UNKNOWN

Horowhenua Chronicle, 28 May 1910, Page 4

UNKNOWN

By

A

CHAPTER V. THE TAIL 01 , THE SHTJIT. BRIGHT and cheerful mornnjK ing. The fruit trees, anu'L SIW the hawthorn hedges that or-1 Xlfc nn.monte.il tho farm lands were all in bloom. A warm ami glorious sunshine lit up the land. The fields of waving wheat breaking and bulging into .shotblade were pictures good for man to see. The great pine trees towering around the snuggling bonne were asong with birds. Full charge and control, of "L,airfield" for the next month were handed over to William McStay, and all tho family were up to Itheir eyes in the dual preparations for the trip to the city. The mail train on which they would, travel was timed to leave the local station at 3.30 p.m., and it was now getting on for 11 o'clock. For a week and more Mrs Dashwood and the girls had been overhauling and organising their wardrobes, an<l packing box'es and hags and portmanteaux, so that no hitch would happen and no It.ime be lost when the hour for starting arrived. And Tilly, who had more experience in travelling than the others, was careful to send Maria (her married sister), full instructions to do likewise, ami warned, her to leave nothing to it he last. And Maria sent a message to say that she and baby ready to start any moment.

Preparations for celebrating a church picnic, or for attending a. race meeting, are excilting -enough events in the country, but tlvis trip to the city excelled all tilings .in the history of Fairfield. Nothing had ever so disorganised and dislocated the family nerve and general placidity. Xo matte'! , how saintly, how well bred ami brought up, there is no class upon earth so easily and speedily demoralised as the country person when under the spell and influence of "a trip to the city." .lJulb ■ the demoralisation lasts only till their feet touch the floor of the railway carriage, and they feel a grip of the "ticket" and the carriage window. Then with a gulp anil a gasp the temporary disorder passes away like the evil effects of green 11iconic leaving a blown cow when proper remedits are applied. , "Moother 1 ,, called old John, showing himself at the door ol his bedroom with a flannel shirt in bis hand, "Moother!" Mrs Dashwood failed to hear him. She was engaged with Polly and Tilly in their private quarters, through the walls of which came pwil.s Hi' laughter, mingled with chaigi-s and counter charges, ]>c>K.itive statements and blank denials. According to Tilly, Polly had "taken away her hair brush." According to Polly, Tilly had. appropriated a box of her hair pins. According to each of fcoth those statements were fabrications. Old .John lifbed his voice and called " Moothor" a tone or two higher. Peter, with nothing on but his trousers, came out of *t<11« hath, and, wishing to reach his room off the verandah by the quickest route, made a bold dash along the corridor. He encountered his parent. "Helloah!" cried old John, "where he your Moother, lau. Poter slowed down. "Ha! Hal Hal" ho laughed. " Ain't you getting ready yelt, Father? , ' , "Xot yit," was the answer. "Your Moothier wer' to put a pockit insahde this flannel for me to put mah money in. but (turning the shirt over in his hands), Ah don't see. as she doon it.' "1 made a little canvas bag to put mine in," Peter jubilantly informed his parent, then hurries off. At the front door he stopped and looked hack. "By Jove, you better hurry up. Father," he shouted, '"it'll soon he getting time." "Ah-h!" groaned old John. Tilly, vigorously using a clothes brush on a garment hung over her arm, came from her room, and at the top of her voice desired Ito know if " anyone could see Maria coming." "William sez she'll be nconiiir any minet now," old John answered. "But whiM ,, be your Moother?" he added. "There baint be a pockib in this 'ero flannel." "Mother is coining in a secondas soon as she fixes Granny up," Tilly answered. Then, putting asido the elothes brush, she volunteered to attend her parent's troubles, and inquired w'iiit they were. Onc'o more old John explainer! "Oh, dear me!" Tilly winced. "1 heard her say yesterdav she was foing to do that! And look at The time it is now! Oh, give it to me, Father, and let me see what I can do! It's just terrible the way everything has been left to the last moment after all that was said." "Well, Ah wants it put on so thet Ah won't lose any money out on t,' 'old John stipulated as he handed over the garment. Tilly almost snapped tho shirt from him, and bnrriedly went to iMio machino with it. "And All wants a couple o' departments med in 't lahke," old John added. Tilly frownod, and looked eonf'.isexl. "You wa,nt a division m«do in it Father—a stitch put throiHi the centre of the pocket?" she said. Ah-h; lahke a eanbridge belt, , ' and old John withdrew to his room to continue his toilet. " r, m%, fc , if T kmxv nnw ''"«• be means!" Tilly mumbled irritably, llien after fumbling tho garmeut impatiently, started the machine full speed ahead. Meanwhile trouble overtook Peter and, from the dertrha of his distant' bedchamber he began yelling for first aid. And when Peter to yell for anything he made no mistake about it. He subsidised his voice by attaching the wall with a heavy_piece of scrap-iron. Eventually tiring of all this ho flung open the door of his room and rushed into the dining room and discovered J illy. t " Ts o,, e T ery , one doaf "ft Hik house?" ho demanded. Tilly ignored him. Peter was no ?te to TilI F i" st tlien - Where's my new suit rr<me ho shouted. Mra Dashwood, with Granny done up like a rainbow and hobbliin.o- a.fi< v' "'PP. 61, ™ 1 m * ne scene. t. x .i ir . snit is m OIIr drawers, Peter," she informed him. /'lt's not, Mother," he .answered, TVith tears of distress in his eyos. Apprehensive of some 'blunder, Mrs Dashwood hastened away to make investigations. Peter followed sub her heels. "Isn't Maria coming yet, Tilly?" 1 oily called from the secret depths of her quarters. But Tilly had no ear for her sister, either. Tilly was studying the position of thaifc pocket. Mrs Dashwood returned, after 'h'ping placed Peter in possession of his su#, "Wnnt ate you doing, girl?" s h e asked, addresssng Tilly. " On '> y° u S p t ready,. Mother!" Tilly answered. "We forgot to T>u!t a pocket in this shirt for •Father." Mrs Dashw. od wns taken by sirprise.

