MISCELLANEA.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume II, Issue 27, 2 January 1862, Page 6 (Supplement)

MISCELLANEA.

On the Ist of October the Times made its appearance at threepence, and the Morning Post, Herald, and Advertiser followed suit. Those who maintained that the public would enjoy the benefit of the remitted paper duty, and that it would be absorbed by the stationers, are so far confuted. Not only the paper duty, says the Critic, but far more than the duty, is given to the public by this action of the Times, The remitted tax is 1 on the pound of paper, but it takes four copies of the Times to make 1 lb. of paper, and therefore the public receives a penny where the remitted taxation only amounts to 3-Bths of a penny. The Times is trying to overcome this loss by raising the price of its advertisements 50 per cent., but its contemporaries will scarcely be able to make ends meet in the same way. Their reduced prices are not likely to extend their circulation in the face of the active opposition of the penny press ; and the regular readers of the Post, the Herald, and the Advertiser would as certainly buy them at 4d. as at 3d. Take the Morning Advertiser as an instance; its circulation as the organ of the publicans is fixed and assured. Its change from 4d. to 3d. will nei ther extend its circulation nor increase its advertisements. Its daily issue is estimated at 6000, so therefore, the Id. it has remitted from its price, in order to run fair with the Times, involves a daily loss of £25, a weekly of £l5O, and a yearly of £7, 530 ; probably its entire profits! From this, of course, has to be deducted whatever gain may accrue from the lowered price of paper, but which at the most favourable estimate can scarcely reduce the loss to less than £SOOO per annum. The London newsvenders have held a meeting about their profits under the new cheap regime. They insist upon having a larger discount on their purchases of newspapers, as the reduction of price to one half whilst it increases their sales, cannot double them, and if it should, double them, it doubles at the same time their trouble, leaving them no greater remuneration than before. We may gather what the present discount is from an announcement of the Penny Newsman which advertises 20 copies for Is, 6d. Wanganui. The lessees of the Ferry have began to make a side cutting down to the water’s edge, which, when completed, will add greatly to the convenience of the ferry ; the rates however should not have been raised till the benefit was given. On Tuesday, the workmen employed at the cutting were stopped by John Williams, a Putiki native, who claimed* the land on which they were working—a small strip between the road and the river—as is. The case was brought before the Resident Magistrate and four Native Assessors, who, after about an hour’s arguing, succeeded in convincing Mr. Williams that resistance was vain. This native owns land at the back of the road, the forming of which has greatly increased its value ; and now he wishes to claim the small bit of ground between the Queen’s highway aud the river. He only submitted on being told that if necessary force would be used to assert the Queen’s right. He must have known better, as he is one of the best educated natives in the pah, lias been at the Episcopal college, Auckland, and is about to enter into holy orders. To Preserve Cut Flowers.— Most people like to preserve bouquets of natural fiowers. Many methods have been recommended, but they fall short of the object to be attained. In short, the water becomes putrid, and is obliged to be renewed at least once a day, without checking the alteration of the flowers, which commences soon after their separation from the plant. The following method, which has completely succeeded, consists in introducing a spoonful, more or less, of powdered charcoal in the water contained in the vessel, and immersing the lower extremity of the stems of the flowers in the charcoal. Hy this proceeding the most beautiful results are obtained, as the flowers are preserved without sensible alteration, at least as long a time as their natural condition, without it being necessary to renew either the water or the charcoal, or by giving them any other attention. The water is preserved quite clear in the vessel. — Cottage Gardener. Correct Speaking. —lf the golden age of youth, the proper season for the acquisition of language, be passed it its abuse, the unfortunate victim of neglected education is very probably doomed to talk slang for life ; for the longer he lives the more difficult the acquisition of good language will be. Money is not necessary to get this education. Every man has it in is power. He has merely to use the language which he reads, instead of the language which he hears; to form a taste for the best speakers and poets of the country ; to treasure up choice phrases in his memory, and habituate himself to their use, avoiding at the same time that pedantic precision and bombast which show rather the weakness of a vain ambition than the polish of an-educated mind, v The Hermans sleep between two beds, and it is related that an Irish traveller, upon finding a feather-bed thus laid over him, took into his head that the people slept in strata one upon the other, and said to the attendant—Will you be good enough to tell the gentleman or lady that is to lay over me, to make haste, a? I wish to go to sleep.

