Joke Competition

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 19 November 1927, Page 14

Joke Competition

SENIORS. A timid young man who wan-ed to propose to" his girl but never dared, took her to his family plot in the cemetery and said: “Wouldn’t you like to be buried "here some day?” —Brize of 1/. to Joyce Lange, age II years, Heretaunga street. Hastings. Rag and Bone Man: ‘‘Any bones, rags; I’ll buy any old bones!” Mrs McWhiter (just out from Scotland) : “What are ye prepared to give me, young man. for the whole backbone of a herring?” —Red Certificate to Dorothy Farmery, age 11 years, Box 216, Hastings. “Be observant, my son.” said Willie’s father. “Cultivate .the habit of seeing and you will become a sue. cessful man.” “Yes. added Willie’s uncle. “Don’t go through life like a blind man. Learn to use your eyes.’’ “Little b-ys who are observant get on much faster than those who are not,” said Aunt Jane. The boy took the advice to heart and two days later stood before tee family council. “Well mv son, have you used your eyes?’’ said Willie’s father “Y’es," said Willie. “Uncle Jim’s got a bottle of wmsky behind his trunk. Aunt Jane's got an extra set of teeth in her dressing case,’’ and Dad’s got a pack of cards and a box of chips hid behind Emerson’s Essay in the bookcase.” “The little sneak,” exclaimed th* family with one voice. —Red Certificate to Hazel Batten, age 13 years. 66 Wakeman street. Pahiatua. The old genera] was walking down the street when he was stopped by » beggar. “Don’t refuse a trifle.’’ said th* latter. “I’m an old soldier,” “An old soldier, eh?” replied th* general. “Then I’ll give you a test Shun! Eyes right! Eyes front! Stand at ease! Now what comes next?” “Present alms,’’ retorted the beggar. —Red Certificate te Glyn Bale, age 11 years. Havelock North. “You know those chickens you xmt me the other week.” ‘Yes.” “Well they all got out as I was carting them from the station, and after searching the neighbourhood 1 only found ten." “Hush! 1 only sent you six!” —Orange Certificate to Betty Spenoe age 11 years. 910 Oliphant road. Hastings. Old Lady: “Why are you bowing to me, my young man? I do not know you!” Teddy: “I’m not bowing, ma’am. My stud has dropped down my neck, and I’m trying to get it back again.” —Orange Certificate to Laura Beale, age 13 407 Fitzrov Avenue, Hastings JUNIORS. Bobby had been warned never to ask for anything at the table. One day at dinner his mother quite forgot to serve him, and after waiting patiently for a while, he said timidly: "Mother, how long does it take a little boy to starve to death?” —Red Certificate to Joy Bale, age 6 years. Havelock North. Fritz: “Mummy, is it nearly twelve o’clock?” Mother: “Not nearly." Fritz: “Then my tummy must be fast.” —Red Certificate to Bernard Kirschberg. age M years. 603 Lascelles street. Hastings.