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Hawke's Bay Times, Volume IX, Issue 472, 22 April 1867, Page 3

The Governor of South Australia ig seriously ill with the gout.

The Easiest Wat. —The easiest way to get a living, says a vagabond poet, is to sit on a gate and wait for good luck. In case good luck don’t come along you are no worse off than you were before. Oi.t> King Coee.—-It has beendigeovered that the respectable and world-renowned monarch, Old King Colo, was a descendant of Anthracite, and that his jolly old soul was nothing but shoe leather.

An officer, reproving a boatswain for perpetually swearing, the boatswain replied that he heard, the officers swear. “ Only in an emergency,” said the officer. “That’s just it,” replied the other, “ a boatswain’s life is a life of ’mergency." Cojtuxdkuji. —What is it that goes when a waggon goes, stops when a waggon stops, is no use to the w'aggon, and yet the waggon cannot go wituout it ?—Noise.

There see others Lies Him !—Phelira explains that, his wife and ho fell out because thty are of one mind—be wants to be master, and so does she.—American Paper. Cool. —The Portland Relief Committee tell of a man who two or three days ago applied for aid. lie was requested to answer several questionalike the following ; —“Did you lose your house and furniture by the fire?” “No.” “Was your place of business burned ?” “ No.” “ What grounds, then, do you ask aid upon?” “ Well, a man owed me a note ; that, man has lost all his pro pert y,and I had to settle with him at a discount, and I thought you might make it up to me.”—American Paper. 1 Printer's Bleeder. —By the substitution of an “f” for an “1,” a newspaper jparagraph was made to say that the Rev. IMr —— had received a calf from Maine, Ito be settled over a Congregational church 'at Portland.

Mes Diseaeli.—The “ Queen” tells very neatly a characteristic anecdote of A!** Disraeli:—“A statesman’s beet ally is clever wife; and, although one does not hear much about her, the wife of the present ChanceHor of the Exchequer is said to bo a very efficient helpmate. Some days ago a deputation went to Hughendon to ask Mr Disraeli to *v,„ . ” v “ &v mu ui.li au ouuic charitable dinner. They were received by the lady of the bouse, who, after hearing them, replied ‘ Well, gentlemen, I will lay what you say before Mr Disraeli, but i cannot give you much hope of a favorable answer; for what with this Reform BiU and one thing and another, he is so w “o fcUiiw ns has scarcely lime to sp-ak to me,' (Jf course it was not by accident that this little revelation was made, and it was very neatly done.”