"HANDEL MURPHY," AND THE SKATERS.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 1 June 1911, Page 3

"HANDEL MURPHY," AND THE SKATERS.

AT PHILLIPS'S RINK

THE LEYIX CARNIVAL

Its aftlier being at Phillips's I ain; just home from the rink an' tired from watching all the bright bhoys and .jooled laydies a-wheeling tan' a-cireling on the slip'ry flure. I was on for goan down Queen sthreet ter hear Misther Prouse .an' Misther Goldsmith tell why the borough council metalled the road where the grocer nearly lost his horse aftherwards, 'but Mrs Murphy she says to me, Now look ye here, Handel, it's mesilf that wants to see the wheels go round and bad 'cess to ver talking shop this night; it's to the rivk ye'll take me, an' ye can go to the debate Wensda week if ye likes. So rinking it was, Mr Editor, I being a conciliathory man like yesilf!

An' in the rink how did they whirl an' twirl an' zip along while the farm band-boys blew their cornets and other brass insthrumints to encourage the brave to deeds desarvin' of fair reward. An' all the roof was soft, 'an' beautiful wiv Chinese lanterns, an' everywhere I let me eye rove was bright, colours an' fair-haired, brown-haired and black-haired gurruls, and various omadhauns who didn't match thim except one now an' then an odd wan; an' in the centre of the flure stood Jolmny Himself, calling out 'whose turn it Avas to skate ian' look pretty, an' him looking as innocent as if he never had set a foot on a skate all his life, and them all a-doin' what he told 'em to—even the champion cyclist in -his fiftyguinea Maori mat an 1 a pleased smile!

Lots of me old frinds were about. First to come was me hockey lad who wore the green socks, but sorra a green sock did he show this time; there he slid around in his pink pyjamas 'an 'a lvappy smile an' sorra a. worry of the morrow, and—but there now, we'll let that pass; if some of us worried less it's the 'better we moight be Forninst the refreshment stall all the evening was a graceful figgur of a man which I identified as " Joe Chamberlain." I knew him as soom as I set an eye on his pane of glass an' his jonquil orchid. Someone said it was President Cleveland, but that o'ill deny, although Cleveland's front name was Gxxxxr (missing lettors to be filled in) .

But the most bewchus vision of tlie evenin' was tlie New Eve. There •herself was, wiv a hat as broad as Christian charity, an' a hobble skirt as narrow as a Mormon's morality, an' a nice open face like the hi** clock over the place of .business where Misther Smith he do sell the watches. Not far from him conies a saai'wich man wiv hoards on an' some name beginnin with G painted on one of them. "Why can't yez read what comes afther GP asks Mrs Handel of mesilf, an' when I sez "Why?" she sez back to me. "Why, because the rest is lack inl" This is a. jewel uv a, joke Misther ■Editor, if ye only puzzle it t>ut; he's a jeweller an' watchmaker in one o'im thinking! Prisintlv we heard a flusthering crash, an' a swaggie from Foxton lurched along. Tare-an'-ouns, how he did go! Forruds an 'backmds, an' sidewuds, an' sittin' down part 'the time, an' cuttin' figures uv eight an' givin' us all a treat! Good for old Foxton, cried Mrs Handel, quite loud like. Some splotlier near hy sez back, quite saucy like. "Good enough old woman! "but you'd ougliter see Ohan!"

An' mintion uv Ohau brings to mind me old friiul Horn. Hr.ro in a nic? -snmm?r rig mi' n tinnis spade looke.l real well an' lie skated "some," too. More, power to bis heels an' h 11 p.:.vh 'eni faster an' faster.

Such a birj baby th?re was on the-flu-re, an' sn:*.li a Guv it did look, wiv its dummy aii' it, long dress. For a young 'mi it skated pmrty useful!

Policemen wiv no warrants, an' clowns wiv no jokes, an' Monkeybrand soap wiv no dish some uv the time, an' cow girls wiv real calves, an' a Pantaloon wiv bumpy legs, an' The Order uv the Bath wiv a sponge on her head, an' Phil the Motor-biker looking sad-like on from the wall, an' about seventy others crowded <xn to the wrong side the buildin'—l tell von it vra.s "real supercoodoobra," as Bop-an's brother use ] to say when he was enthusiastic. I cud tell .vpz whole columns mo:e about the sights, but I won't; it's afther midnight now, and sorra another line ye'll get until another day.. ' - HANDEL MURPHY.