Destruction oe a New Zealand Packet-Ship by Fire. —The loss of the London and New Zealand passenger ship William Brown, Captain Barclay commander, was made known in London on the 11th of October by the arrival of one of the passengers. The ill-fated vessel was totally destroyed by fire on the night of the 2nd of October m lat- 36-44, long. 12 3 W., near the Western Islands, and it is gratifying to state that, with the exception of One man, the steward who is supposed to have been suffocated, the whole of the passengers and crew were saved. The WiUiam Brown was a barque-rigged vessel, about 500 tons classed , at yi T s > and was ta ’ Keu U P Messrs. Shaw and oavxll, the New Zealand emigration agents and brokers in Leadenhall-street, for a voyage to New Plymouth. She had a general cargo of merchandise, and some lljor 12 first-class and steerage passengers. She sailed from Gravesend about the /th ot September, and all appeared to have gone well with the ship until about 6 o’clock on the eveximg of the 2nd of October, when she had reached the above position. It was then discovered that a fire had broken out in her forepart, supposed to be by the bursting of some tins of oil or turpentine stowed under the forecastle. The officers and crew went down in the hope of being able to stifle the names, but they were unable to get near the seat of mischief. The captain and crew made another effort to extinguish the fire, and after four hours vigorous exertions it was apparent that the entire destruction of the ship was inevitable, and that no time was to be lost in abandoning her. The boats were ordered out, but, owing to a heavy cross sea that was running, there was difficulty in lowering them and keeping them clear of the ship. The crew succeeded in getting them down, and the ship was finally abandoned at 11 o’clock. About 1 o clock in the morning a brig was observed making towards them. The captain directed the gig to go to the brig, and she succeeded in reaching the vessel about 3 o’clock, and at 6 o’clock the other boats were descried, and the whole of the crew and passengers were safely got on board the brig, which proved to be the Swedish ship Hedrig Charlotta, of Stockholm, Captain J. A. Hallengrien, which was on a voyage to Kio. The captain of the brig saw the fire, 20 miles off, and at once bore down to it, and seeing the foremast and mainmast gone, but not a human creature about the blazin'* barque, he supposed that they had taken to the boats, and thought it his duty to cruise about in the hope of picking them up. The passengers and crew speak highly of the humane and generous conduct of those on board the Swedish brig ; but for the prompt aid which she rendered in bearing down to them they must doubtless have all perished, and they trusted that the English government would not allow this gallant service to pass unrewarded. They were landed at Madeira, and the brig went on to her destination. The William Brown and her cargo were partially insured at Lloyd’s. The loss is estimated at £30,000. The Marriage Market. — Who dared first to say that marriages were made in heaven ? We know that there are not only blunders, but roguery in the marriage office. Do not mistakes occur every day, and are not the wrong people coupled ? Had Heaven anything to do with the bargain by which young Miss Blushrose was sold to old Mr. Hoarfrost ? Did Heaven order young Miss Tripper to throw over poor Tom Spooner, and marry the wealthy Mr. Bung P You may as well say that horses are sold in heaven, which, as you knoware groomed, are doctored, are brought to the market, and warranted by dexterous horse-vendors as possessing every quality of blood, grace, temper, age. Against these Mr. Greenhorn has his remedy sometimes ; but against a mother who sells you a w-arranted daughter, what remedy is there? You have been jockeyed by false representations into wedding for the Cecilia, and the animal is yours for for life. She shies, kicks, stumbles, has an infernal temper, is a crib-biter—and she was warranted to you by her mother as the most perfect, good-tempered creature, whom the most timid might manage ! You have bought her. She is yours. Heaven bless you! Take her home, and be miserable for the rest of your days. You have no redress. You have done the deed. Marriages w-ere made in heaven you know ; and in yours you were as much sold as Moses Primrose was when he bought the gross of green spectacles.— Cornhill Magazine.

