Miscellaneous

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 3 December 1927, Page 8

Miscellaneous

(By

Mid-Off”)

PARS ON ALL SPORTS.

CRITICS IN MERRY MOOD.

There’s an “r” in November. Stands for rain. I take it.

A golfer’s anthem: ‘‘Wo plough the fields and scatter.”

A boxer stated recently that his hobby was fishing.—He used right hooks I supposed.

A pugilist complains of the high cost of training. Well, beggars cannot be bruisers evidently.

Boardinghouse meals aro a gamble, says an overseas writer. Quite right! They often entail playing lor high steaks.

The superiority of cricket over football lies in the fact that, when you play in a cricket match you get lunch and tea given you —Perhaps*

The other day I came across o man who is a rough diamond. He belongs to several clubs, has a big heart and calls a spado a spade. He is, in (act a bit of a card. • • • Australian and English breWers are complaining that the eloctric-hare raising is spoiling their business.—Well they should get someone to invent, an electric thirst.

Twice in the world’s chess champ ionship a player took 45 minutes to make a move.—The spectators worn commended upon their refraining from bursting into wild enthusiasm

A German scheme tn have dacn shund racing with an electric sausage has fallen through. It appears that when at full stretch on a circular course the dogs might overlap their own hind-legs. What 1 can’t understand is why there are so few wicketkeepers. Really the ’keeper docs not have such a bad time. He is well padded and gloved, and does not have to run after the bill when ho misses it. His principal occupations are to crouch down and stand upright as though ho wcra doing physical jerks, to -dioul “Huzzat” as much us possible, and to stand at the wicket and wave his arms at the fieldsman.

At a recent football match in Scotland l.ho crowd invaded the play ing-area and kicked the referee. That official, it is alleged, laughed con teinptnously. as he was a devoted Charlestonist.

“No,” said the keen bridge-player who was proverbially unlucky, ‘‘l never play cards for money.” After a pause ho added with a sigh, “My opponents do, though, damn ’em.” i <• • ‘ •

Harold Blackmore, Bolton Wanderers Soccer star, is noted for his -crrifle shooting. In his junior days he practised shooting into an apple barrel and become so accurate that he could drive the ball into the barrel nine nine times out of ten. An American baseball writer says that cricket is a dry game. Well, lie should have toured with the New Zealand cricketers, both at Homo and for their two matches in New Zealand.

Is this prophetic! In quoting a telegram from the chairman of the management committee of the New Zealand Cricket Council to the M.C.C. the “Daily Mirror” credits it to Sir Daniel Reese. His friends will have to stop calling him Dani “I’ll nover forget that glorious evening when we met Princess Mary and played billiards with her,” said W. E. Merritt, to the old boys of his school. “Things were getting rather slow, so Bill Cunningham went up to her, pulled out a packet of cigarettes, and inquired would she like a smoko, thrusting the packet under hot nose. ' Fortunately, she did not smoke.” ■

More and more stories of “W.G.” aro being “created,” Here is another: Dr. Grace disliked losing his wicket if he could possibly avoid rt. On one occasion he’hit the ball high into the air, and, seeing tho fielder shape for a safe catch, turned to the fielding captain, and said, “I declare the innings closed,” before the ball had time to drop. A pretty problem for tho umpire.

Although his intention was tho best in the world, the words of Mr F. Wild ing, K.C., 'at the New Zealand Cricket Council’s official luncheon tn the New Zealand team at Christchurch were unfortunate states a Southern paper. He was paying a tribute to English professionals at present in the Dominion and sni< “What they know about cricket isn’t worth knowing.” The professionals and those at the luncheon grinned discreetly.

All eyes in the fistic firmanent are on America, the land of rapid opportunity and big purses. Tommy Burns, the old world’s champion threatens to descend on the States with a potential world-beater, a young Belgian named Humbeeek. who has already beaten Pierre Charles, and drawn with Paolino, the Spanish woodchopper. Tho latest protege of the erstwhile Noah Brusso is 23 years old, six feot and 13 stone

“Then there was Bill Cunningham, tho funniest chap in the team. Without him, I don’t know what we would have done in some cheerless times,” said “Bill” Merritt tho other evening. “He was always trying to have a good time and make everybody happy. When we were playing a match at Galashiels, the field was on tho slope of e hill and Bill was sitting