"Bu't I put it in," fUliently—and proceeded to exanJPß tho shirt. ' "No, it's not there!" Tilly iw»«rod her. "Curious!" Mrs Dashwood murmured. "It doesn't maititer; It's nearly done Run away, mother, m-iicl hurry, do! We'll ho late, as sure as any't.hing." Mrs Dasbwood still puzzled her head over the pocket, while Tilly roso and tossed the shirt through the door to her fnltiher. Peter rushed in again. "Ha! h,a! Hal" he roared. "What game is this? Who tin* deitco pu't a. pocket iraide niv shirt?" '•Alii there you are!" Mrs Desli wood said with a sigh of satisfaction. "[ knew I had puib a pocket in somewhere." "Ha! Hall-la! Xot a bad joke, mother," Potar went on, "to' put it upside down! So <as the money would go a fellow's leg, eh?" Mrs Dashw<x>d was sure it couldn't bo upside down. "Oh well, never mind; run away, mother," Tilly urged, and .Mrs Dashwood was about to turn away when old John's voice, starting to rumble, rose to loud laughter. "What's up iW-ith you, father r Peter called through the wall. "Is yours put on mxside down, itoo! \h\ Hal Ha!" Tilly looked at her mother and turned crimson ami became bewildered looking. "Jlo! Hoi Ho! Ho! Bo I Ho! Ho!" and old John showed himself n.t the room door with tho flannel in his hand again. "Xoh, it ain't oopsahd down, lad," ho said, "hut it be on the taiil o' it. Hoh, boh, hoh!" "Ha, ha! Hah, hah, faih!" .. ett-r ■ veiled, stamping about. Heih, hah, hah! You don't mean it, father? , "Doan't mean it? Look 'n at it," and old John held up the long end of the- garment. ''Wα, -Ink hnh! I'e.ter wcnit off flgain, while Tilly, oaating one witih-t'-Hng look at the fatal work of art. fled. "Oh, dear me!" Mrs Dasliworxi moaned, "everything does seem to I go wrong." j "By jove, they'll never pick that pocket on you, father," Potor cried, hastening away again. "Xevers you mahn'd, moother," old John said quietly, "nuiy he it 'II do better thot way Itilwm 'other." "Well, I can'it do -aiiything to it now, John," and Mrs Daslnvoor 1 went off to prepare herself for the trip. "1 think T can see Maria coming." Polly was heard Ito call out, ;;ik! Tilly answered : "Oh, at last; and it's ucaretime!" "Do 'em say th' train be raimr y " crnnny, having caughit 50! , ! , . , o! Polly's announcement, asked. Xo, it's Maria," Tilly informed her. "Ma.gnire?" i-epeaitetl granny. "Is Tom Ma,guire g«ing in the train, too?" Peb(M" interrupted. A brilliant idtvi had occurred to him, :ind he rushed in to impart it to old Jo'm "Do you know what you si ouh: do, .father?" ho shouted. "Ah dcrseiiit want eimertbin , more to do just now, lad," canie the answer. "If Ah gits this 'ere stood bootonecl (a grunt) Ah'll do well en oof for one. day." "1 mean, about that pocket in your shirt," aud Petor bc-<rn.n tc giggle. "Ah-h. oh-h, tihet. What abaht •n.- lad?" "Well, if T wore you I'd tie the sleeves around my waist, and wear tihie tail at my neck." And Peter broke ..into laugh a't tho lovely vision bis words conveyed to him. "Ah-h, an' he awoanin' th' pocket oopsahdo down," old John called l>nck. "Thet waint be any use, lad." At this stage Maria, gorgeously (ho.'sed, and perspiring nnd carryin.fr the baby in hor arms, arrived. "Oh," she gnsp-i'd. "it's fearful n'arm!" Peter greeted her with clamour and noise sufDcient to arrest a swarm of bees; and the baby, taking frighlt at him. :md starting to w<ll its lungs out, announced its arrival to the whole household. "Thorn's Maria!" Tilly called. "Maria's come!" Mrs Dashwood shouted. And old John, poking out his head, bailed her with: "Hello, Maria. ion ho ahead ii nus. Have you got all your trape a ready?" "Yes; but I've forgotten my bas--1 Maria answered excitedly. "And baby has lost one of his little s 4 lioc,ss(»nieu'her,e on th'oroad. -ind T don't know what on earth to d'<, about it." "Ah-h," thoughtfully from old John. Granny hobbled in and embraced the bellowing infant and" frightened it -mort , . "I forgot my basket, granny, -and don't know what to do about it!" Maria moaned, appealing to the ngwl one. "Oh yes, dear, Ah'ni goin , too," granny answered with a smile tluvt disclosed her gums. "We be all agoin , , mah girl." Mrs Dashwood called loudly to Maria to come to her room. Maria, hugging her squawking progeny to silence it, hastened thither, all the while repeating her woes of the absent basket. "There you are—l thought she would!" Tilly called to .oily. "Maria has forgotten her basket 1 But Polly exercised discretion, while old John, arrayed in shining black suit with a heavy gold chain stretched across his great stomaeih, strutted into the dining room nnd survoyedi himself in a self-satisfied mwl of way. A big man was old John, and done up and posing as he was now, looked all over a prosperous alderman. Granny in a motherly way looked him up and down, then 'took him in charge, mud tugged ait the sleeves nnd tails of his coat to coax them into position. Then taking out her pocket ihandkorohief she proceeded to dust him all over. "Ah reckons as ithot '11 abaht do, granny," and old John moved roumci the room in further contemplation of himself. "An' Ah fchenk Ah ought to look lahko as Ah doomed aht o' th' stable when Ah gots dihn there. They waiiib know I from the -ov•>rnor." Little Andy, buried deep in a new suit, and gazing down in admiration of his polished boots, strolled, ■along, and applied to ibis p:i rent for "a shillin'." "A shell in'," and from his trouser pocket old John produced a large leather purse, bulged out like a oldtihes bag, and 1 started fumbling the contents. t "Ah don't thenk as Ah has a shellin' for you, wiah't Ah gives you balf-a-orahn." t "No, you promised me « shellin,," Andy -protested, "an' you'll have to give it to me, see And Andy seized his father round botih knees as if to imprison him till he paid the dieibt. "When we gels to the station, then, mah boy," old John promised, "Ah'll get you one." And he returned the huge pturse Jto his breasit pocket.

