SHINGLES FROM AN OLD ROOF.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume IV, Issue 196, 14 October 1864, Page 3

SHINGLES FROM AN OLD ROOF.

BY A FREE AND EASY SHINGLER. ANNO DOMINO, 1881. The Old Shingler is an eccentric individual as my fond public, with more than usual sagacity, have ere now discovered. He told you, my dears, when he split his preliminary shingle, that his wares would turn out a mixed lot, and would have to be taken as they came, as Mr. Joseph Miller’s proverbial little boy disposed of his own peculiar grievances. And he has not deceived you. He will still “pursue the even tenor of his way,” undisturbed by the scornful nez retrousse of Mrs. Lofty, and heedless of the spiteful objurgations of Mr. Dolt. He cares not a bawbee for the pretended detections of any number of bush wallabies, and is quite indifferent to the groundless accusations of Consonant, M. (I question whether such a name was bestowed by a respectable godfather). As Mr. Patriarch Casby would say —I please to write, and write to please, and if you, my dear Sir or Madam, do not read to be pleas ed, perhaps you will be pleased not to read.

Now, amongst other eccentricities which have descended through successive generations of Shingles to the present representative of that illustrious family, is a wellgrounded belief in spiritual mediums. Pray, don’t misunderstand me. Ido not refer to the absurd superstition commonly called by that name. I sincerely hope that all my forbears are much better employed than in answering silly questions by tapping on an old table. I agree with the sentiment expressed by the dying man, who, when requested by a neighbor to deliver sundry messages to his dear Thomas in heaven, pertinently asked :—Dost thee think I shall ha’ nothing else to do but to go clumping up aud down the skies, looking for thy Turnmas ?” (By the way, Dean Piamsay tells this story, or one like it; but it is far more ancient than his reverence.) No; the medium whereof I speak is a good, kind, gentle spirit, which I release from imprisonment by the aid of a mysterious implement, very like a corkscrew. In all incantations it is desirable to burn incense, or produce a smother of some sort; so, by moans which I must not publicly disclose, I cause a fragrant steam to arise from the crystal wherein my familiar spirit reposes. Then, as the grateful fumes ascend, I become possessed of the faculty of second sight, and the illimitable future is revealed to me in a dream.

It was under this influence that I “ assisted” at the opening of the New Town Hall and Corn Exchange at Fairfax, in the year of our Lord, 1881 ; and subsequently sat down (in company with three hundred jolly farmers, two hundred townsfolk, and ninetynine visitors), to a sumptuous repast provided by mine host, of the King Edward Hotel. The salmon was done to a turn, the venison was in splendid condition, and the. partridges and other game were delicious. The cloth being removed, &c., the usual royal toasts were given and received with great enthusiasm, the superb band of the Ist Royal Kingsland Volunteer Guards playing the National Anthem in fine style. By and bye the worthy Mayor arose in all the plentitude of his scarlet robes, and called upon the Old Shingler to propose the next toast. Immense applause ensued, and on its subsidence, I delivered the following very remarkable speech;— “ Mr. Mayor and Gentlemen, —As I rode through this important and flourishing district on my way to join in the festivities of to-day, my mind insensiblj reverted to former times, and I could not avoid contrasting the present aspect of the country with that which it presented twenty years since, when the counties of Bruce and Wallace constituted what was then known as the Province of

