Foxton Amateur Dramatists.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 9 August 1910, Page 4

Foxton Amateur Dramatists.

CRITICISED BY A POFESSIONAL

AX AMUSING DISQUISITION

Mr Phil Walsh ,the well knwyn professional dramatist, wrote tor the Foxton Herald last week, the following critique of a performance of "Kleptomania," hy the Amateur Dramatic Society:-— We entrusted the crtitique to Mr Phil Walsh, and append below his humourous satire, wiliich we hope will be taken in the spirit it is given :— "Early this morning I remarked to my friend, the Inspector of Nuisances, that I had been at the Public Hall last n a u d he wanted to know il I'd lost anything —(|iiite a neural c|iior.v when yoii come to think of the number of light-lingered gentry which were represented on the stage—a general's wife, a host of females, all anxious for employment as kleptomaniacs, and also the wife of a rospcctnbel pork butcher--oh. that insatiable thief, her very waddle suggested concealed goods, and her eyes invited, police inspection. She carried the bag of a petty larcenist and the mind of a Jabez Balfour. Her maiden efforts were confined to the abstraction of various small articles of virtue, but under the influence ot a timely "pint." her herculean endeavours to. stuff the parlour sofa into a carry-all were truly colossal. Mrs Gathcrnioss was the lady's name, and she assuredly gathered moss and any other old thing that was lying around loose. Mr Ken Furrie was entrusted with , the portrayal of thus character, and he certainly did extract the juice from the orange. He was kittenish to a degree, and had the grace of a baby elephant. A uretty drawingroom, handsomely furnished and tastefully decollated ■with some .sketches after Rembrandt — ■several hundred years after, in fact, so long after that they didn't seem to have any hope of catching up—lent artistic versimilitude to the ancestral walls of the home of Genoral Blair. The General is afflicted with a wife who is a kleptomaniac, and the lady's desire to aip>ex otbei people's property is the cause of the delightful nonsense, which gave us all so many hearty laughs last n'gl't. Handsomely gownod, and 01 , tlio right deportment and calibre for such a character, Mrs Clemett was admirably suited. How fortunate her husband was that the first grey hair was discovered in a finger ring, and not in the .soup. The battlescarred hero, General Blair, was represented by Mr Simmons, as a man who expected the family skeleton !<<> rise from the cellar at any moment, in>tl nothing but a powerful porous plaster on the back of the neck would have drawn the warrior's eyes from the carpet. This vigilence to detect the uprising of the apparition catsed the General to present the top of his head to us during the entire evening, and <'°ir veyed tliP'inipression that he was suffering from the 'hump.' ]1 wonder how a real policeman feels when he sees the imitation article <>n the stage. That young man who rO ." presented the police officer had evidently studied the local modol-and looked f|initc prepared to catch anything. I don't believe that even Mr Head could lose him in a halfmile spiint. Did you see the geiitleman who looked like a cross between Pelorus Jack and a cockatoo with side whiskers, well, that was Mr Billiard as the butler. He did good work and displayed his calves 1o great advantage. He should be seen later on in better pnrts, for he has many °f" the qualities that make lor good performers. Talking of calves, Mr lmrie, as the butcher hit Ihe popular l'an (, y n n ( l sharpened his knife with the touch of one to the manner born- In fancy I could hear him say "two pounds from the brisket, aj><[ a yard and a half of our early spring sausages." And what's the matter with , little Jack Golder as the professor? His was a good perform anee, a little "preachy" in places, but on the whole a well sustained and clever piece of work. Well done. Jack! .May your main-spring nevei' rust, and may the watches ol your friends become clogged with dust. "J)r Wally" (a highly ■diverting character) gave Mr Boyes an opportunity of "extracting" laughter without "stopping," he dj,d not lose his "grip" in order to take a fresh "hold," but his love-making was nothing like the real thing, and he knows that better than 1 do. He. was about as warm as a chunk ol ice and as passionate as the figurehead of the Hyderabad. Rosi a. the maid and the bed-makers daughter (Misses Levett and Cook) made their initial appearance last night, an<l are released under the iirst offenders act. Violet (Mrs Boyes) i.s convicted of being J1 delightful and fascinating little bundle of feminity, whose daintiness, artistic work and pretty frocks, warrant her being declared a particularly clever and graceful young actress. The music was n"t the least enjoyable feature of the evening's entertainment and the orchestra, under the conductorsTTip of Mr Betty, merited all the kind things that were said and some of the things that were left unsaid. Di , Adams,, the stage manager, struck me as a particularly busy and anxious man, he was more concerned about the players than they were about themselves, and it was to his untiring energy and cheerful capable direction, that much of last night's success was duo. You may remember a statement be : iig made by the late George Snaze'lle, that a certain Bill Adams won the battle 'of Waterloo. We don't know whether he did or not, but Dr Adams had considerable to do with the victory achieved by "Kleptomania." fts a thankless position as a rule and I was glad to hear the kindly tribute paid to the doctor by our local editor in the little impromptu speech which he carefully rehearsed some days ago. And It ow the most difficult part of this letter has to be written, "Goodbye." Tt means a lot to a man who came as a stranger to your gates and you took him in. f hope you have not been disappointed in him, and that the budding Thespians who graced the local boards, will be encouraged by my few remarks to continue the good work, for i'n the words of a late theatrical poet— interned at Stratford —'there is good in everything. . This being so, who will hesitate to agree that there is good in this little Society of Thespis, who amongst its warmest admirers uumhers no more sincere fniends than myself.

P.S.— Light refreshments were savagely devoured after the show by the performers and. their friends, the business manager of the "Walsh 00., being particularly noticeable. The mazy waltz was also indulged in and I* noticed the "general" deporting himself with all the grace ol a cross-eyed man trying to kiss a girl with a bad lip.