The Fashionable World. —ln a world sincere and in earnest the simple principal of right and wrong would act admirable and be a safe guidingstar ; but in the world artificial to its core, made of falsehoods, shams, and make-believes of all kinds, where nothing is what it seems to be,—in the world which takes sham airings every day over a few hundred yards in Hyde-Park, near a putrid piece of water emitting a stench, where the world drives because it is the proper thing to do, when for any benefit obtained the carriages and occupants might as well line the sides of long Acre; where the male world leans over the rails and stolidly stares at the ladies, because that is the proper thing, not that any gratification is derived from contemplating the panorama of beauty and fashion, or if there is it is improper to display it (for if Yenus herself drove past with her dolphins and shell, she would simply be honoured with a very proper unmeaning stare by the Adonises of the fashionable world); —the world that goes to the opera and appreciates Mozart and Verdi to the same extent that the ass and magpie did the nightingale in the fable which jams itself into flower-shows under pretence of admiring the beauties of nature in shape of exotics, which are really there, but cannot be seen by one-third of the great world assembled; and which crawls along a certain well-gravelled walk so densely crowded by propriety that the only view is, not of nature, but the back of a most fashionable coat and hat, or a large circumference of springy material, formed no doubt of horsehair and steel, hung over with yards of rich silk and lace, and crowned with an elegant bonnet, from which the spectator infers that the mass of silk and lace before him enshrouds some very proper person. —Martyrs to Circumstance. By the Hon. Mrs Yelverton.

.LUjCi IiUA JlUtta Ui 1 L/lUD VV AJtEAK,K.“-‘rt COITCS" pondent of an American journal narrates the following touching incident which occurred immediately after the battle of Bull’s Run; —“ We went into a stable at Centreville where thirteen wounded Yankees were, and on entering found a Washing-

ton artilleryman seated by the side of a wounded soldier, evidently ministering to him with great care and tenderness.. He remarked that it was very hard to fight as he had fought, and turn and find his own' brother fighting against him, at the same time pointing to the wounded £from whose side he had just risen. I asked if it was possible that was his brother. ‘Yes sir, he is my brother Henry. The same" mother bora us—the same mother nursed us. We met the first time for seven years. I belong [to’the tillery from New Orleans ; he to the First Minnesota Infantry.’ Thus they met—one from the far North, the other from the extreme South—on a bloody field in Virginia, in a miserable stable, far away from their mother, I ‘home, and friends, and both wounded. And this is the sort of war it is not considered proper to discuss, nor to wish it speedily ended by peace,[even if by a compromise.”

Mas Rochefoucauld’s Maxims. —Women’s feelings are more intense than those of men. We are happy or miserable at a ball or at home. A woman hates a question but loves to ask one. The female mind is too poetical to be tamely methodical who would marry a woman who punctuated her love letters ? Cupid is blind to everything—save pin-money. In society compliments are loans which the lenders expect to be repaid with heavy interests. Your candid friend has never anything pleasant to say to you. He reminds you of his pet virtue by wounding you with it. 'lf you want to know a woman’s true character, linger after the guests have gone and listen to what she has to say about them. A women wins an’old man by listening to him ; and a young man by talking to him. Enjoy to-day, for to-morrow the first grey hair may come. Hymen is only Cupid in curlpapers. Women confess little faults that their candour may cover great ones. There are no reasons which explain love but a thousand which explain marriage. Age is venerable in man—and would be in woman, if she ever became old. When a woman vows that she never flirts she is flirtingr—Punch.

