THE MILITIA OFFICERS AND THE AWKWARD SQUAD.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume III, Issue 152, 11 December 1863, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE MILITIA OFFICERS AND THE AWKWARD SQUAD.

To the Editor of the Advertiser. Wellington, Nov. 2G, ISG3. Sir, — A member of our Provincial Council, now a Militiaman, but formerly all itie Volunteer, characterized the old Wellington Militia as neither useful nor ornamental; this will not hold good now, insomuch as our Major commanding has brought the present corps to'a high slate of efficiency, but there are certain appendages attached to it to which, I think, the above phrase might still be applied. Major Gorton, previous to his going up the country, gave notice that he ■would, on his return, require each officer to p-ove his company. This was a seasonable hint if they had chosen to profit by it. The Major resumed 3iis duty on Tuesday last, which lie never fails to perform conscientiously and well; after putting the company which drills on that day through its evolutions, which it performed very creditably, • he said, “ Come forward the Lieutenant, and put the company through the manual exercise,” the Lieut, came forward and gave the word “ Secure arms;” the men endeavored to come to the “secure,” but the rear-rank not having been put back, the muzzles of their rifles came in contact with the shoulders of (he men in the front, and of course could not be got into the required position. Several other commands had similar success. “ Pall out the Ensign,” said the Major, “ and put the company through the platoon exercise the Ensign tell out, and, determined not to make the blunders of the Lieutenant, he said, “Rear-rank one pace step back.” “You never open the ranks in the platoon exercise,” said the Major“ well, go on —do you know anything about it?” “I have got rather adrift,” said the Ensign ; “Well,” said the Major, “Go into the awkward squad.” The Lieutenant was put forward again, but it ended in his being also put into the awkward squad. These gents have no excuse ; they have been receiving the country’s money for doing nothing. Their pay is exactly like the officers of the liritish Army. And, will it be credited, they are paid for every day, while the men are paid only for the days of drill. 1 shall be glad, Mr. Editor, if you will assign any cause for this monstrous absurdity. The Captain was not fell out; that sagacious gentleman, probably foreseeing an affair of this kind, had mode himself tolerably well acquainted with the drill. Let the rest take warning by this example, and get hold of their drill books as quickly as possible, or they will suruly be put in the awkward squad like their brethren. I am. &c., A MILITIAMAN. Nov. 26, 1863. [We think the Major commanding the Napier Militia might apply the above test beneficially to some of the officers under hia command.— Ed. H.B.T.']

Seuvinu- a Writ.—A ludicrous incident occurred when Carter, the lion-king, 113 he was called, was exhibiting with Ducrow at Aal ley’s. A manager with home Carter had made and broken an engagement issued a writ against him. The bailiffs came to the stage-door and asked for Carter. “Show the gentlemen up,” said Ducrow; and when they reached the stage there sat Carter composedly in the great cage, with an enormous lion on each side of him. “ There’s Mr. Carter waiting for you, gentlemen,” said Ducrow, “go in and take him. Carter, my boy, open the door.” Carter proceeded to obey, at the same time eliciting by a private signal, a tremendous roar from his companions. The bailiff's staggered back in terror, rolled over each other as they rushed down stairs, and nearly fainted before they reached the street.

