Retorts of Royalty.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 2 August 1910, Page 4

Retorts of Royalty.

KINGS WHO COULD TAKE A JOKE. Divinity does not always hedge a Icing. There have been many rulers who could take, as well as give, in idio joking line. The most striking instance of this kind is seen m the case of Charles 11., who once asked this chaplain, Dot-tor Stillingfleet "flow is it that you always read your sermons before me. whan, as 1 understand, you can preach eloquently enough elsewhere without book or notes?" Tlie good doctor answered that ho was so overwhelmed by his .tKijesty's presence that lie could lint trust himself otherwise, contiiiuinig, "And now, sire, may it please you to toll me why you read you r speeches wlion you have no such excuse?" When Charles, meeting Rochester one day, accosted him Itlius, "I believe thou art the wickedest fellow iu my dominion," tho witty nobleman retorted: — "For a subject, sire, I really think 1 am." Almost as disconcerting an answer as -this was once given to Frederick the Great, who, wishing to humiliate his physician, asked, "How many men, my doctor, have you sent into iho other world?" "Not nearly s*o many as youi .Majesty," was the retort : "but wit h infinitely less glory." When' George IV. was Prince Regent he s!;outed across a road near Portsmouth to a boon companion, "Hello, you Towers! I hear you're the greatest blackguard in this place." Towers made profound obeisance. "I trust," ho said, "that your Majesty has not conic hither to take away my character." It was the same Georgo who, when he asked Hume Tooko whet hoi he played cards, received the answer, "Sire, I cannot tell a knave from :i king." One day, while dining with the Secretary of the Admiralty, William IV., when heir presumptive to the British Crown, snid, "When I am King, sir, yon shall not bo tho Secretary of tho Admiralty, I promise von. What do vou sav to that, eh?" "All I can respond in _ snch_ case, ' returned tliw wiltity official, "is, 'God save the King!' " The coacihina.il of Frederick the Great once hai\ the misfortune to upset the royal carriage with his dread Sovereign in it. When Frederick got out he began ito .swear like a trooper, abusing the coachman like a fish-wife. The coachman coolly turned the laugh on his master by asking, "Did vou, sire, never lose :i battle?" When Louis XYT. was only eight years old hi.s love for wrestling and at her boyish sports gave many uneasy moments to one Lapo'itte, his attendant. On one such occasion lie insisted, despite all entreaties, in rolling about the floor, endeavouring to overcome tho Count of Artois. Laporte calmly pulfc on hi.s hat and sat down. Louis, jealous even at that age of hi.s kingly dignity, at once demanded:—• "How can you permit yourself to sit and remain covered in the nrescnco of your King?" "Pardon me. sire," retorted La-pru-te, "but T did nrib think that a king was in the room."