MISCELLANEA.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume II, Issue 28, 9 January 1862, Page 6 (Supplement)

MISCELLANEA.

Great Cricket Match with Australia. —The preliminaries of a cricket match between eleven of England and a similar number of Australia having recently been arranged, a farewell dinner was ' given to* the former on October 17, at the Bridge Mouse Hotfel, London-bridge, fay the Surry County Cricket Club-. Of the “ Eleven ” who have been [chosen to - represent England in the contest, six belong to Surrey, and the remaining five to Middlesex, Yorkshire, and Kent. Their names are —H. Stephenson, (captain), Caflyn, Griffith Hearne • Sewell, Mortlock, Mudie, B. Stephenson, Iddison, Lawrence, and Wells. Each of these cricketers is to receive £l5O, in addition to the entire expense of the voyage to Australia and back. The “ eleven ” have already sailed from Liverpool. They are expected to be back in England again in May. All the Gold in the World. —Estimate the yard of gold at £2,000,000, which it is in round numbers, and all the gold in the world might, if melted into ingots, be contained in a cellar 24 feet square, and 16 feet high. All the boasted wealth ot C alifornia and Australia would go into an iron safe nine feet square, and nine feet high—so small is the cube of yellow metal that has set populations on the march, and roused the whole world into wonder.— Times.

A Digger’s Account of the Battle of Bull’s Bun. —Mow much confidence is placed in the bobolitionists even by the objects of their hypocritical worship was illustrated by one of those ebony idols we met in the street last night, in the midst of a circle of listeners to whom he was narrating his accidents by flood and field,” at Manassas, where, to use his language, he “ went in like a waggon load of burnt clay.”—Afore de flight eommenst Mass’r Joe says to me, ‘Sam, you’d better go behind, or the Y ankees may cateh you.’ Mass’r Joe,’ says I, I aint fered of no Yank what can eat a codfish, an if you aint got no dijiefion, I’d like to stan by you.” W ell, dreckly I seed the Yanks a comine an a kickin up a mity big dust. Den T hearn a popin of de guns, jis' like pouring shell cawn in an empty borrel, only harder. I stand stiff. Den I beam somiu go ‘whish’ on our ob dem iun bullits, bout as big as picanniny’s head, turn up de groun like Mass’r Jones’s ole bull down in de medder. Den de little fellers come singin a roun dis chile’s head like skeeters in de big cypres swamps, an I did’nt stan no stiff. Better belibe 1 felt like a biled dish-cloff ’bout do knees. Dis individuoals heart jumpt up and down like a ole gobbler in a ban baskit, and if he hadn’t kept de ivory shut, it oud a jumtp riteouten his mouf, sub. But I warnt skeered, no siree Bob ; dis chile aint one ob dat kine. But I tell you what, I thof it pooty sharp work for de ize, as de debbil said when de broad-tread waggin run ober his nose. Dar we stood an took it, an neber said nnffin. Presently seed one ob de melicious horsifers ride up wid his boss, all cohered wid lother, an I knowd somebody were a gwine to git hurt. I reckon you’d a tliot all hevin an yearth was a commin together ef you’d a hearn dem complimens we gib the Yauks. Artey dat fire, my bar, what had been stunning strate out, curled up agin‘an I felt as cool as de middle seed ob o cucumber in a refrigerum. Den we pored in de grape shot, and plum shot, and be bumpin shells, and dem little fellers wid a hole in one en what whistles toll da strike you, and don you don’t hear ’em whistle no mob. O, de hert and de smoke, and de blood! Den I gin to git mad. I didn’t kcre nuffiu for myself, case dis chile aint wurf much no how ; but to see de nice white gemmen shot down by dem abolitioners wur too bad. I didn’t say much, case I b’long to de church, but I thot ‘dam it’ a heap of times. Den we whip em, and den'day hull grabble at about de rate of two hundred and forty. Dey run outen dar boots, trowed away dar guns an equipshuns, an som ob em leff off dar knapsacks hanging on de bushes an fens rails. Dat wur de fust ’backard movement’ ober I went a fishin. De fuss man I got, I went out to make a rais ; I fel in a heap ob pockets, but never foun nuffin but a pack of kerds an a dugberrygraff an a lead quarter. Dem abolitioners are de misurblist pooh folks I eber see, Day aint wuffshootin. Gemmen,” continued Sam “dos any ob you know why we call dat place ,Mauasses Junction ?’ Well, I’ll tell you ;de abolitioners met us dar—we was de men, and day de asses, Ya, ya, ya.” —Richmond Enquirer.

