Amusing and Instructive.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 7, Issue 338, 4 January 1866, Page 1

Amusing and Instructive.

At the present moment it may be intere'.ting to know that, according to the last revised register, the number of electors in England and Wales in counties and boroughs is 1,027,017. T]ie Parlimentury electors in boroughs number 491,229. In Scotland the number in counties is 49,109, and in cities, boroughs, and towns, 52,628. In Ireland, there are 173,172 electors in counties, and 30,673 in cities and boroughs. ~ ———— _ Fame is an undertaker that pays hut little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave. Discoed about a Coed. — A Scotch parson, in the time of the Pump Parliament, said in his prayer: “ Laird, bless the council, the Parliament, and grant that they may all hang together.” A country fellow standing by replied, “Yes, sir, with all my heart, the sooner the better, and I am sure it is the prayer of all good people.” “But, friends,” said the parson. “ 1 don’t moan as that fellow does ; I pray that they may hang together in accord and concord.” “ I don’t care, what cord," replied the other, “ so ’tis but a strong one.” What would probably be the latest act of a pastry-cook ? His last puff. A country editor thinks that Richelieu, who dedared that “ the pen was mightier than the sword,” ought to have spoken a good word for ‘ scissors.’ Jerrold called “scissors” and editor’s steel pen. Curran’s ruling passion was his joke. In his last illness his physician, observing in the morning that he seemed to cough with more difficulty he answered, “That is rather surprising, as I have been practising all night.” A traveller confesses to have ridden forty miles with the sweet and interesting Mrs Hines, whom, notwithstanding his fastidiousness, he would have kissed, but for three reasons, which he thus gives : —“ First, I am such a good husband, I wouldn’t even he guilty of the appearance of disloyalty to my sweet wife ; secondly, I was afraid our fellow passengers would see me and tell Hines ; third, I do not think Mrs Hines would let mo.” A Poek CosTEACXOTt’s Statue —The Paris correspondent of the Daily Telegraph (London) has the following in one of his recent letters:— A celebrated pork contractor for the Federal army presented himself a short time back at a sculptor’s atelier in Rome, and stated his intention of sending a durable memento of himself to adorn his native place in America. With an amiable candour he explained to the artist that he had begun life as a poor boy, selling matches, and by lucky speculations had attained his present greatness. “ Jfow,” he continued, “I’ve seen a muniment in this city as suits my views to a nicety. A kinder column with little figures runnin’ up all round it, and a chap at the fop.” “ Trajan’s column,” suggests the artist. “P’raps it maybe; an’ I wish you to sculp me jes sich another, a workin’ out the whole o’ my biograff, beginning at the bottom with a-selliu’, matches, and then keep on windin’ It up till it ends with me in an easy attitood at the top.” Be Punctual. —The listless, irregular, and un- _ punctual man, though often good-natured, and pleasing, and kind, and inoffensive, is nevertheless the mere play tiling of society, a mere means of amusement, often wanted, but little valued ; ho is generally left behind in the race of human life, daily laboring under disadvantages which result from habits ; and the rest of mankind, if they do not condemn or despise him, yet make him the object of their wayward pity. Pitt's Investment.— An Irishman being told that a friend of his had put money in the stocks. ” Well,” said he, “ I never had a farthing in the stocks; but I hare had roy legs In them often eao ugh.’