Joke Competition

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 3 December 1927, Page 14

Joke Competition

SENIORS. A very rich man married a beautiful woman, who was beneath him socially. One night a certain nobleman took her in to dinner and be- • tween the courses she sat resting her hands on the table. Suddenly an awkward silence began and her partner whispered. “Awful pause! “So would you have," the hostess replied, indignantly, "if jpu had spent as much time at the wash-tub as 1 have done I” —Prize of 1/- to Guy Smith, age 12 years, 700W. St. Aubyn street, Hastings. “Tommy," said the teacher, "come »o the map and point out Australia to the class. Tommy did so. “Who discovered Australia. George? ’ teacher asked the next boy. “Tommy did,” he replied. —Red Certificate to Harry Toothill, age 11 years, 701 St. Aubyn street W., Hastings. Visitor: "Can you tell me the population of the village, little man?" Little Boy: "Yes, sir. Me and 2,224 other people." —Red Certificate to Norman Downes, age 13 years. Hills rond, Fernhill. "That is a cheap restaurant." “How so?" “1 got coffee, cakes, and a new overcoat for sixpence." —Red Certificate to Olga Hemmingson age 13 years, 816 Caroline road, Hastings.

"When did Moses live?" asked the teacher. The class was silent, so she continued “open your books and read the page about Moses. What does it say there?" After a pause a bov replied: "It says ‘Moses 4000 B.C.’ ” “Then why didn’t you know when Moses lived?” demanded the teacher. “Well," said the boy. “1 thought that was his telephone number.” —Orange Certificate to Sylvia Thomas, age 11 years. 109 Garnett Hastings. Stranger (at gate): "Is your mother at home?” Youngster: “Of course she is. Do you suppose I’m mowing this lawn because the grass is long?" —Orange Certificate to Mollie Hull, age 11 years, Box 76, Hastings. JUNIORS A traveller at Euston Station, on booking a third single to Inverness, was informed: “Change at Aberdeen." “Na. na,” he replied. -'l'll take my change now. I’ve been in Aberdeen before." —Orange Certificate to Ron McDonald, age 10 years. 603 Ellison road, Hastings, Little Robert: “Pa, a man's wife is his better half, isn’t she?” Pa: “\V© are told so, my son." Little Robert: "Then, if a man marries twice there isn’t anything left of him. is there?” —Orange Certificate to Ada Harrison, age 7 years, 708 Fitzroy Avenue, Hastings. An old lady wrote to the S.P.C.A. to protest against the cruel practice of scratching animals. She called special attention to a statement that three horses had been scratched on the day of the race—a most cruel and barbarous thing to do. —Orange Certificate to Betty Fowke, age 7 years, 6u Wakeman street, Hastings. Here is a little gem clipped from a small boy’s essay on parents: “Parents are things which boys have to look after them. Most girls also have parents. Parents consist of pas and mas. Pas talk a good deal about what they are going to do. but mostly it's the mas that make von mind.” —Orange Certificate to To-ce Bateman, aged 9 years, Paki PaEi.