Personal Anecdotes

Horowhenua Chronicle, 20 September 1911, Page 4

Personal Anecdotes

A LESSON IN POLITENESS. Mi's Taft, at ft diplomatic dinner, had for a neighbour a distinguished French traveller, who boasted a little unduly of his nation's politeness. "We French," the traveller declared, "are the politest people in the world. Everybody acknowledges it. You Americans are a remarkable nation, but tilre Frondli excel you in politncss. You admit it yourself, don't you Mrs Taft smiled delicately. "Yes," she said. "That is our politness." ; N'OT WITHOUT TROUBLES. Mr W. Crooks, M.P., told some good stories at the Brotherhood meeting at St. George's Wesleyan Church, Cable street, E., says tlio Daily News. The other week ho i saw great men wonderfully dressed going from the Houses of Parliament to Westminster Abbey. One gorl geously aa-rayed gentleman—llto believed he was a duke—said to him, "Mr Crooks, you think we nevor have any trouble, do you n "What's the matter, old mail?" returned Mr Crooks, having forgotten the nolbleman's name. t have lost the bucklo off my slioe." "That ain't nothing," said Mr Crooks. "I have just broken my shoelace my- | self." THE WRONG "SORT OF THING. The following story is related about the great Macdemott, who at one time was a famous lion comique. He >was very particular about his clothes, especially his underwear. One day he went into the big Regent street establishment he usually patronised, and, approaching the shopwalker, said "Haw! Let me see the thinnest thing you've got in silk stockings." The shopwalker appeared rather staggered at the order, but with a violent effort pulled himself together and called across the department: "Mis Markham, just kindly come over hero for a. moment. This gentleman wishes to see you!" ALREADY SETTLED. A patient had oalled upon Dr Rico and asked for a diagnosis of his ailment. He said that he was suffering, 'but could not locate the malady. Dr. Rice began his part by demanding two guineas of the patient. Then he proceeded with the examination. After submitting the patient to the usual tests, he said, "I don't like to alarm you unnecessarily, but I find that you are in a had way. While I do not 'abandon hope of being able to help voir, I tJeem it proper to advise von"to settled your financial affairs." To which the patient replied, "Doc, you did that when you took the two guineae." DISCTPLTNE~MUST BE PRESERVED. Gen. Nelson A. Miles tells this story to illustrate the result of carrying 'military discipline too far. Them w:Ts a certain colonel, who, in tilic middle of a campaign, was seized with sudden ardour about hygieneHe ordered that all the men change their shirts at once. The order was. duly carried our. except in the case of one company. where the privates' wardrobes had been pitiably depleted. The cap' tai nof this company was informed tain of this company was informed their shirts since they onlv had one anieco. When he reported this fact t''ie Colonel hesitated a moment, then said firmly; "Orders must be obeyed. L* l the men change shirts with one another." jamaicFginuer. Once When Charles Michaelson. editor of the Chicago American, came up from the West Indues h<,brought a bright young Jamaica nejrro with him, and kept him as a servant for a year or two. Then the Jamaican boy drifted away. Not long ago word came m to Mr Michaelson Irom the anteroom of his office that a young coloured man would like to see unim. 31r Michaelson had him shown in. Lt was the Jamaican, who was dressed to the nines in plaid clothes and looked very prosperous. . "Lord, Mr Charley," said the visitor. "It's kind of different. now than what it was in the old times, ain't it . We're both doin' .pretty well 'an' get along in' the \vorld considerable. Here you is editor of si newspaper, and I'm a vublber oi Jack Johnson." SMART REBUKES. The eminent French barrister M. Clery, was once pleading heforethe President and assessors who first began to slumber and then to sleep. Seeing this, M. Olery brought down his fist on the desk before him with ft resounding blow, and, and as the bench awoke, they heaiu the words, " Yesterday, at this same hour, I was saying—— It was some seconds before tlioy realise*! that they had not slept the clock twice round:. On another occasion at Versailles, on a cold day, the i judges gradually instinctively turned towards the stove, showing more and more of their backs to the barnstei. At length, continuing his address, he said, "The tribunal behind wimcih 1 have the honour of speaking—and at once the whole bench wheeled round to their original positions. LONGLEY'S CHASE. Harrow boys m:ist not be out at night after a certain hour. Wihen, therefore, Headmaster Longley. afterwards Archbishop of whilst enjoying a midnight stroll, $aw two of the schoolboys in the distance, he felt it necessary to arrest the law-breakers. After a stern chase he just managed to catch TioM. of on*© of "fcTie lads ibv the coat-ta.il; but this. alas, came off in h.is hands, so vigorous had been •his tug. "No matter," thought the master, "T'll detect, him in the f-nr his coat will life minus a tail." But he forgot how Harrow boys stand by one another, for tliey are clannish as canny Scots are. In the morning when school met everv boy had 1 but one tail to his coat! Thus Dr. Longley, cheater of h.is prey, Felt all his anger ooze away.