Pete lowktng only one of its land in i^Pnd— a high coloured collar, ft variegated necktie, and carrying a spanking tiew, leather bag in each hand, skipped breezily into t'h'o room. For a moment old John's ibre;i)tih threatened to leave liini. - o stared long and hard at his artistic loolcings on. Peter paraded the room as' if for inspection. Old .John started to smile. Peter, lifting liis voice in song to an excruciating key, bellowed: "And I'm off to-o-o-o Philadelphia in th' nionnin'." "Well," said old John, "if Ah wouldn't 'ha' thought you was just come back from Hoaveav." "Ha! ha! ha! How do you like me, fatlier " Peter answered, plachooking his thumbs into his vest coat. They won't take me for a Johnny from the wire fence. How do von think I'll strike them, lather?" "Hob! Hob! Hob!" old John laughed. "You'll strahke strips »:ff 'em, lad—-tttra like it off lahke lightning." My joves. then, father," lMtier rejoined enthusiastically, "you don't look too bad yourself. You'd pass for a king in those clothes." "Ah-li," drawled the parent. James, carelessly dressed in a common tweed suit,-ami wearing a soft felt hat, sauntered in in search of luggage to convey to the buggies standing in the yard. His eyes rested 011 Peter, and ho stopped abruptly, and stared. Peter met his brother's look of amazement with a "Ha! ha! ha!" Old .John, looking at James, said: "Don't '11 kmoiw him, lad? Did '11 think he wit' th' Dook o' York?" .James burst inito merriment, and turning on his heel recreated down the corridor. The next moment he was heard (Milling to the girls. "What is it, James?" Tilly answered. "We'll be ready now in a moment." "For heaven's sake," .Tames said, "just go and look in at the dining room." Neither Tilly nor Polly could reWslfc curiousity. Clad in tlmir sombre travelling dresses they hurried to the dining room and looked in curiotisjy and expectantly. For :\ second or two they experienced disappointment, for their eyes only

