Joke Competition

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 26 November 1927, Page 14

Joke Competition

♦®*®*®*®*®*®*®*®»®* JUNIORS, A Scotchman newly emigrated 'to the Canadian North-West saw a great American elk in the distance, and asked what it was. “That’s a moose,’’ was the reply. “A moose,’ 1 he shouted, “if that’s a moose what are your rats like in this fearsome country?” —Brize of 1/. to Ernest Morgan, age 8 years, Clive, In a remote country village a new letter-box had been put up. This caused much comment among the village children, who gathered round to discuss what it could be. “I think it belongs to the doctor or the squire,’’ said Billie Jones. “Can’t ver see it's bv the church, so it must be the rector’s,’’ remarked .another lad. “Get out!” said another boy. the smartest one of the crowd, “it ain’t the rector’s—read what it says on ft: ‘No collection on Sundays.' ” —Red Certificate to Joan Wyatt, age 8 years, (508 Victoria street, Hastings. z “You don’t seem to have any notorious spots here,’’ said an inquiring tourist to the native guide. “In the last village we stopped at they showed us a place where a man had laid in wait for his rival in love, and attacked him with fiendish gusto.” The guide had really never heard of this remarkable crime, but his professional jealousy was aroused. “That is quite true, sir.” he nnblushingly bore witness, “hut you, perhaps, are not aware that the villain afterwards made his escape in this direction, and you are now standing on the very spot where he threw away the fiendish gusto with which he made the fearful attack.” —Red Certificate to Phyllis Day, age 10 years, Francis street, Hastings. “Mr and Airs Squirrel went for a row in a boat last night and they won’t speak to each other now.” “How is that?’’ ' “Thev fell out.” —Orange Certificate to Molly Jefferd, age 10 years, Ngatarawa, Hastings. SENIORS. The father had gone away and left his oply son in charge of the store. “Are you the head of .the firm?” asked a man with a sample case who had just come m. “No. sir,” remarked the young man with a smile. “I'm only the heir of the head.” —Red Certificate to Margaret Bell, age 13 years, Box 101, Havelock North. Papa: “Yes, my soil, if you want to learn anything you must begin at the bottom.” Little boy: “How about swimming, pa?” —Red Certificate to Edna Alorton, age 14 years. 301W. Frederick street, Hastings. A town clerk in the North had the misfortune to lose his leg. and being very much respected by the members of the Corporation they bought him an artificial subsiituie of the latest design. Some time afterwards he had the bad luck to hurt his other leg, and two old ladies belonging to the town were discussing the matter, when one remarked to the other: “Do you ken Janet, whether it’s his ain leg or the one that belongs to the toon that’s got hurt?” —Red Certificate to Elva Gigg, age 11 vears. 404 E Southampton street, Hastings. Tivo youthful anglers had tried the canal for some hours when one of them pulled out the first catch. “Look,” he called to his mate, “what a big ’uni I think it’s a salmon.” “Ger away,” said the ofher, salmon’s in tins.” —Grange Certificate to Dinah Redpath. age 13 years, Te Auto road, Havelock North