Miscellaneous

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 26 November 1927, Page 8

Miscellaneous

(By

Mid-Off”)

CRACKS AT ALL SPORTS. CRITICS IN MERRY MOOD. If all the heavyweight boxers in the world were placed end to end, they would look natural. A competition for executioners was held in China recently.—l supose the victor won by a short head. A long-distance runner has just matched himself for a 25-day race against a camel, states a continental palter.—l suppose the loser will have the hump. Seng revival in Auckland in view of the scheme to institute tin-hare racing: “Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-bow.” In Wellington The Rest sadly needed one when R. C. Blunt and C. S. Dempster got into, batting action. • • • So the Prince has withdrawn from the Army rackets tournament. The first man who says he couldn't stand the racket will be shot. I was told the other night that there was an increased interest in the long jump.- -Motorists. I know will receive the news with a complacent smirk. • » * News item: A circus elephant has been lost near a London golf Course. —lt was later reported (or should have been) that in view of recent heavy rains the authorities were dragging the nineteenth hole. , When Kipling wrote, “East is East and West is West, and never the twin shall meet,” he reckoned without the tin hare. John Chinaman, too, has fallen a victim to the mechanical form of coursing which has taken western nations by storm. Companies have been formed to promote the sport in Hongkong and other centres, YOl4 can’t beat the Americans! At one golf course iced drinking water is provided at the tees. As America is a dry country, no harm would be done; but it is questionable if our club committees would look on such a procedure favourably. There would be no' thirsts left for the 19th. * - a Eddie Eagan, the amateur boxer, who visited Sydnev with the Marquis of Clydesdale, and who acted as one of Gene Tunney’g sparring partners for the latter’s last light with Dempsey, has joined the benedicts. He married Miss Margaret Colgate, daughter of the millionaire soapmaker. The couple eloped whilst motoring at Saranac Lake. N.Y. Eagan worked his wav through Yale, and won the heavyweight championship of that instiution. * * v

At an oral examination for wouldbe football referees held in a Lancashire colliery district the examiner asked a toughish-looking student what action he would take if, after ordering a player off the field for misdemeanour, that player refused to go. “What would Aw do if Aw ordered a player off an’ he refused to goo?” answered the bristling lad, “Aw’d dam soon punce him off.”—“Kickoff” tells me that the chap passed with honours.

Heard near Parkvale: “Am just going for a round of golf with S—dear.” “Oh. are you really! I’ll come with you and listen.” A 15-year-old London messenger boy is 6ft 2in in height. -He must get terribly annoyed when the boss tells him not to be too long. There is an ignorant boor who. when the artistic girl said she loved “Whistlers,” replied: “Kererees m Canaries?” In a cricket match at Duntroon (N.8.W.) a batsman snicked a ball to the off. The ball travelled fast and low and struck the upraised foot of a fieldsman, who then caught it. The batsman was amazed at his dismissal: and, for that matter, so was the fieldsman. • • • A certain fast bowler has the knack of terrifying most batsmen except the very stout-hearted. On one occasion at a critical juncture in a match, a good but timid batsman was sent in to face the terror, and, after three whizzing deliveries, succumbed. To the defeated batsman, the skipper of the side said: “Why on earth didn't you stand up to that fellow and punch him to the boundary?” The other replied with perfect sincerity: “Well, you see, my policy doesn't covei suicide.” A tale is going the rounds just now about showing how a bowler performed the incredible feat of taking four wickets with one ball. Numbers eight and nine were batting when one of them was hit so badly on the hand that he had to. retire, The man at the other end fainted at the sight of the blood. No 10 declined to bat against what lie considered a dangerous bowler, and, although the last man was quite prepared to bat, thqje was no one else to go in at the other'' end. Four wickets with one ball. « a • The campaign being successfully carried on in the Old Land bv the Waratahs as representing the Rugby Union forces of New South Wales, re-opens an old question, that of International football from the Australian as distinct from the State standpoint, states the Svdnev “Referee.” .... The Waratahs defeated Ireland in the first of their Internationals. If the Rugger znrne were played in the chief States. Australia v. Great Britain would become an even greater event than Australia v. England is in cricket. .... It may seem an ideal. But it is a possibility to the football authorities in all States who believe in the amateur spirit prevailing" in the national games.

An unusual panther hunt is reported from Bombay. While 200 employees of the Central Provinces Portland Cement Company were workin" in the quarries a panther appeared. The men gave chase armed with implements and formed a ring rou”' l ‘he p'- •■•'’c-e the animal was hiding. When the pontic emerged it was hit on the head and killed with a cricket bat by an employee. who had been playing in a cricket match. Almost immediately another panthtr was discovered and killed after wounding one man. A third panther, which attacked a woman who was cutting grass, was beaten up and shot.

N. Haig. Middlesex cricketer, had a curious experience at Lord’s when the Gentlemen were batting in their first match of the season. He reached forward to play Woollev. but missed the ball, and Duckworth promptly wh’pyied off the bails, and appealed for stumping Butt, the umpire, gave Haig not out. and the batsman remained at his create. Then came an appeal from the bowler’s end for a catch at the wicket. and this was answered against Hajg. who consequently had to retire to the pavilion. ' This is one cf those rare incidents at cricket that are so puzzling to the average onlooker w,ho is not thoroughly acquainted with the laws of the game. It was hard luck for Haig to be given not out and out from the same ball.

It is a novel experience for the reporter to hear umpires praised by cricketers, without reservations. “The English umpires were wonderful,” said a New Zealand player to a Christchurch “Sun” writer, “they never made a mistake.” Other players agreed, stating that if a ball landed half nn inch outside a stump there was no chance cf obtaining a leg-before decision. The umpires seemed to know precisely where the ball landed. They were paid officers, and they travelled from one end of England to another for the purpose of attending matches. Their remuneration. when fully engaged, totalled about £23 a week, but they paid their own travelling expenses. • • • A few years ago a flock of sheep was to be seen grazing on the terrace on the Sydney Cricket Ground. They kept the grass down and otherwise assisted to keep the ground in 4 trim. A Leeds (Yorkshire) writer” now says“ Apropos of the intro-, duction of sheep to graze the cricket ground at Headingly—not to make the Leeds Australian footballers feel at home, as someone suggested—has brought an interesting communication from a well-known Leeds cricketer who says that this suggestion had often hcen made in the past to the Leeds club of directors. Alter natively it was thought a flwk of geese would bring about a marked improvement in the turf. Our informant adds that the old Leeds Leamington ground became one of the verv finest in the district largely because it was used as accommodation grazing for sheep, which were brought into Leeds for sale at the cattle markets. The drovers in charge of the sheep paid a penny a head for every sheep turned on to the ground, and the club deriwd' quite n useful revenue from this source.” • » • Strange are the vagaries of pugilism. Soundly trounced by Phil Scott in England, unable to secure matches. Tom Hcenev was for throwing in the game and returning to he was persuaded to try his luck in the States. Result—the rugged Tom in line for the world's chaniiponship. valued as n box office attraction at £20.000. Having twice beaten the Macrilander, Scott had every reason to think he would be eoil"’ly sucres - ful in America. So Phil troops off to the land of the almighty dollar. Result—Scott knocked out in the first round of his first, fight hv a third-rater! The London fireman was outclassed from the tvord “co ” Knut Hansen bionic son of Viking Mot 7 S ’ lo °7 <l '* “ block tor newly-: | „ UJSR to „, lc hen- stuff,” hm | him all round the nniy and ully put Scott to tWo minut"s of the