rested on the forms of granny mid old Jolni. When, however, the. gorgeous and smiling figure of IVter standing rigid .and erect took shape to them they xiiniiltaiiecu.sly shrinked. and fled. '"They he alau-jjchiii' at you kid," old .John remarked with a grift at Peter. "Those who laugh last. faJtiher, laugh longest," f'eter said. " W-ai't. till wo got to itlie city, and see who'll l)e laughed ait then.—not mo. [fa! Ifa ! Ha!" Mrs Dash.wood and Marin and the baby assembled in it'.he dining room ■and dumped »a consignment ol' small luggage on 'the table. "Did anyone go for Maria's basket ?" Mrs Dashwood asked. Hut Maria, liersell", stifled a >reply. "Oh my, Peter!" she exclaimed on beholding her brother. Then she started to l.iugh. "Well I'm hlowed if T know what you all see wrong aboult mo to laugh at," I'dtler i>rote.stad. "Aiiln.'t 1 decent? Ain't 1 respectable looking?" And once more he stepped out round the room on a- gallant pa rade. "Ah don'ib know what there's wrong abaht you. lad," old .John reiiKirki'd cheerfully, "bulb Ali'm hanged if Ah ean stop smiling at vow all th' som." "Really." Maria .said advisedly, "you don't show a hit of taste. IVter! Xot a bit." "Don'ib ahow a bit nf taste?" I'eter echoed. Then turning to liis parent: "Thor'e's a good joke there father, but I'm blest- if f (-.an get it off my tongue." I'eter .scraltrhed his head aiui pondered. ()h[ John supplied th ! e joko. "Well, Ah suppose." he drawled, "thct yer liaint old .enoof to taste, lad." "Ha! Ha! Ha! that's it," Peter yelled. "You Itako the bun, lather.