Yankee Balderdash. —The most unkind cut of all the Southern rebels have yet received appears in another column of this morning’s paper. It is known to most people that there is kept for public references, in the police department, a collection of photographs of distinguished thieves, the whole being known as the “ Rogues Gallery.” Among these pictures were placed last winter likenesses of Davis, Cobb, Toucey, Floyd, and half-a-dozen others, (fomily in the Government,) who had exercised their propensity for accumulation by stealing the Government property. The “rogues” among whose miniatures the photographs were placed, bore infliction of their presence for some time in silence. Their compeers observed their growing melancholy, but knew not the reason. At last even depravity could keep them callous no longer. A score and a half of the most noted theives of the metropolis signed a serious and almost touching remonstrance, addressed to the Board of Metropolitan Police, protesting against the indignity. They say it is hard enough to endure the scorn of the world and the restraints of bolts and bars, but of this they would not complain ; when, however, they are put into the company of such men as those whose names they repeat, they feel that, though thieves, they are still men, and they cry out for mercy. —New Yorh Tribune. The French and the English. —The public documents of 1859 show that mortality in that year in Great Britain was at the rate of 2T96 per cent., in France 2'670, but this latter is considerably above the average of that empire owing to the prevalence at the time of dysentery, diphtheria, and some other epidemics. The marriage rate in Great Britain was 1650 per cent., in France 1'638. The birth rate in Great Britain was 3‘482. Thus the marriage rate and the birth rate being lower, in France than in Great Britain and the death rate higher, the natural increase of population is less in France than in Great Britain. The births in France in 1859 were 1,011,787 ; but there is no record of the birth in Ireland, but it estimated that the births in the United Kingdom amounted to nearly the same number ; but the deaths in France were 972,556, while the deaths in the United Kingdom were estimated at not exceeding 661,171, fewer deaths by 300,000, with about an equal number of births. A Burmese Prison. —l may remark (observes Mr. Gouger, in his “ Two Years’ Imprisonment in Burmah”), that, as the ringed men enjoyed their own superstitions within the prison, so it was a part of their duty to provide materials for the superstitious practices of their superiors without. They were expected to keep a depot of such articles as might be useful in incantations, especially those which the nature of their craft enabled them to supply with facility. The greater part of the stock of this disgusting museum consisted of various parts of the human body—hair, tongues, teeth finger, nails, &c., and when any such ingredients were required by the cunning necromancers in authority an indent was made for them on the prison stock. One of these men once gave me a tongue on a wooden skewer to look at. Not knowing what it was, and mistaking it for a twig of sticklac, which, in its dry state, it much resembled I attempted to chip it. The fellow screamed with fury as he snatched it from my hand. It was the last tongue in store, and had just been ordered to the palace. “If you had broken it yours should have gone instead,” exclaimed the wretch. Possibly it might ; br perhaps his own, as it might happen. It is fortunate that these unholy practitioners did not perceive any peculiar virtue in bits of white men, or some of us might probably have been anatomised for the museum. Captain Cox tells us that when ho was in Ava a wealthy criminal was executed, and the King’s physician secured the tip of his nose, his ears, tongue, and lips, with a little of his blood, to form a nostrum to ensure longevity to any one who received it from Ilis Majesty’s hand. It is to be hoped that homoeopathic doses only were administered, or few would hare a stomach for longevity under suca treatment. The boy who lost his balance on the roof found it on tiro ground shortly afterwards. A poultry fancier lately procured a picture of a favourite hen which was so natural that it laid on his table for several weeks.

Obituary—Rose Cheri, Mr. 'William Parren, Mr. Loft us Charles Otway, C. 8., Mr. Arthur Smith, the Earl of Eglinton, Mr. Yandenhoff, Lord Ponsonby, the Marchioness Dowager Conyngham, Lady Rose, Sir J. Hamlyn Williams, Major Sibthorp, M.P., Sir William Cubitt.

Lord Forth committed suicide by poison at Gloucester, on Bth October. We have to announce the sudden death of Sir James Graham, who expired at an early hour yesterday morning (October 25), at Netherby, the famliy seat in Cumberland, from disease of the heart. Sir James has been in failing health for some years past, but so sudden a termination of his illness was not expected. Sir James’s faculties were bright and unimpaired to the last, and he died expressing the utmost resignation. He was of the same age and standing as Earl Russell the year of his birth being 1792.

Dispersing the Ladies.—At Boulogne during the reception of Queen Victoria, a number of English ladies, in their anxiety to see everything, pressed with so much force against the soldiers who were keeping the line, that the latter were, some instances, obliged to give way, and generally were (to use the expression of our policemen) “ impeded in the execution of their duty.” The officer in command, noticing the state of affairs, shouted out, '‘One roll of the drum, and then, if they don’t keep back, kiss them all.” At the first sound of the English parchment ladies took to flight. “If they had been French,” says a Parisian journalist, they would have remained, to a woman.

