A LADY'S IDEAS ON MATRIMONY.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 18, Issue 1088, 7 August 1871, Page 2

A LADY'S IDEAS ON MATRIMONY.

Yes, I am Mrs James Merkins, and I sincerely wish I was Anne Marie Stubbs, spinster, with nothing but my own whims and humors to trouble me. Here am I, a comparatively young woman, with ten children. There is the baby, now, screaming as if live hundred needles had been run into him. People talk about the comfort of a baby ; queer idea of comfort some persons have ; perhaps they would think purgatory comfortable. Why, I never have one moment's freedom from anxiety, except when he is in my arms fast asleep ; not always then for his cheeks look a little redder than usual, I feel sure that a fever is coming on; or it his breathing seems slightly irregular, I am perfectly confident that it is the commencement of croup, that bugbear of ali young mothers. If he is on the floor he sticks everything he can rind into his mouth. I just took out two carpet tacks, and if he could only succeed in swallowing the hammer, his happiness would be perfect. Yesterday I found him sucking an old cigar-stump, and struggled manfully when I insisted upon relieving him of it. He is his father's own child, there is no doubt of that. If there is a pin on the floor he stumbles over it, his face constantly representing the national colors as faithfully as the flag itself —excess of patriotism more painful than pleasing. There's a red bump on his right temple ; aud as for his unfortunate little nose, it has endured as many bumps and bruises as that of a professional prize-fighter. From the purest Grecian it will certainly develop, through cruel usage, into an tinmistakeable Roman. He is always putting his little mischievous fingers into the cracks of the door; his left thumb has

been squeezed five times; it makes my flesh creep when I think of it, all the flesh that I have left, which is not much. What a fool I was to get married, there's Sarah S., just my age • she looks ten years younger, fat, smooth, and fair, and yet she imagines her trials are terrible. I would like to have her change places. with me for a while, and I rather think she would rush back into the arms of lonely spinsterhood, as a haven of celestial peace. Oh, dear, there's Charley coming, with big white spots on his knees. I made those pants just two weeks ago, out of cloth an inch thick, that I fondjy flattered myself would last three months at least ; but a very anxious mother knows what those two white spots forbode. He will play bear, and crawl on his knees. I have a great mind to sew a piece of leather over each knee, until the bear-fever subsides. I hear Sarah Jane and Mary Adeline quarrelling iu the parlor. I always know, when I see those two together, that anarchy and confusion will soon follow- I wonder where they got such tempers—from the Markings side, of course. Ma, always said her household was like a dove's nest. I am afraid she would compare mine to a den of wild cats; ail the children resemble Mr Merkius, except Angeline, and she's an angel; people say she's just like me. There's a scream from Harry ! I hope he hasn't fallen into the hot water ! it would be just like him —he has been scalded three times. I believe he and Sammy are coming down with measles; and i> crown all, Mr Merkius intends bringing a stranger home to dinner. I hate strangers ! and there isn't a morsel of meat iu the house ; we are out of bread also, and Mr Merkins grows savage at the sight of a sodafc-iscuit. It always, seems as if he selected the most inconvenient times to bring home company, and if everything isn't cornme il faut be sulks for a week. I sometimes think that my noble lord is more of a child than any of his sons, aid he expects them to be men by the time they three years old. Considerate creatures men are I Mr Merkius wants me to invite Miss Stanton here, so that he can enjoy her intellectual conversation. He says her mind is like a beautifully cultivated garden, " rich fbwers of thought," &e. 1 rather think, if she had married at sixteen, and had had a family like mine, the '* rich flowers of thought," wouldn't have blossomed quite so luxuriantly j cooking elaborate dinners for cross-grained men, and wiping irrepressible little noses, has rather a nipping effect upon flowers of that description, 1 can tell Mr Merkins.