MENDEZ PINTO, CAGLIOSTRO, AND COMPANY

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume IV, Issue 185, 29 July 1864, Page 3

MENDEZ PINTO, CAGLIOSTRO, AND COMPANY

Beg to call the attention of the trade in Auckland and the adjoining provinces, to the various advantages which they are enabled to offer to those favouring them with orders.

Mendez Pinto resides in London, and is perfectly acquainted with colonial requirements. “In consequence of information received” he is about to send out a large assortment of the following articles, chiefly for the use of the natives.

“ Large-minded benovolence”—a neat thing in cloaks a la Tartuffe. A fool’s cap, for the use of Ministers, designed by Mr. Cardwell. A gross of green spectacles, much used in England for viewing colonial subjects—a Maori seen through them appears white. and spotless, a colonist quite black. A Janus hat, suitable to any double-faced personage high in office. Brummagem buttons, for Responsible Ministers, who will wear the new Imperial Livery.

Prunella shoes, adapted to kick honest men out of office; they conceal all malformations, such as cloven hoofs, and will fit all elderly ladies. Corsets, warranted to impede all freedom of movement and produce Atrophy. Invented by the Colonial Office, and much admired by weak persons in their second childhood.

Also, Secret Despatch Boxes, for the use of Political Sneaks with the motto “ Made Virtute ,” in gilded brass. VYe call particular attention to our fine assortment of moral pocket handkerchiefs, suitable for presents to rebel natives. These beautiful articles have been manufactured under the superintendence of Professor Goldwin Smith, acting on behalf of the Aboriginies Protection Society- Each handkerchief contains a short verse in sympathetic ink. Yv T e give a few specimens, and can assure the public that all express sentiments which it is well known her Majesty’s Ministers are extremely anxious to impress on the native mind. The ground colour of the handkerchiefs is red, as it is desirable to call to the recollection of the natives the red coats they have riddled. The white feather over each

verse, followed by the word Cession, will be understood by every Maori. We have read in a book Or heard Pakeha’s say That those who would dance The piper must pay ; But we, having judgments decidedly riper, Will dance when we please and make you pay the piper. Till we were told, we didn’t know How badly we were used ; But now we know it, hang it! blow it! ! Rebellion’s quite excused. The Pakeha’s Queen Is exceedingly green. And knows nothing at all about UTU ; So fight when you choose, For your sure not to lose Anything more than may suit you. Send away from your pas Your revered grand-mammas, Who eat, though too tough to be eaten, And when the war’s over, You shall all live in clover, As payment for having been beaten. As a large demand for “ flour and sugar” is anticipated, a branch establishment for this department of business may be opened at Government House. A Great Clearing off Sale at a “ ruinous sacrifice” (of colonial interests) will probably take place shortly. For further particulars apply at the office of the New Zealander, or at Government House. N.B.—A large quantity of strong incense always on hand—its composition is similar to that offered up before the Golden Calves, who, according to Dr. Colenso, were much pleased with it. Persons having heads like those of the images referred to will pronounce it excellent.— Wellington Independent, July