yon do." "Ami von don't take anything," tlio pa rout added with a beaming smile. "T don't?" and Peter looked perplexed. Tin's latetffc effort of lias parent's was I too subtle for liiin. "Well." explained old John, "il vow don't taste any you' don t take any, do yow?" Peter went off into .a loud shriek. "By crikey, father!" lie cried, "if there's any one down in the city who can make hotter jokes than you, they'll ho preitty pood at it." .Tames, who had returnWl quietly to the room, started to grin. "If there's a better joke there thian himself." he remarked slyly to Maria. "I'll he verv much surprised." Maria, casting another amused look Jit Poter, blushed for his sake, and replied: "Did you ever?" "No f never," James answered, n,nd taking possession of some hags went off ! to the 'buggies with tlie.m. "Well now, let me see," mused old John, thoughtfully. "Truro's noothin' else, Aih don't think. >> illiam and the boy allows nbalit tho jnare.s. Honest .Jim, he'll coomo rahiul on Mood a'. King William on Tnosda' followin', an' that horse o' Arc Falty's on Wedne.sda'. Ah spoke wi' 'them -this niornin' so they knows all abaht thet lot." " How did you manage about your pocket, Father?" Potter inquired. "I've a small bag sewn round mb, here (tapping himself about tho kidneys). There's six sovereigns there, and the cove who gets them out without me knowing all about it will bo a pretty smant chap." "Ali-li," old John answered, with robrot in his voice, "theit'e one thing should 'a' been looked to. J3ut Ah'll mannge, Ah suppose." William appeared, and announced that everything was ready and advised them all to "get a. move on." There was fresh excitement then, nncl a great hurry-flurry. Polly and Tilly with their hats in their hands paid final visits to the mirror.

Maria's baby broke out an a new place, and with such violence thalt its mother was compelled to claim <a minuite while she sat to search theinfant's undergarments for the presence of a pin that she was sure was sticking in lit." Granny put up a hue and cry a.t>out the loss of ono. of her woollen 'mits' that all ;the while- was in her pocket, and started the others off on a, wild goose chase. Old Johw-ns unable to put his hand on his hard felt "nail can" hait, and another expedition sdb out in search of it. "Now then for ,the city," Peter cried, lifting his hand and -adjusting ! his quaint little hat. "Oh, wait just a minute!" Polly exclaimed excitedly. "What on I earth did I do with my umbrella?"

said «n<ll fne keys iworo on where William oou'Ul get Tli em. "Bo you* all iready now P'' in fl. loud vo'ic J o from old Johni. Everyone was silent. "Then 001110 011," and old John, loading the way, niarohed out. Out in the sun Polly and Tilly hilbtered, and said: "Juat look at Peter!" Then they clamoured and elinihed i into tli'o four wheelers. James opened a.nd closed tiho biff white gaibe. The whips cracked and away they rolled to the railway station. A sharp twenty minutes' tlrivo pasb Me liberty's farm, larouiwl Catherton's corner, and tnoy raicsliicd 1 tlio station. The hulk of tho wlliidh had proceeded them 011 Smith's waggon, occupied a whole end of tho (platform, and tho station master and his porter were busily engaged disfiguring it all _wit;h labels. Tlie station master raised his oap to the ladies, all of whom smileu graciously upon him, and passed pleasant remarks to old John on his appearance, and expressed envy at his freedom and his prospects of ft food time in the city. "Ah-h ; All be goin' to enjy mose'lf, Johnson," old John assured, him. "It he tho ftrsit- trip we. vo atake.n, an' we're agoin' to do it in stall h>." , , "I don't blame you," the station naster said. "I woukl too, il 1 rero in your shoes." Then, turning with a grin to il eter: "l'eter looks as if lie was going to have <a good time, 'Mr Dashwood?" With a "Ha! Ha! Ifa!' reter spun around three times on one heel. , , , ... "Ah-h," said old John with a smile, "Peter thinks he bo agoin to take th' city ball storm." "I don't know about taking the 'city' bv storm," the (Cheerful station master answered, "hut he might 'take some of the city girls by storm." , , 1 "Ha! Ha! Ha!" and Peter made several revolutions 011 the other