Beee and Bear. —The importance of spelling correctly, says a New York paper, is seen by the following, especially the necessity of spelling lager beer as it shonld be. Mr. Todd, wishing a supply of Fourth-of July beverage, wrote as follows : Bungville, July 1, 1860.—Messrs Blotch and Drinker sen me up as soon as possibal a cask of Brandy and one Large Bear for forth of juli sen the Bear by express, in Ilaist. — Reuben Todd, The answer came as follows ;

Mr Todd —Dear Sir, —We send you to-day one cask of brandy and the bear by express, as requested. You must feed him on raw meat, and be very careful that he does not escape, as he is very savage. He cost 400 dols., and we let you have him for the same. Please forward payment.— Yours respecfully,— Blotch & Drinker.

The consternation of Reuben Todd was complete when the furious animal was landed at his shop door, with a half-scared curious crowd aaound it, and it was only by a sacrifice of the cask of brandy for a keeper, and a couple of trips to New York, that he got rid of his ugly property, and learned how to spell lager beer\ War Wit.—The Boston Commercial Bulletin has the following in its “ Sharpshooters’ ” column : —The regiments of the Northern Array, it is well known, contain practical mechanics of every branch of trade, as well as artists, merchants, clerks, and men from every walk of business ; so that when a commander wishes a bridge built, a locomotive repaired, or a pair of boots mended, he finds a ready response to bis order of “ Carpenters, step to the front!” “ Machinists, two paces forward, march!” “ Shoemakers, to the front and centre, march!” In an army composed of such material, the branch of trade from which such companies have been drawn will be indicated to the shrewd observer by their style of expression towards the enemy. For instance;—Printers: “Knock him into ‘pie!’” “ Smash his ‘form !’ ” " ‘ Lead’ him well!” “At him with a ‘ dash!’ ” —Carpenters : “At him full ‘chisel!’” “Shave him down!”—Tailors: “Sew him up!” “ Give him a good ‘ basting!’ ”—Sailors : “ Smash his 1 top lights !’ ” “ ‘ Run foul’ of him!” “ Sink him!”—Shoemakers: “ Give him a ‘ welting!’ ” “ ‘ Peg’ away at him !” “ Close him up!”— Fishermen: “ Split him and salt him !” “ Hook in the gills !”—Blacksmiths : “ Let him have it red hot!” “Hammer it into him!”— Painters: “ A little more lead !” “ Lay it on to him!” We’re just the size for him!”—Barbers : “ Our dander is up!” “ Now for a good brush!” “ Give him a good lathering !”—Cutlers: “ Polish him down!” “ Give him a keen edge!”—Bakers : “He (k)needs working over!” “ Let’s do our putties! !”—Lawyers : “Be brief with him !” “ Get his head in Chancery!” “Stick him with —the costs!”—Machinists : “ Set his running gear in motion!” “We’ll start the driving wheel and ho sha’nt break the connection again !”—Bill posters : “Stick him to the wall!”—Musical Instrument Makers: “Hie notes are all spoiled!” “String him up!”—Jewellers : “ Chase him well!” “ Show him your mettle, boys!”—Stage Drivers : “Whip him into the traces!” “ Touch up his leaders with the string !” — American Paper. A sapient country gentleman in giving orders to a bookseller to furnish his library, after particularly requesting to have Pope, Milton, and Shakespeare, added, “ If those fellows publish anything new, don’t forget to let mo have them!” A man may be great by chance, but never wise or good without taking pains for it. It is said that words hurt nobody ; nevertheless Sampson jawed a thousand Philistines to death. In the Name of Conscience it is most Wonderful. Here is the greatest marvel we have. met with in print for a very long time : “The Chancellor or the Exchequer acknowledges the receipt of bank-notes to the amount of £BO, on account of Income-Tax from ‘ Two Lawyers.’ ” We have always been told what an insurmountable difficulty it was to get any money out of a Lawyer, but here is not only one, but actually two Lawyers, voluntarily (and that constitutes the greatest part of the wonder!) parting with money ! Of course, it wasn’t their own. The fact, however “ V* “‘V I'--" o connection with the law or lawyers), as it now satisfactorily settlers beyond all cavil, the longdisputed point of “ Whether a lawyer has a conscience or not ? ” We are only afraid that these “ Two Lawyers” (who have only just escaped immortality, the rogues, by not publishing their names) musthave been terribly uneasy in conscience to have parted with so large a sum of money as £BO ! They must have had many sleepless nights before they came to the resolution of parting with it! What hideous crime, or crimes, have they jointly committed ?— Punch.