Mr. Spurgeon' on the “ Gorilla.” —The Rev, 11. 0. Spurgeon has been lecturing on the Gorilla,” with (lie accessories of vocal music and dissolving views, in his great tabernacle, at Newington, to an audience which completely filled the whole building and must have numbered over 5,000 persons. Tha proceeds were to be devoted to the funds of the Band of Hope Union. It was intimated in the bills that M. du. Chaillu, the celebrated African traveller, had promised to lend a specimen of thegorilla for theoccasion, and when half a dozen men brought some large object carefully wrapped up in drugget, and placed it upon a table near the lecturer’s table, there was much laughter and cheers. Upon being uncovered, it was found to be a veritable gorilla of formidable build, standing nearly upright, with a ferocious grin, showing the whole extent of its huge mouth and teeth, or rather fangs, and holding up its right arm in a menacing manner. Mr. A. 11. Layard, M. P. for Southwark, and undersecretary of state for Foreign Affairs, presided, having M. du. Chaillu on his right. The commissioners of the International Exhibition have had under their consideration a plan which has been submitted to them for onveying passengers from Hyde-Park to the Exhibition building through a pneumatic tube. The principal upon which the tube works is precisely similar to that of the atmospheric railway, with this difference, that in the one case a piston only moves through the tube, the carriages with which it is connected passing over the outside ; while in the present pneumatic arrangement the carriages move through the tube itself. An old man, when dangerously sick, was urged to take advice of a doctor, but objected, saving, “ I wish to die a natural death.”

“ ’Tis our turn now,” as the autumn said to the west wind. “ You be blowed !” was the reply, and the leaves blushed at the rudeness.

A schoolboy, being asked by the teacher how he should flog him, replied, If you please, sir I should like to have it upon the Italian system—the heavy stroke upwards, and the down ones light!”

All the questions connected with the refreshment of the Great Exhibition of 1802 have now been adjusted. The space to be allotted for this department will be 70,000 square feet. Of this area 50,000, or something like an acre, will bo occu?n e n n e / C I U^ IVC , y V dnlin « s ' ooms - There will be 5 kitchens, 5000 feet for the stores and 5000 feet for vestibules and entrances. This space will be exclusive of a large amount of space in the annexes on the east and west side for third classes refreshments, and of a considerable amount of space in the main building itself for lighter kinds of refreshments. The whole space to be reserved for eating and drinking will not be less than 120,000 square feet, or about four times the space devoted in 1851. Among the conditions which will be required of the contractor, or contractors is one that a cold dinner shall be provided at 2s! per head, and others at stated hours, on the principal of the table d’hote, at 2s. 6d. or 3s. per head. Glasses of filtered and iced water are to be sup! plied gratis, and waiters competent to speak the principal European languages are to be in attendance in an appropriate livery. Splendid News from Washington. —The American correspondent of the Standard states, we know not how truly, that her Majesty Mrs. Lincoln is doing much to make King Abraham unpopular. Her conduct is described as that of an uneducated female without good sense, who has been unluckily elevated into a sphere for which she cannot fit herself. This may or may not be but when the writer in question, in designing to clench the nail, adds, “ In fact, Mrs. Lmcoln is making a Judy of herself,” we beg to scrunch him accordingly. Making a Judy of herself, indeed ! What nobler aspiration, what more beautiful ambition could fill the bosom of created woman ! To fit herself to be a bride for Punch, should Azrael, or sir C. C., vary existing arrangements, or should Pnnoh think favorably of Minn mism ! The correspondent of the Standard has unwittingly bestowed on Mrs. L. the highest praise which pen can set down, and if it be true that a lady of such a nature is the Queen regnant in the Union, the North is indeed to be congratulated. We hope to hear more of her Judyising proclivities. — Punch.

