Amusing and Instructive.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 7, Issue 340, 11 January 1866, Page 1

Amusing and Instructive.

Something- Quite New.— lt will be seen by our naval appointments that the Admiralty have adopted the sensible plan of paying off several of her Majesty’s ships stationed at Hongkong, and re-commissioning them on the spot. The step is decidedly an improvement on the old plan of ordering ships home at the expiration of their ordinary term of commission, and pulling them them to pieces, even when they were in a state of thorough ellicieney.—Army and Navy Gazette. Humbug.—Everybody, perhaps, is not acquainted with the etymology of the word “humbug.” It is a corruption of Hamburg, and originated in the following maimer;—During a period when war prevailed on the continent, so many false reports and lying bulletins were fabricated at Hamburg, that at length, when any one would signify his disbelief of a statement, he would sty, “you had that from Hamburg,” and thus “ that is Hamburg,” or “ Humbug, 1 became a common Word expressive of incredulity. Tum Dibdin and the Lozenge.—Tom Dibdin had a cottage near Box Hill, to which, after his theatrical labors, ha was delighted to retire. Oise etonny night, after Mr and Airs Dibdin had been in bed some time, Mrs D., being kept awake by the violence of the weather, aroused her husband, exclaiming, “ I'om, Tom, get up ! ” “ What for ?” said he. “Don’t you hear how very bad the wind is?” “is it?” replied Dibdin, half asleep, bur could not help punning ; “ put a peppermint lozenge out of the window, my dear; it is the best thing in the world for the wind.” A Sheepish Compliment. —Lord Cockburn, the proprietor of Bonaly, was sitting on the hillside with a shepherd, and observed to him, “ John, if I were a sheep, I, would lie on the other side of the hill.” The shepherd answered, “ Alt, my lord, but if ye had been a sheep ye would hue had inair sense.” tiUBMARiNE Cables.—ln Europe, Asia, Africa, and Australia there are 52 submarine cables, which are of the aggregate length of 5,625 miles, and the insulated wires of which measure 9,783 miles. The longest of these is 1,550 fathoms, and the shortest li fathom. There are 95 submarine cables in the United States and British North America w hich measure 68 miles. A Condensed Novel. —Josh, here am a seafaring novel, dat missis gib me, caie she know’d I was 100 lazy to read the whale book! and, by golly, it am just de ting for dese people dat lub to skip ober such stuff! Just read it;—Gulf of Mexico; smalt ship; young man ; very interesting; very romantic; black glossy curls ; aquiline features ; florin. complexion ; commanding figure ; black clouds; “Tips all hands to quarters;” storm coining on ; very* dangerous; “All hands to the pumps “ There goes the jib ;” masts cut away; storm clearing ; all bands pumping ; monster ship ia the distance ; very suspicious; black flag; skull mid cross bones ; pirate; sailors fearful; young'"man dotermind ; bound to die or perish in the attempt; armed to the teeth; addresses the sailors-..great enthusiasm ; flag of the free; die lor our country; pirate approaches; hundred guns; pirate captain; big whiskers; crew ali fiends ; calls for a surrender; young man scorns ; broadside; female shrieks on board the pirate ship; beauty in distress ; young man vows vengeance ; young man’s ship sinking; flag shot off; nails it to the mast; crew leave in boats; board the pirate; te riiic combat; seven pirates attack boatswain ; kills two with a chaw of tobacco ; throws others overboard ; sharks around vessel; young man kids pirate captain; pirates give in ; shouts tremendous ; victory ; young man rushes into cal in ; finds young lady nearly dead ; brings her to ; faffs in Jove ; papers discovered ; young man son of nobleman ; young lady rich heiress ; tells her story ; was stolen away by gipsies ; sold to pirate captain ; Heaven sent young man ; preserved ; falls on iter knees ; young man embraces her ; sailors get drunk; marriage at sea ; “ Life on the ocean wave ship in port*; young man promoted; land of liberty. “ inukecDoodic !” Tin is.—The American Joe Miller.