel had been annoyed sometimes at his coming in late. The instruments supposed to be in perfect were rc.idy, and the performers entered. Alas i a wag had crept in befori hen and put every one of the string instri* iients out of tune. Handel entered ; all the bows wore raised '.ogether, and at the given beat they all started oft con spirito. Tb? effect must nave been as if every one of tho perfovmora "i.ul been musically tumbling downstairs. The unhajroy maestro nishcd wildly from ais place, kicked to pieces the first aoubto-ia:-,s that opposed him, and seizing a kettle. Uurn, hurled it violently at the IfiadlJr of ti)4 "iand. The effort sent his full-bottomed wig flving., nit he did not heed it ; and rushing baraleaded to the footlights, he stood for a fe* noments amid the roars of the house, snortwith rage, and chokec %'ith passion. The prince, although highly amused, thought this kind of entertainment had asted long enough; and, >*orng down ia etx'n, he besought Handel to be calm, and Uth much diJJiculty prevailed on him t< KUiT.e his wig and his 1 niton, THE BANDSMAN'S STRATAGEM. Some years ago I was a trombone tilavej .D the band ol the "egimcnt. We hail \ separate mess of oui own, and were as jappy and comfortable as most people, bat ive had our grievances sometimes as the fol bwing will show:— Our piccolo player was the proud owner if a talking parm% the big drummer had a cat, and the firs?, rlarlo; et player a jackdaw Now the mea for ea< j day's consumption vxs brought tr-> our room by the cook, and he wouid as-k our opinion as to the best wai of cooking it (whether to be baked, boilca, jr a lobscouss) v icn the owners of ih« (kforementionei' pe'.j would stq) to the f<Wit Stid cut a pW i '.or each, amounting in all 5 nearly orv; • Mind.

This wen ; on for some tlms, but not jw&bOut a (ieal of grumbling, especially Jrttnj those n.embers of tho mess who had po Jets ; many and various were tha..plans rought forward by the latter to put'ji this daily occurrence.

At last a thought Uruck me. IlatW no-lia-ii a big, shaggy, dirty, hungry-!o2tols log at a certain pub., about two miksimrni the barracks, I visited place, aadsßo: i lot of coaxing induced him to follow me ; thut aight wlien the ojher fellows w«tt islcej I chained him to the foot of my bed morning, when the meat was broughl •n, I idvanced, knife in hand, and cut off a sage pieoe. "what''* that for ?" was my greetny from til.

" For my dog, of course; the paapet, cal and jackdaw are being looked after; why ihouldn't my dog have his share ?" Well, there was such a row, and th» re> wit of it was, that the corporal (he \vaj x quite determined man) madfe us put back die meat we had taken, and gave ord*rrtkai do more should be cut off for pets. Having given my " pet" sojiethinatq eg ? nw him (artfully obUum tha boregfti to*