Tito Medical Times and Gazette, of July IS, publishes a remarkable account of a curative treatment by Dr. John Chapmen, of epilepsy and paralysis, and all diseases depending on the circulation of the blood, so far ns that is affected by the “ sympathetic nerve.” lie stimulates and depresses the sympathetic and cevebro-spiual nervous systems at will by applying heat, or ice in India-rubber bags, to the back of the head and the different ganglia or nervous centres, and gives a very extraordinary account of the success he has had in this way with the worst cases of epilepsy, and some of paralysis. For example a girl, aged fourteen, who came for treatment on the 25rd April last, was then having, on an average, four fils an hour, or about forty-eight a day, and several also at night. During the first week of treatment, she had fifty fits ; during the second, when she was troubled with toothache, and had two teeth extracted, sixty-five; during the third, forty-seven; during the fourth, thirty-seven; the fifth, twenty-six ; the sixth, eleven ; the seventh, ten ; (hoeighth, eight ; (he ninth, five; the tenth, six; and the week ended 10th -J uly, only two. Other cases were not so bad as this, but almost as striking, if accurately reported, are detailed. If tile treatment produce permanent cures, it is one of the most remarkable discoveries of medical science. If it only alleviate for a tone, it is of the highest value. UxCEiiTAT-vri- oe Facing, In the year 1535, n race was run at Goodwood, in which there was something remarkable in the proceeding# and result of it. The race we allude to was King's Guineas, for which two only started, namely, Lucifer and Rockingham, the latter having won almost in a canter, the cup on a previous day. Three other horses were also weigiied for, and although none of them actually started, the circumstance, as also the uncertanty that existed whether Rockingham would start or not, up to the last moment, caused considerable fluctuation in the betting—the odds at one moment being laid against five animals, and shifting and only quoted against two. Rockingham and Lucifer, however, were the only two competitors, and when they started there was five to one on the first, and three and four to one against the second. In the race, Rockingham led at a moderate pace, but at, the distance-post, had completely distanced Lucifer, who was ten or a dozen lengths behind him ; seeing this, and hearing Forth eall out to the hoy who rode l.uciler—Lwitchett—to pull up, Robinson began to ease his horse, under an impression, which was shared in generally by (hose looking on. that he had only to canter up to the post,. The rider of Lucifer, however, instead of pulling up as ordered kept his horse going, #0 that when Rockingham reached the stand, there was not half the difference between the two that there was at the dis-tance-post; and Twltchclt, at this moment making a desperate rush, completely took Robinson by surprise within a few yards of the winningpost, and before the latter could get Ins hor.-e inaction, had won the race by two lengths, to the niter astonishment of every person on the course ! To show the forlorn chances of Lucifer's winning when at: the distance po;t, we may stale that a bet of £T(iO to half'-a-crowu was actually laid on Rockingham at the stand. Am exactly similar ease, as regards result, occurred between o. Rogers aad Fordham, the former on Wild Rose and the latter on Amy, at the Newmarket, first. October meeting of the past year, when the latter was so distressed at his unexpected unaccountable defeat, that it was some days before all the. soolhings or his friends could make George himself again. And at Doncaster for the groat St. Leger of 1802, a race, quite unexpected as to result, oeeurrod, when Mr. Pet res Theodore took it into his head to run contrary to (lie opinions of owner, trainer jockey, and everybody else who entertained an opinion upon the matter. ’ This horse, it appears, had run well as u two-year-old, but his performances just previous to the great race had been so wretched, that dackson, his jockey, was wandering about the course, it is s :id, almost heartbroken, at his miserable chance for the race, because Sir. Potre had claimed his right to his services as his first, master. Mr. Potre himself, it was also staled, had been fortunate enough to get rid ol his betting book, with a bonus, by banding it over to a gentleman whom lie had induced to take it with its risks ; and The jockey's spirits were not enlivened by hearing odds of a hundred guineas against a walking-:-!iek, value one shilling, had been hud against the horse he was to ride. In the race itself, Theodore completely upset all previous calculations, for Jackson managed to get | well oil at Hie start, kept, Ids horse going, and fii rally, amidst great excitement and astonishment, j landed his horse first (last the winning-post.— j llorse-raciiia, its history and early Bedews.

SiNGILAK IiOIOI OF OATH.— r J he following is the literal translation of flic form of oath tendered to (ho natives a! Tiiiihan : “I , am thoroughly consenting. I swear truly-, I stick truly to (,'ucon Victoria—like (his God will strongl'mli me-.” lIOLT.OWAV’e ruxs.— lfClnnKSTlOS AM) lav till CoMI'I.AI'.TS. —The digest ion cannot lie lona or so.iou-iv disordered without the derangement being iicvccntitjle on the conntci a ice. These Pills prevent both unpleasant consequences; they improve the appetite, and the iuena-e of desire lor food, they augment the powers of digess ion and assimilation in the stomach. Ihn.oway's Pill's deal ino.-t sati.- lae(orily with deranged or diseased conditions of (lie many organs engaged in extracting nourishment I'm- our bodies from onr various dulls- as the liver, stomach, and bowels over all of which they exercise the most salutary control! by resorting, at an early stage of Ids malady, In these purb tying and laxative Pills, the dispeptie is speedily restored to health and strength and bis sallownesa gradurllv vanishes.— Advt.

A Wou.T) ABOUT DUB AMINO. —-With far the most of us the land of dreams is a strange independent land, and our sleeping life unaccountably cut off from our waking one. Words niav waken but they seldom influence us. Wo bear, and do not understand ; there is a break between the minds of the speaker and the sleeper ; the sounds are not interpreted by the bruin. This is the more curious, as many persons talk in their sleep; the tongue abeys the thought, although the ear will not convey it except, as I have said, in very rare instances. Perhaps the most curious tiling connected with dreams is that experience does not correct them. People who, when their eyes are open, go about quietly on the face of t’ % e earth, ordering their carriages, paying’their cab faro, or trudging in the dust, fly' in their dreams. Some people lead not only a distinct, but a continued life in tleir dreams. They take t! 1 e thread np for several consecutive nights, with a consciousness that, they are dreaming. Most dreams, however, are distinct. They may be repeated, but are without connection. —Once a Week.