Bis hot Hamlet’s Advice to the Paesons. (Enter Bishop and certain Parsons). Bishop; Preach the sermon, I pray yon, as I pronounced it to you, fluently on the tongue ; but if you mouth it, as many of you parsons do, I had us lief the begging imposter spoke your discourse. Nor do not thump the cushion too much—your fist thus ; but use all gently ; for in the torrent, tempest, and (I may say) whirlwind of zeal, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it oliends me to the soul to see a robustious whisker-cheeked fellow tear an exhortation to tatters, to very’ ra<*s to split the ears of the sanctified, who, for tho ° most part, are capable of nothing but inexplicable grimace and rant. I could have such a fellow whipped for o erdoing Chatband ; it out-mawworms Mawworm ; pray you avoid it.—First Parson : I warrant your lordship.—Bishop : Be not to cold, neither, but let your own discretion be your tutor : suit the emphasis, with his special observance, that you o’erstep not the dignity of the pulpit, for anything so overdone is from the purpose of preaching, whose end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold as : t were the mirror up to conscience ; to show piety her own figure, profaneness her own image, and the very soul and spirit of a man his form and pressure. Now, this overdone, or come tardy off, though it make the witlings laugh, cannot but make the sober grieve ; tlm censure’of the which one must, in your allowance, o’erwei<di a whole temple of others. O, there be I have heard preach, and known others praise, and that highly, not to speak it profanely, that, having neither the accent ol Christians, nor the delivery of Christians, scholars, nor gentlemen, have sc^ moaned and bellowed, that I have thought some of Little Bethel’s clergymen had trained them and not trained them well, they imitated diggings so abominably.—First Parson ; I hope we have reformed that indifferently with us, my lord.—Bishop : O, reform it altogether. And let those that aim at being pathetic preachers speak no other than articulate sounds ; for there be of them, that will themselves groan to set on some quantity of maudlin hearers to groan too • though in the meantime, some necessary question of the text be then to be considered ; that's villanous, and shows a most pitiable hypocrisy in tho snob that uses it. Go, keep you steady.—[Exeunt Parsons.] — Punch. A soldier who was wounded in battle set up a terrible bellowing. A.ll Irishman, who lay near with both legs shot off immediately sung out, “ Bad luck to the likes of ye ; do yer think that nobody is kilt but ycrself. Brown wishes for the command of a ship, gets it, and has his head blown off" on the first broadside. Smith wishes Mary Jane to name the day ; she names it, and he never smiles again. It’s always so. True happiness, I maintain, consists in disappointment. A fellow who has taken our paper (says an American editor) two years without paying a'farthing for it, threatens to be our “ patron no longer.” He has been just such a patron as a rat is to a corn-crib, a cat to a pot of cream, or a democratic office-holder to the public treasury. A blooming young widow, living in one of the Southern States, which is strongly in favour secession sent word, through a lady friend, to a spry widower of New York, but wiio is not in very robust health at present, that “ she is for union.” To which he replied, “ And so am T, but due regard must be had to the constitution The office of bell-ringer at the church of a village in the midland counties being vacant, a decayed tradesman applied for the situation to the vicar, who asked him his qualifications for the office. He replied that ho had had long and continual practice in bell-ringing, having rung the bell in the Bull’s Hoad parlor every night for tho last five and twenty years. A little boy returning from the Sunday-school said to his mother, “ Ma, ain’t there a kitty-c hism for little boys ? This carh'-chism is too hard for me.” “ This is capital ale ; see how long it keeps its head.” “ Ay, but consider how soon it takes away yours !”