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Hawke's Bay Times, Volume III, Issue 132, 24 July 1863, Page 5 (Supplement)

The Cost of Theatrical Kisses. — A French journal gives a report before a. justice de paix of a claim made on an actor of one of the small theatres of the suburbs of Paris, for a certain number of kisses and a certain amount of tender squeczin on the stage. Wo get to know exactly by this amusing incident of real life the cost of a theatrical kiss, according to the dramatic laws of the stage in Franco. A high and noble authority has said—

“ The kiss you take is paid by' that you give ; The joy is mutual.” That is a poetical estimation, a love’s-young-dream sort of estimation of embracing. Hoar the prose story. One M. Narcisse appears’before a justice of the peace, and addressingthe judge says—“ Monsieur le juge. I’m a dramatic actor. I play the parts of lovers in a theatre of the Banlieue. My parts oblige me to be extravagantly passionate, excited, and enthusiastic. I’m obliged occasionally to love women of all ages, of all conditions in life, actively and perseveringly for a couple of hours together. Love-making may become laborious, Monsieur le juge, and even repulsive and annoying, if one is obliged to make love. Well, sir, and will you believe it, all my fire, devotion, my artistic amorous skill, so unceasingly addressed to the pit, has got mo into grief.” Judge : “ How so ?” Narcisse: “ Parbleau ! I gain only IOOf. a month for running away with young ladies, making love to confirmed coquettes, and often seducing unsuspecting innocence, and they want to make me pay 150 f. for articles delivered.” Judge : “ Articles delivered ; and pray what are they ?” Narcisse : “ Kisses. [Much laughter], 150 f. for one man to pay for such trifles ; That is what M. Valsin demands of me for, in fact, kissing his wife on the stage w hilst playing my role.” Judge : “ How is this ?” Valsin: “Itis a very simple affair. There are certain regulations which belong to all theatres on the subject in question. Art. 1 says, ‘ When an actor playing his role is called upon to kiss a lady, he shall only appear to do so.’ Art. 2. ‘ Any actor who shall really kiss an actress without her previous formal consent, shall be fined sf.’ Art. 3. c Pressing sincerely to the heart pays a fine of 2f. 50c.’ Now, Narcisse has vigorously embraced my wife ten times, and unmistakeably kissed her twenty-five times, for which I demand 150 f.” Narcisse: “The price is beyond all reason!” [Laughter]. Valsin: I demand that sum, according to the dramatic law.” Narcisse : “Come, let us compromise the matter; there are faults on both sides.” Valsin : “’Good!” Narcisse : “ I stole twenty-five kissesP” Valsin: “Yes.” Narcisse : “ Well, then, I offer to return them!” Here the Court lost all its gravity, and the judge dismissed the case, referring the matter to a higher court of justice.