Otago, before the Middle Island was formed into the Colony of Kingsland. At that period which immediately followed the discovery of our gold fields, our farmers seemed to possess hut one idea, namely, how to grow the largest possible quantity of oats. Wheat was rarely tried, and then only to an insignificant extent. And barley was almost unthought of. For a brief while, oats paid well enough; but the day soon came when other countries glutted our markets, and the price of oats fell to an unprofitable figure. At the same time, flour—for which we entirely depended on Australia and Chili, was so dear that the four-pound loaf sold for a shilling and eighteenpence in Dunedin, and for from half-a-crown to four shillings on the far away gold fields. The “ New Iniquities” declared that the “ Old Identities” breakfasted, dined, and supped on oaten parritch ; and some of us did, in truth, get the largest part of our provender from the girnel. And there was a notion abroad that wheat could not be grown here in as great perfection as in the Australian colonies. But we know better, and we feed better now. (Loud cheers.) We not only grow wheat sufficient for our own consumption, but have a surplus for exportation, and our flour, though perhaps not quite so dry as Victorian flour, is yet equal in all other respects to that grown in any part of the world —equal in sweetness, fuller in the grain, and more nutritious. And the 4-lb, loaf is only sixpence ! (Great cheering.) Barley—for the growth of which our soil and climate is peculiarly well adapted—has become one of our staple commodities. We now supply all New Zealand and the Australian colonies with malt; for barley can neither be grown nor malted there in perfection. Not only so, but instead of depending for hops on chance shipments from England and America, they now derive their supplies from our hop-gardens, which I will venture to say will vie with any in Kent. And in place of importing inferior, drugged beer from Britain, we brew our own, from our own produce and export large quantities annually, both to the Colony of Priucesylvania, in the Northern Island, and to Australia; where the light, wholesome ales of O’Bourke, and Marland and Copeshall are with justice preferred to the heavy stupefying English commodity. I can safely say, that in no part of His Majesty’s dominions is better beer brewed, and I am supposed to be a pretty good judge.—(Much cheering.) Then as to whisky—Some of us remember when a small potation called Kirkliston was considered prime tipple, and a taste of real Campbellton was a luxury. But who now dreams of using any other than the production of our own distilleries, than which man never tasted better ?—(Loud and continuous cheers.) “So also with regard to dairy produce. Less than twenty years ago we imported all our cheese; and fresh butter was so scarce that a very inferior article was sold at half-a-crown a pound. Now we have our own prime 1 Stilton’ and home-made ‘ Cheddar ;’ and butter (with a dash of salt in it to render it acceptable to educated palates), is only ninepence the pound. Fowls, which then fetched ten and twelve shillings a couple, are now plentiful at four shillings, and eggs are to be had for as many pence per dozen as they formerly cost shillings. (Cheers.) “ Owing to the greater attention now paid to the cultivation of root-crops, such as beet, mangold, and Swedes, not only is the price of meat reduced, but it is also improved in quality. Twenty years since a shilling, and sometimes more, was actually charged for both beef and mutton by the Dunedin butchers. (Sensation.) Now, as you all know, fourpence is about the average price, and if it rises to sixpence we consider ourselves greatly injured. (Here a slightly “ tooted” individual created a disturbance, and was ignorainiously expelled.) “ Then, again, look at our orchards and fruit gardens. Why, twenty years ago there was not such a thing in the place ; at that time hundreds of cases of withered imported fruit —codlings and musty pears—were sold by auction every week, and retailed at enormous prices after much careful polishing by the vendors. Peaches and plums were only known by tradition, and cherries were merely grown for bird consumption. Even gooseberries and currants were far from plentiful, and strawberries were as scarce and almost as dear as gold. But we produce all these now in abundance —nay, more than that, we export large quantities of gooseberries, currants, and strawberries to Australia, where they do not flourish as with us. And as to fresh vegetables, which are now everywhere procurable at reasonable rates, they were for a long time such expensive luxuries that the working classes scarcely knew of them ex-

cept by name. Few people thought of cultivating them in any quantity. The great vegetable garden of Dunedin was to be found

in a dingy wooden alley of small hucksters, oyster saloons, and cheap slop-shops. To this aggregation of fusty dens—which occupied the site of the present handsome and commodious Market House—was imported the stale and unwholesome produce of Tasmania and Victoria. Strong flavoured yellow cabbages in an advanced stage of decomposition, shrivelled peas and wiry French beans, very limp and fizzenless, decayed cucumbers and spongy carrots —such were the delicacies then retailed at prices which would now be regarded as fabulous—(Cheers and laughter.) “ Let us, rejoice, gentlemen, that we have at length fallen on better days. Let us hail with becoming thankfulness and satisfaction the abundant evidences of progress and prosperity that everywhere meet our gaze- And let us all labor earnestly and zealously—with hand and- heart—with tongue and pen in aiding still further the onward course of this our country. And, gentlemen, we cannot possibly do this more effectually than by fostering and promoting that great interest, which by reducing the cost of the necesaries of life, by increasing our daily comfort, and by furnishing our tables with an adequate supply of health-preserving food, has made Kingsland a desirable field for emigration and settlement ; which has rendered possible the profitable pursuit of numberless avocations formerly unknown amongst us ; and has so materially assisted in causing the least prolific of our fields to yield more steadily remunerative returns for the investment of capital and labor, than were ever obtainable from the richest districts in the old days of high prices and unsystematic operations. Gentlemen, I call upon you to render due honor to ‘ The Agricultural Interests of Kingsland !’ ” Here the Old Shingler resumed his seat amidst a tremendous tempest of applause from the three hundred jolly farmers, the two hundred canny townsfolk, and the ninetynine visitors. The tumult was at length stilled by the band of the Ist Royals, which crashed out an appropriate piece of music. Then ajburly, broad-shouldered gentleman, with an intensely rubicund visage, got up to reply ; but just as he had properly cleared his throat, and was about to commence, the Old Shingler incautiously elevated his elbow at such an extreme angle that the magic crystal was utterly drained of its contents, and he immediately found himself under the “ Old Roof”—groaning in spirit over a batch of house-keeping bills, which his beloved Martha had considerately placed on the breakfast table.