GREAT LITERARY SALE.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 7, Issue 382, 4 June 1866, Page 2

GREAT LITERARY SALE.

(From Punch.) Though not disposed to go all lengths with Mr Bright, and to declare that America is Paradise, inhabited only by angels, we have no objection to take a hint from our Transatlantic relations. It seems that they sell the Dead Letters which lie at the Post Odices. A great sale of this kind has just taken place at New York, and all kinds of articles, found in the unclaimed despatches, have been got rid of by auction. It has occurred to Mr Punch, that in these days of dear meat and outrageous millinery, lie may as well turn an honest penny by the salo of Lead Letters ; that is, the effusions of ninety-eight per cch 1 . of his Correspondents. lie 'Hereby gives notice, therefore, that the first Dead Letter Sale will take place at a dale to be announced in future bills. Among the Letters will be found the following interesting lots : f ive hundred and ninety-seven bad jokes upon the name of Governor Lyre, recommending Jamaica to try change ot Lyre,” congratulating him on “ cutting the (Jordon knot,” &e. Nearly a thousand intimations (warranted original) nnat the Pope's Bull has got the Hinderpest. Pidy-thrce attempts at pathetic poetry on a siitj-ct which needs r.o bad v-r--o to insure its being remembered, the 10-s of the Loudon. A ton ot witticisms on Mr Lright's proposal to dine in undress with the Speaker, and about the same honorable member in ail sorts of raiment, or none at all. A hundredweight of vile sketches on the subject of Crinoline, mostly by small boys or great lads. Eighty-sis caricatures of Dr Pusey, with epigrams, the point which is usually Pussy. Ninety-seven caricatures of Mr Spurgeon, with epigrams, the point of which is usually Sturgeon. Forty-three protests against Lord Hassell’s trying to increase the respectability of his Ministry by taking a Duffer in. Heaps of Nights in Something or other, bad imitations of the Casual Great. A. Night in the Charing Cross Hotel, a Night in the Houso of Lords, a Night in a Nighlcellar, and similar rubbish, are among those. Several thousand obvious attempts on the part of auctioneers, hotel keepers, local nobodies, quack doctors, and the like, to obtain the awful puff which a paragraph in Punch would give them. The usual dodge is to send a letter, purporting to come from somebody who is surprised or offended at the proceedings of the fellow who wants the puff, bogging that Mr i’unch will “show up” such a character. Many hundreds of old jokes (sworn to have been heard on the date of the letters,), with requests for the smallest remuneration, as the senders are “ hard up.” Great numbers of dirty-edged MSS. with clean notes accompanying them, the former having unmistakeabiy been rejected by our friends of the daily and weekly newspaper press. Such correspondents may not be aware that an editor, when dismissing a MS., inserts a private mark, for the benefit of the next editor, and that murk means “ Eubbish.”

Jokes carefully transcribed from early volutnnea of Mr Punch. He may as well mention that ho keeps a Memory Boy, who knows every line in The Volumes, and who has never been' at fault, except twice, on both of which occasions he was immediately put to death. Two thousand letters enclosing things which the writers admit to be under the mark, but which they bog may be inserted as encouragement to young beginners, who may do better hereafter. Several hundred letters from snobs who havo not even yet discovered that Mr Punch arose to smite down the scandalous press, not to imitateit. The names of persons libelled by such writers are carefully expunged by Mr Punch, but those of the scoundrels who send the letters remain for exposure. Hitherto Mr Punch has been burning the rubbish above described, but in future he intends to sell it. Purchasers must remove the lots at their own risk of mental demoralisation.