hcM'l. . , "He mailt bake them bo th Miami,' " old -John si lasted witkt'dlv, and both joined in a laugh at Peter. Thei) the station master, glancing towards the ladies to see they were not- within hearing, placed his month close to old .John's oar and sai<l something conlidontial. "Hoh! I [oh! Hoh! Hoh! Holi! Hoh!" old John hurst. "Hoh! Holi! Holi!" And a number of bystanders, residents of the district, who were there lor the "mail" or to consign goods and one thing mid another, were lorced to join in the joke, though they hadn't the least idea what it was about. "I wonder what on earth Father is laughing at?" Polly asked with an amused look on her lace. "1 wonder!'' Mrs Da si wood smiling across at the cheerful red face of her husband. "Goodness only knows what it i.s," Tilly put in. "Father «nd Mr .Johnson are always joking about something or other." "Ah doan't thonk as he would go tihat far," roared old John when he recovered his breath. "Then: he's a lot different to what his father was .at his age, I bet," the station master ropli.nl, and old John broke inito another loud "I:I<»h! Hoh! Hoh! Holi! Holi! Holi!" in which the bystanders joined heartily. Then with a parting "Ha! Ha' Ha!" the station master tin md and entered tlio office. "Look 'ere. Johnson," old .Jrhn called after him, "Ali'll have uiu dismissed at headquarters when ,Vh gets to til' city." Meanwhile Mrs Dash.vio! and Miaria and the girls were busy strapping and changing and :ir• 11 a the smaller items of luggi/e i'oliy required a certain bag Mluii :: to •;th:o car™,go, and Tilly a. oa.'tic.i'ar box, while Mrs Dashwood an i Maria expressed grave dou'bts as to the safety of a trunk in the van. "Wherever did that come from," Tilly exclaimed, observing the porter'in the act of gumming a label to .a tea tin. "That isn't, ours." The porter was thrown in doubt. "T thought it belonged to this lot," he said, looking from one to the other. "Oh, that's 'mine,' " Maria said, com ins; forward and claiming the curiosity. "f have the baby's things in that." And more than the suggestion of 41 blush came into Marin's faco. Tilly glanced meaningly at Polly, then looked away and turned up her nosp. Tilly tvas not in favour of travelling to the city in company with a. 'tea tin. "There were plenty of spare bags at the house. Maria, if we had only known," Polly ventured quietly. The haibv broke into a whine again, and irritated Maria. "Oh, it's grand enough for me," she snapped, shaking the infant up and down. "I've had ito use a lot worse before—and so have other people!" "Ob. it dcosn't mat-tor," Mrs Dash,wood said eoneiliatingly. "it doesn't matter!

"Put it in vitill Peter." itlie porter suggested impudently. "He looks like a 'commercial,' and they'll tliink lie's travelling fov ten." Polly and Tilly at first blushed at this suggestion ; then they broke into a giggle and walked np the platform. "All travelling first, Mr Dasliwodd?" the station master iiH|iiii J e.d, as lie procured the tickets. "Ah-li, all first," old John answered. taking on.ti his purse. "Wh'at about Peter " and. the official smiled significantly. "Peter?" answered old .John, tunning and eyoiiiEr the iinnnnificentl.v dressed one. "Ali-b. Hut vow haven't ennertliin' heititer '11 first, have yonv, Johnson P" "Not hero," the other answered, prodding the tickets into tJi'n- date ftarnp. "Hut T dare say wo could g«b the Governor's carriage if we wired right away." "Ha! Ha! Ha! " Petor went off. "T'd lc;ok as well in it a sold thing-me-lrnb the Lieut en ant Governor.' "You'd lt.ok a .jelly sight better, if you it"k me," r.n dth- station master broke into a chuckle. "He'd' look biM r in thai -i 1 rigbox," James rl Pawled. pazing out at an eir.pty standing in the railway yard. Just t il >'"n tl's ti'.ai! whistled, nnd a. .cramMo set in. "Thai's lur," the station master ciriod, .and rushed omt. Old Jr,'l 111 and James and Peter .inpnned "l) prrfcif l "S of lugfnge. William kissed Maria and the ba.bv and r.;:(l "gr:nc!-ibye" to the millers. train drew up to the olatform, and one after tli" othfvj tJie family crowded noisily into u. much to tihe annoyance and discomfiture of tiwo commercials, who lay fufll stretch oin the seats. TIIO ftaltion master banged the door after t-h'om, then stood 011 the ftoip and wished them all a good time and' a safe return. Old John and James waved to those on the platform. The train whist fed, puffed, strained, and went off.