“STOP MY PAPER."

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume III, Issue 139, 11 September 1863, Page 5 (Supplement)

“STOP MY PAPER."

(From the Canterbury Standard.) Of all the silly, short-sighted, ridiculous-phrase* this, as it is frequently used, is,the most idle, arid unmeaning. We are called an infant nation, ana truly we’individually conduct ourselves like little

■children. We hare a certain class of subscribers who take our paper, and profess to like its contents, till by and by an opinion with which they do not agree meets their view. What in their sagacitjdid they mean ?—turn to their nearest companion with a passing comment upon the error they imagine they have detected ? or direct a brief communication to the editor, begging to dissent in the same pages where the article which displeased them has appeared ? No. They get in a passion, and, for all we know, stamp and swear, and instantly, before the foam has time to cool upon their lips, write a letter, commencing with “ Stop my paper 1 ” If we say rents are exorbitantly high, and landlords should be too generous to take advantage of any accidental circumstances, round comes a broad hat and gold-headed cane with “Si -, stop my newspaper ! ” Docs an actor receive a bit of advice, the green-room is too hot to hold him till relieved by those vengeful words, “Stop my paper ! ” if we over praise one person, some envious rival steals gloomily in with “ Sir, if you please, stop my paper! ” We dare not hope to navigate (he ocean with steam boats but our paper is “s opped 1 ’ by a ship captain. Our doctor nearly led us tlie other day because a correspondent had slightly praised an enemy of “ our college,”—and we expect a writ of fieri facias in our office presently on account of something which somebody has said against some law-suit, in wc do not remember what court. Tut all those were outdone yesterday by Tie following :—We were sitting in our elbow-chair ruminating on the decided advantage of virtue over vice, when a wbilhcml little Erenchman, with a cow-hide as long as himself, and twice as heavy, rushed into our presence. “ hair,” said he, and lie stopped to breathe. “Well, sir?” we said. “ IVI o isienr! ” said lie, stopping again to take breath. “Diablo, Monsieur! ” and he flourished the cow-hide about his head. “ Ileally, my friend,” said we, smiling —for he was not au object to be frightened about —“ when you have completely finished amusing yourself with Unit weapon, we should like to be master of our own leisure.” “No sail-; I have come to whip you wid dis cow-hide!” We took a pistol from the drawer and cocked it. “ Pardon me, pair,” said the i'rer.chman, “I will first give you some explanation, monsieur, if you have writ dis article.” We looked it over and acknowledged ourselves the author. It was a few lines referring to the great improvements in railroads, and intimating that this mode of travelling would one day supersede every other. “You have writ dat in your papair?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, den, sair, stop your raseailie papair. I have devote all my life to ride de ballon ! 1 shall look to find everyone with his little ballon—to ride horseback hide air—to go round de world in one summair, and make one rich like Monsieur Astair wid de big hotel. AVoll, Monsieur, now you put piece in your papair to say dat do railroad, Monsieur, de little railroad supersede —dat is what you say—supersede everything else. Monsieur, I have de honor to inform you dat de road nevair supersede do ballon ; and so, Monsieur, stop your vile pa-

pan-. [The foregoing pasquinade appears in a New York paper ; from our own experience, we should form an opinion that New York is not tiie only p’ace in the “wide wide world” where persons thin-skinned and equally “ silly and short-sighted ” arc to be found.—Eu. C'.N'.j