OUR LONDON LETTER.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume III, Issue 158, 22 January 1864, Page 2

OUR LONDON LETTER.

In compliance with your request, and in conformity with my promise, I hasten to fulfil my long outstanding agreement; and shall, I hope, by the veracity of my information, and by the quantity of news and gossip which I have to communicate, make you forget my long delay in the interest which I shall excite. ON DIT. Ton are aware that I am a constant visitor at Buckingham Palace when her Majesty the Queen is in town, and that it is my custom, taking advantage of a general invitation to that effect, to dine there pretty often. Now, as a rule the dinners are tolerably good, but I have had reason to complain that, amongst other trifles, such as indifierent Burgundy and doubtful Moselle, there is generally a deficiency of—gravy to the mutton. I incidentally mentioned this defect in the culinary arrangements of the Palace to Her Majesty, and she was graciously pleased to say that she would personally see to the remedying of the gross detect of which I so properly complained. Talking of Her Majesty, Buckingham Palace, and mutton, naturally enough recalls to ray mind a lengthy conversation which I had with the Queen relative to the state of affairs in NewZealand generally, but more particularly with respect to Hawke’s Bay, of which place Her Majesty assured me she had heard a great deal, and in which shetook a great interestasbeingthebirthplacc of that great literary effort the if.B. Times. Her Majesty was pleased to observe that she had long intended paying a visit to Napier, as, judging from your advertisement sheet, she was particularly struck with its wealth and importance. To this last proposition I replied that I should be delighted to give Her Majesty a letter of introduction to the spirited proprietor of the celebrated journal to which she referred, without which, or some other equally good passport, I had my doubts about Her Majesty’s reception by the charming society of that city, for I assured Tier Majesty that that society was extremely select and exclushe, and never admitted ong one without a proper and formal introduction. In proof of which I told her astonished Majesty that on ono occasion the Pacha of Egypt, the Emperor of the French, accompanied by His Holiness the Pope and the President of America, were refused admission to the club because they travelled incog., and had no letters of introduction to any of the eminent citizens, and w r ere, in fact, rather a seedy looking lot. At which her Most Gracious Majesty was extremely gratified, observing that if all those ragamuffins had met with a cold reception, Napier must indeed be a charming place, with a charming people. I, however, felt myself compelled to add that I believed this unceremonious treatment of anything in the shape of royalty on the part of the good folks of Napier was not to bo attributed to a want of becoming veneration for that article in the abstract, but to tho ambitious designs of a certain great man now at the head of affairs in those parts, who, being supported by an army composed of about twenty squatters, and about 150 Government officials and a small herald or trumpeter, had it in view to claim the crown of Hawke’s Bay himself, and to wear it as soon as it could be got made to fit him. After this I withdrew, backwards, of course. My intimate friend Newcastle offered me the other day the Governorship of your Island, stating that he was not at all satisfied with Grey, and had determined to give him the “ sack,” and that if I did not take it, why, lie supposed somebody else would. To which I modestly replied, “ My dear Newcastle, if the Governorship of that Island and its inhabitants is too much for him, G. Grey I fear it will be too much for me, J. Tomkins.” ’ SPORTING. It is confidently reported in well-informed circles that His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales is going to ride the favorite for tho next Derby, and that that illustrious Prince has gone into active training under the especial care of Lord Pa—ra I—n. , Apropos of training, I suppose you have heard that the great fight between King and Heenan is to be under the especial auspices of two great Ecclesiastical dignitaries of different denominations. It is looked upon by those enlightened prelates as a great theological question, which is the best man, so one backs Heenan and the other King. Amongst the matters under this heading which are creating some interest, is a match made by the Lord Chancellor against time, to carry a case through the Court of Chancery. Considerable sums are laid upon this event; the last quotations of tho betting being 30 to I against the Chancellor. POLICE. I witnessed a most exciting scene tho other day, under this head. As I was returning from my

stroll or rather struggle to get a view of the Lord Mayor’s T saw a refractory and excited individual being'rarried off in the hands of the police, upon the charge, as those officials affirmed, of being “ drunk and disorderly.” He, however, asserted the contrary, and told the Bobbies that he iwas the special correspondent of a certain newspaper published in your parts, which he called a p—p —ower —ful G—g—o—ve—r—r—mm—ent O—o—r—gan; and that if they did’nt let him go, in his next letter to that journal, he would “ sliow them up.” This threat rather staggered the simple-minded officers, who would most certainly have let him go after that statement, not exactly knowing but thatjthey might have made] a mistake, and “ taken up” a real “ correspondent” to some really important paper. But I reassured them by saying that I knew the paper to which the drunken delinquent referred very well, and that as nobody ever read it, they need | not be alarmed, and that its correspondence was generally considered mythical. THE MILIENIUJI. I am told that there is to be a general convocation of delegates from all the denominations of the Christian faith, to be held at Exeter Hall, the Pope being in the chair, to hear Mr. Spurgeon preach a sermon, sing a comic song, and dance a hornpipe all at the same time. This looks like a “ sign of the times,” truly. In connexion with this it is rumored that all the Jews have gone to Jerusalem, but that they don’t half like it. Money is scarce, and there is not much to be done in the paper line, so they think of going back again. THE STATE OF EUEOPE. Your last tremendous leader upon the great squatting question has had a powerful effect upon the state of matters on the Continent. The Emperor of the French and Lord Para, supported by the German states, and all the other “ small holdings” go in for Cain, while the Emperors of Russia and Austria go in for “ Abel.” These t sro last potentates having stated it as their intention so soon as they have depopulated Poland, to go into partnership in the sheep-farming line in that fine country. A general war is hourly expected. Large masses of troops are being moved about in all directions, and immense fleets of stupendous vessels are continually on the move. It is expected that the first hostile movement made will be a ■ general melee amongst the “ Great Cain Alliance.” At least that’s what that great squatter the Emperor of Russia devoutly hopes, he being the head of the “ Abel Confederacy.” ENGLAND is in a state of happy bewilderment upon all sorts of subjects, particularly as to the precise time and exact place when and where the French will effect a landing. SCOTLAND is in a healthy state of activity, as usual, upon theological subjects. A man was brought up before the Presbytery the other day, and fined one pound and ordered to do penance for carrying a walking stick on Sunday, which article was looked upon as “ a device of Satan to ensnare the unwary.” High moral training! IRELAND is in bliss. The peasantry have succeeded in shooting the last landlord, and now they are revelling in a delightful state of poteen, potatoes, and dirt, and all goes well, as merry as a marriage bell. CONCLUSION. But I will conclude by stating that at a great meeting held at Exeter Hall the other day, it was determined to send out an armed expedition to support the Maorics, and that Bishop S— be requested to take command. .Amongst other weapons of a formidable nature, and which is expected to do great execution upon General Cameron’s forces, is an immense howitzer, which will carry a shell filled with Gcwt. of tracts, intermixed with various specimens of translations of the Bible. It is confidently expected that the effect of the explosion of this infernal machine amongst Cameron’s blood-thirsty marauders can be more easily imagined than described.